I occasionally go ‘live’ on Instagram, where I take the opportunity to physically talk to those of you who check in, and I always have a good time! During one such recent session, I remember someone asking me if I’d consider using clinical strength skincare treatment products from a dermatologist or doctor. My answer was that I would not.
I have nothing against seeing dermatologists or skin doctors. If I had a problem, I would see them. I had contact dermatitis on my hands once, and I saw a doctor for that. But if it was just purely for aesthetics, i.e. how I look, and not a medical condition that needs treating, I am less inclined to. The reason you see, is because I know I’m imperfect, and I don’t actively seek perfection.
I realize it’s a a strange thing to say, because we are told that we should strive for perfection in various aspects of our lives. But what if I just want to be better than average, but not necessarily perfect?
What if I acknowledge that I have imperfect skin – large pores, hyperpigmentation, uneven skin tone just to name a few that most of us also suffer from – but accept that it otherwise, is still better than average, and that it’s fine for my age?
It seems that as a beauty blogger, I am less allowed to be imperfect, as compared to the next woman. Today marks 11 years I’ve been blogging about beauty, and the pressure to be perfect is even stronger now than it ever was before. But why does it have to be so?
I do notice the raised brows, when people I meet find out I’m a beauty blogger. You see, the image of a beauty blogger is now so entrenched in people’s minds as someone who is model material, young, with long hair, beautiful skin, and immaculate, almost airbrushed makeup.
It’s now been 11 years, and I am nowhere near meeting any of those perceived ideals LOL! :D If anything, I just get older (if not wiser) in that time haha :D
As a beauty blogger, I am imperfect in so many ways!
- I don’t wear mascara at all and barely any eyeliner
- I still have not mastered the cat-eye flick
- I don’t style my hair – it is quite literally a wash-and-go affair
- I have no idea what a cut-crease is nor how I could achieve it
- I only know how to bake in an oven, not my face
- I cannot contour my face to save my life!
- I do not have a porcelain complexion
- I have hyperpigmentation and large pores that often shows up in pictures and in real life
- I only have very rudimentary makeup skills
- I still struggle to apply eyeshadow properly
- I have eye trunks! (most people only have bags)
- I dislike having my photos taken
- I don’t wear an inch-thick of makeup despite my skin imperfections
- I struggle to wear false lashes
- I don’t have an instagram-worthy house filled with pretty spots, marble and bright light
- I don’t have an instagram husband/boyfriend/friend/cat/dog
- I don’t keep up with all the newest releases from all brands
- I don’t use MAC Cosmetics LOL!
But before you think I’m being hard on myself, know that I’m perfectly fine with it all :)
I don’t think I’ve projected an image of perfection, and that’s something I try not to do. We are all imperfect in our own little ways. Blogs and social media have compelled us to curate a life that looks visibly perfect, and I think that puts a lot of undue pressure on people. We all want that perfect lifestyle, because it looks, well, perfect.
No photographer, no problem! Nothing a tripod and manically smiling to yourself can’t fix
But I think we should be thankful for what we have, and that we are able to indulge in our love for beauty. It doesn’t have to be the conventional view of how beauty should be enjoyed, or what we should be doing. A room full of makeup is not the norm. A cupboard of skincare that expires is not the norm. Drinking Starbucks everyday is not the norm. Oh wait, strike that, it is for some haha :D
You see, if I were perfect, I don’t think there would be much use in my blogging any further. What could I hope to share, if I have already achieved perfection? If I had clear, glowing, unlined, beautiful skin, I’d probably drop all my makeup. Why cover all that perfection?
If I had crazy makeup skills, able to juggle 5 eyeshadow colours, eyeliner, mascara AND contour my face, I wouldn’t blog either. I’d have no time to LOL :D
I think therefore, that as bloggers, and especially so as bloggers, we should be allowed to be imperfect. We should be allowed to learn how to be a better version of ourselves, but not necessarily a more perfect version.
I love my skincare, because despite my entrenched imperfections, my skin condition is still better than average, for my age. I don’t strive to look forever 20 because I’m quite comfortable with my age and in fact am happier where I am today. I love makeup because it helps me look and feel a little better about myself. I feel that age is an important consideration as well. We are all viewing each other from different points in our lives. The life I led and lead is not the same as yours, and I may have time and indulgence to enjoy things others can’t. Never compare yourselves to others, and never seek perfection in others, only in yourself.
Today, My Women Stuff turns 11 and I embrace this new milestone and its challenges with open arms. I have not come half as far, nor have I grown my audience as quickly as many of my contemporaries have. But I am thankful and grateful for each and every one of you, for continuing to read and offering your support in your many little ways. I’m always more than a little stunned to meet a reader in the wild (as it were), sometimes in the most unexpected places (work related environments are most awkward lol!) but I’m always grateful for the support.
