I occasionally go ‘live’ on Instagram, where I take the opportunity to physically talk to those of you who check in, and I always have a good time! During one such recent session, I remember someone asking me if I’d consider using clinical strength skincare treatment products from a dermatologist or doctor. My answer was that I would not.
I have nothing against seeing dermatologists or skin doctors. If I had a problem, I would see them. I had contact dermatitis on my hands once, and I saw a doctor for that. But if it was just purely for aesthetics, i.e. how I look, and not a medical condition that needs treating, I am less inclined to. The reason you see, is because I know I’m imperfect, and I don’t actively seek perfection.
I realize it’s a a strange thing to say, because we are told that we should strive for perfection in various aspects of our lives. But what if I just want to be better than average, but not necessarily perfect?
What if I acknowledge that I have imperfect skin – large pores, hyperpigmentation, uneven skin tone just to name a few that most of us also suffer from – but accept that it otherwise, is still better than average, and that it’s fine for my age?
It seems that as a beauty blogger, I am less allowed to be imperfect, as compared to the next woman. Today marks 11 years I’ve been blogging about beauty, and the pressure to be perfect is even stronger now than it ever was before. But why does it have to be so?
I do notice the raised brows, when people I meet find out I’m a beauty blogger. You see, the image of a beauty blogger is now so entrenched in people’s minds as someone who is model material, young, with long hair, beautiful skin, and immaculate, almost airbrushed makeup.
It’s now been 11 years, and I am nowhere near meeting any of those perceived ideals LOL! 😀 If anything, I just get older (if not wiser) in that time haha 😀
As a beauty blogger, I am imperfect in so many ways!
- I don’t wear mascara at all and barely any eyeliner
- I still have not mastered the cat-eye flick
- I don’t style my hair – it is quite literally a wash-and-go affair
- I have no idea what a cut-crease is nor how I could achieve it
- I only know how to bake in an oven, not my face
- I cannot contour my face to save my life!
- I do not have a porcelain complexion
- I have hyperpigmentation and large pores that often shows up in pictures and in real life
- I only have very rudimentary makeup skills
- I still struggle to apply eyeshadow properly
- I have eye trunks! (most people only have bags)
- I dislike having my photos taken
- I don’t wear an inch-thick of makeup despite my skin imperfections
- I struggle to wear false lashes
- I don’t have an instagram-worthy house filled with pretty spots, marble and bright light
- I don’t have an instagram husband/boyfriend/friend/cat/dog
- I don’t keep up with all the newest releases from all brands
- I don’t use MAC Cosmetics LOL!
But before you think I’m being hard on myself, know that I’m perfectly fine with it all 🙂
I don’t think I’ve projected an image of perfection, and that’s something I try not to do. We are all imperfect in our own little ways. Blogs and social media have compelled us to curate a life that looks visibly perfect, and I think that puts a lot of undue pressure on people. We all want that perfect lifestyle, because it looks, well, perfect.
No photographer, no problem! Nothing a tripod and manically smiling to yourself can’t fix
But I think we should be thankful for what we have, and that we are able to indulge in our love for beauty. It doesn’t have to be the conventional view of how beauty should be enjoyed, or what we should be doing. A room full of makeup is not the norm. A cupboard of skincare that expires is not the norm. Drinking Starbucks everyday is not the norm. Oh wait, strike that, it is for some haha 😀
You see, if I were perfect, I don’t think there would be much use in my blogging any further. What could I hope to share, if I have already achieved perfection? If I had clear, glowing, unlined, beautiful skin, I’d probably drop all my makeup. Why cover all that perfection?
If I had crazy makeup skills, able to juggle 5 eyeshadow colours, eyeliner, mascara AND contour my face, I wouldn’t blog either. I’d have no time to LOL 😀
I think therefore, that as bloggers, and especially so as bloggers, we should be allowed to be imperfect. We should be allowed to learn how to be a better version of ourselves, but not necessarily a more perfect version.