Thank you, to those of you who read and still read My Women Stuff, and who accept that I am imperfect by beauty blogger standards :) I blog for myself, as I’ve said before. But I have since learned that some of my struggles are yours too, and if what I blog about can help you, it’s worth all of it :)
Thank you for 11 imperfectly perfect years :)
xoxo
Paris B
What a beautiful heartfelt sharing girl! :) Thanks for all the years of blogging and good ol’ honest reviews of skincare and makeup products etc. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed it and I trust that you do too. :) Happy anniversary and keep up the great work! x
Thank you Jo, for reading! :) I’ve had my ups and downs in blogging, but on balance, more ups than downs so that’s a good thing right? :)
Lovely post Paris. Thanks for assuring us *cough* specifically me *cough* that being imperfect is okay and that we should learn to love ourselves, imperfections and all ?
Hey Carol, thank you so much for reading! And yes, we are all imperfect and really, chasing perfection is bloody tiring! haha So, it’s OK as long as we aren’t hurting anyone. We achieve perfection at our own pace :)
Hi Paris,
I can’t believe that I’ve followed you for 11years
Excuse me for being quiet all this while, but it does not mean that I do not like your posts.
I enjoy reading every single post of yours.
Keep writing
All the best
Yikes Peggy, you’ve been traversing my ups and downs together! haha Thank you so much for sticking by all these years (frankly, I’m amazed anyone has haha!) Don’t worry about being quiet. I’ve noticed that it seems to be the current trend, as it were. There is so much noise and so much distraction out there, that sometimes, commenting is tiring in itself. I know, cos I hardly comment on most blogs I read unless I’m especially moved to do so :) But thank you for reading, and for taking time out to leave a comment this time <3
Oh, what is it with MAC cosmetics that you don’t use them?
Congratulations and happy anniversary.! 11 years and still going strong.
Everything! haha… well, ok I don’t like their service (very poor and rude most of the time, unless you’re a big spender) and their products have never agreed with me. Also, I absolutely dislike their new releases every other week. The reason I mention it is because most bloggers enjoy using MAC and enjoy collecting their limited edition items. I “grew up” on my blog being surrounded by this, so not covering MAC at all, was different LOL! Thank you for your well wishes. I hope to continue going strong :)
I absolutely adore how you defiantly defy all the stereotypes of a beauty blogger and come up on top! That’s what makes you so damn good at this, your ability to say “screw you, take me as I am, if not you can just sod off” and still become one of Malaysia’s best beauty bloggers. It’s an honour and a privilege to have known you for this many years. Happy anniversary lovely. Keep doing what you do because you certainly rock it! xx
Aww thank you so much Tine! It took me a little while to reach this level of zen, but there comes a time when you really just want to say “feck off” and the brilliant thing is knowing that you can :) Still missing your blogging! But totally understand why you chose to stop, and also totally understand how your business needs all the attention right now! :D
Got teary eyes reading your beautiful and true to the heart words.. embrace our age and live a happy and healthy life,àlways..thank you for being imperfect. You are what you are – so do I.
Thank you Wan *have a tissue* And you are so right. We are who we are. If we cannot be happy with ourselves, imperfections and all, how can we ever be happy right? So, here’s to us and our happy, imperfect selves! :D
Happy 11 years! I prefer an “imperfect” beauty blogger to a “perfect” (AKA fakers) beauty blogger any day!
Hahaha Thank you Ling, and may this be the year I meet my fellow Scot! Well, since I’m honorary Scot and all hehe
Thanks for this wonderful reading and congratulations Paris.
This post has been written by your heart and your words and the feeling behind them have really touched me.
Just know that I am very appreciative for all the posts you share with us! Look forward to new posts!
Thank you for being so human, humble, honest, supportive, kind, sweet, generous, funny, wonderful and beautiful person.
Thank you for the support all this time Anusha :) I appreciate it too!
Happy eleventh! After years of blogwalking, I feel most relatable to you than any other bloggers in my age range because of those imperfections you listed ^^
p.s. Your pants is literally fire! Love it <3<3<3
Thank you Amalia! I’m glad you found my blog relatable. I think that’s most important when seeking opinions online! And thank you for noticing my pants – it would have been hard not to haha! ;)
Congratulations on the blogging anniversary PB! Been following your blog for almost 11 years now.
Unfortunately, you are right about how blogging is no longer what it used to be. How times have changed!