I love my skincare, because despite my entrenched imperfections, my skin condition is still better than average, for my age. I don’t strive to look forever 20 because I’m quite comfortable with my age and in fact am happier where I am today. I love makeup because it helps me look and feel a little better about myself. I feel that age is an important consideration as well. We are all viewing each other from different points in our lives. The life I led and lead is not the same as yours, and I may have time and indulgence to enjoy things others can’t. Never compare yourselves to others, and never seek perfection in others, only in yourself.
Today, My Women Stuff turns 11 and I embrace this new milestone and its challenges with open arms. I have not come half as far, nor have I grown my audience as quickly as many of my contemporaries have. But I am thankful and grateful for each and every one of you, for continuing to read and offering your support in your many little ways. I’m always more than a little stunned to meet a reader in the wild (as it were), sometimes in the most unexpected places (work related environments are most awkward lol!) but I’m always grateful for the support.
Thank you, to those of you who read and still read My Women Stuff, and who accept that I am imperfect by beauty blogger standards 🙂 I blog for myself, as I’ve said before. But I have since learned that some of my struggles are yours too, and if what I blog about can help you, it’s worth all of it 🙂
Thank you for 11 imperfectly perfect years 🙂
xoxo
Paris B
MEEN says
Thank you Paris for sharing this! And thank you for always sharing your opinions on beauty products 🙂 I love reading your blog because your posts are always very well written and honest! It’s the only place that I feel I can get honest opinions from haha so thank you for all the effort put into writing ^^
Paris B says
Thank you for the support and affirmation Meen! I’m truly humbled 🙂
Susin says
Hi Paris. Happy anniversary! I’m proud that we have such a professional blogger in our country. Malaysia Boleh!! Please keep writing anything you love, your fans will love anything you write.
Paris B says
Hi Susin, thank you so much for the well wishes and support 🙂 I will definitely keep our flag flying high as best I can! <3
Tubbs says
Happy blog birthday! This is one of my favourite blogs for the reasons you given … It’s not written by a bot who glosses over their imperfections but by a real person with proper opinions and a life! Don’t ever change. Raises a cup of virtual Starbucks in your honour.
Paris B says
Thank you so much Tubbs for still reading after all this time 🙂 I had to LOL at the reference to a bot – you are right you know. Some blogs do sound like they’re written by bots – all the text sound the same and their photos look similar too! LOL! And coffee is always welcome! <3
Summer says
Happy 11th Anniversary, Paris! Keep being the perfectly imperfect you!
Paris B says
Thank you Summer! Perfection, while desired, is overrated! 😉
Shareting says
I am an avid reader of your blog. To put it short, you have ignited my interest in skincare since 2015. I have taken my skincare very seriously and put in more conscious effort reading and studying ingredients of skincare ever since. My skin used to have no glow. But now together with consistent workout and diet control, my skin looks better. Kudos paris for your honesty. I like your blog compared to other beauty blogger because you write not what company asks you to write, but from your humble and honest opinion. For that I will keep coming back to read your blog.
Paris B says
Hi hi thank you for reading my blog after all this time! I’m happy that if I didn’t actually help, that it prompted you to at least do some research into the products that you use, and find something that works for you. That makes me happy, because really, it’s not my job to sell you products – that’s the job of the brands 😀 My job is to help you think if it’s right for you. Glad you’ve found it helpful in your skincare journey 😀
Kit says
Happy Anniversary, Paris! I love, love, love your refreshingly honest post especially in today’s picture perfect world. As a Mum to a growing girl, I am all for confident and comfortable in our own skin. Let’s keep it real!
Paris B says
Thank you so much Kit! Little girls face so much challenges today compared to before – it is really up to us to build that world for them where they know they don’t have to conform to some cookie-cutter aesthetic. And I’m sure you’re doing a good job doing that 🙂
miauberry says
I’ve been going through a tough patch and your heartfelt post is timely indeed- it made me stop and think, as much of your thoughtful writing do.
Happy anniversary! Thank you for being you, and wishing you another good year ahead.
xx from a faithful (mostly silent but always appreciative) reader
Paris B says
I’m sorry to hear you’ve been going through a rough patch Miauberry. I know how it feels to be in a slump and I do hope that you get out of it soon. That you found the post helpful in getting you through the rough bits, I’m grateful and humbled. Just remember, we never have to be perfect in the eyes of the world. We just have to do the best we can with ourselves and if that’s not enough for others, they can go fly a kite 😛 Thank you for reading and engaging with me all this time – I appreciate it!
kuri says
Happy anniversary! Your authenticity is why I identify with your writing and enjoy it so much.
Love the Prada bag!
Paris B says
Thank you Kuri for sticking by all this while! 🙂 And you know, when I bought that bag about 10 years ago or so, it was just the right size for me. But now, it’s far too big! Honestly, our preferences change so much over time. Maybe it’s because I’ve stopped carrying too many things around. It hurts my back.
Efrain says
Luckily I told how good I think you are the same day of your blog anniversary; but since I know that comments are what gives life to a blog, here I’m writing.
I keep saying your blog is one of those I love because it’s original and true to yourself; I love when somebody stands up and says his/her opinions without thinking if they’ll be more or less popular after it.
I hope I can still read your blog for a long time, congratulations and keep it going.
Paris B says
Aww thank you Efrain! I’ve since resigned myself to the fact that comments on blogs are in the past these days. People tend to find easier ways to comment and Instagram seems to be a favourite! But thank you, it means a lot to me that you chose to come here too! 🙂 Hoping our paths cross one day!
Jun Ni says
Hi Paris,
I have followed you for ten years and also the only beauty blogger I follow consistently. It comes just in time when I am pondering upon aesthetic laser treatment for imperfect skin – the ad /videos look so temptating – it seems you can achieve great skin in an hour or two. But I have never gave in. I have adult acne proned skin for years. Over years I learn that lifestyles influence the skin a lot – diet, sleep, exercise , stress etc. Skin care is beyond skincare products and treatment. Thanks for your unchanged style of blogging.
Paris B says
Hi Jun Ni, thank you so much for all the support through the years! To be fair to laser, it does work, provided that you are consistent and have deep pockets haha! I can say that I thought about that too, except I then realised I could do much more with the money than blow it all on my face! 😀 We all do what we can to be a better version of ourselves – it need not be perfect, but it’ll be unique!
Jess says
Happy 11th Anniversary Sue! Imperfection makes us unique lol…
Paris B says
Thank you Jess! Gosh this was actually from last year haha! but thank you so much and I hope you’re keeping well! Haven’t seen you in ages.
Jess Lee says
Oh this suddenly pop up in my FB timeline … hahaha maybe reminding us to meet up since it been ages …
Paris B says
Oh it must be because I was ranting about an idiot who said I didn’t look like a beautyblogger! LOL!! Yes it has been ages. Hope all’s been good at your end
Fireangel says
Happy 11th birthday mws! It’s been years and you’re now the only blog left I still read 🙂
Paris B says
Thank you FA! It’s a great honour to still be read because I know in this day and age, reading can be challenging 🙂
Klee says
Happy 11th year anniversary PB – I started following your blog in 2008! 11 years is a lifetime if you are online. I don’t see you just as a beauty blogger rather a lifestyle blogger. There is no such thing as perfection and those who project and strive for that are probably pretty hard on themselves and others. And what a difficult life to live always showing and going after shiny objects and not showing vulnerability.
Continue writing and sharing your re/views because you have substance, class, badassdery; eloquence and grit which many are lacking. Here’s to another 11 years to come ???
Paris B says
Thank you Kendra 🙂 Goodness, you have been there since almost the beginning! This was actually from last year but thank you so much for all the support through the years and for the kind words. I swear, it is readers like you that make it all worth the while! Oh, and it’s interesting that you said I’m a lifestyle blogger – it’s a label that I haven’t taken well too, maybe because the concept of a “lifestyle” blogger is someone who will blog about anything. But in some ways, I can see why I could be a lifestyle blogger, with “lifestyle” defined differently 🙂 Thank you again!