Thank you Amanda! Goodness, you were there right at the start! Kudos to you for hanging on so long haha :D And yes, blogging today is totally different from blogging 10 years ago. Today, it’s all very much a lifestyle thing. Pros and cons I suppose. But I do hanker for the old days sometimes, when we were all friends
Happy blogging anniversary! All I can say is that I am so glad that you are still blogging. I am not sure how I will ever keep up with the skincare and beauty world if it wasn’t for your blog and instagram sharings. Hahaha. Keep up the good work Paris. You have a solid fan base and following due to your honesty and integrity as a blogger :-)
Thank you Victoria! Actually, if you’re using me as a base to find out about what’s happening in the beauty world, you’d be about as left behind as I am! LOL! Loads of other accounts and blogs that are so much more at the forefront of everything new. I can’t keep up (no time!) but I’m glad you find it all helpful regardless! :)
Perfection is overrated and boring! Happy anniversary! Thank you for being the imperfect but honest you. Keep on blogging!
Thank you Cecilia! It’s taken me quite a while to realise that being imperfect is perfectly OK! But now that I have this realisation, that’s a huge weight off my shoulders! :D Thank you for always reading!
I think it’s fine to be comfortable in your own skin and to embrace your own imperfection. There’s always someone out to there who is better than you. Keep comparing, you drive yourself crazy. It’s always best to be the better version of yourself. Those air brushed bloggers, God know how many nip tucks and injections they have done. It’s very common. It’s a matter of whether the person wants to admit it or not. I have 0 faith and confidence in whatever products they promote. But that’s me, of course.
Yup, we are all imperfect in one way or another. If we were perfect, I don’t think we’d be human anymore LOL! Oh and yes of course there’s been lots of nips and tucks in the business. It’s the only way people can afford to keep putting a flawless face forward all the time! ;)
Congrats on 11 years PB! You’re an inspiration to women everywhere! Your imperfection is perfect! ?
That’s very kind of you to say so Clare! Thank you for the support for my imperfect self! :D
Hei Paris, I had been reading your blog for close to 11 years, almost since the beginning when you started blogging. From my uni student era till my working life! I seldom comment but just want to let you know that perhaps it’s the imperfections that makes your blog more interesting and real. I feel I could relate with you as your beauty routine is simple and practical. I really love and trust your reviews which I think is unbiased and also done in an objective way. Thanks for writing this blog! It’s been my reading material for 11 years!
Happy anniversary!! Keep writing and I hoped you enjoyed every bit of it!
Wow girl, I REMEMBER YOUR HANDLE! haha… Thank you for the support all through these years and it’s nice to know that we have grown together, I hope in a positive way! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and above all, for reading my blog. It heartens me that someone does! <3
Happy 11th years of blogging !!!
Thanks Bugsy! :D
You are perfect in being truthful and blatantly honest in your reviews and daring to be different. You have reassured readers that there isn’t a need to conform to the norm or to present a perfect lifestyle/image/skillset in the virtual world to be successful. Happy 11th anniversary! That’s a really long time in the cyber world.
Thank you so much for getting it Nicole! :D There is absolutely no need to project an image of being perfect, if that doesn’t make us feel comfortable. I feel like there’s just too much pressure to conform to perceived ideals of what a blogger should be, and that puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on us, as bloggers! Thank you for reading all this time, and yes, I’m a Grandma of beauty blogging LOL!
Girl, I LOOOOVE YOUR BLOG and I’m always glad to see you’re still around!!! Thank you so much for all you do! Happy 11th and happy belated National Women’s Day!!!
Thank you for hanging in there for all of us readers who appreciate you and your blog! Have a great day!
Thank you for the support and for reading all this time Z! Here’s wishing you all the very best, and hoping things are looking up for you! <3
Happy 11 blogging years Paris! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, beauty adventures and opinions with us :)
What I love most about your blog is that you are content with who you are and what you have. That’s not something you come across very often in the blogging or beauty world. I need to remind myself of this when I am either thinking way to much about a product or products that I want to buy or when I think that my blog is crap and could be better. At the end of the day makeup and skincare is fun, but it’s not the most important thing in the world :) Thank you for this and here is to more years growing together and inspiring one another! xoxo
Thank you Sylvia :) Therein lies the difference between someone who does this as a job, and those of us who can afford to do it on the side. Honestly, until I worked it out that I could not compete with the full-timers, I was always thinking I was in some ways, inferior. But since that realization, I’m happy to do things my way, in my own time. So don’t feel bad – we do the best we can and as long as you’re still enjoying it, keep at it!
Happy 11 years of blogging, Paris! I read through the comments, and they’ve already said what is needed to be said so… a toast to you and MWS!
Thank you Lily! Here’s a toast right back at ya for hanging in there! ;)