Recent years have been challenging for me in a personal capacity. There were times when I wanted to crawl into a cave, seal the entrance, and never come back out into the cold, cruel world. 2015 and early 2016 were particularly challenging, and I reacted by being angry and uptight all the time. This reflected itself on my skin – I slacked on my skincare, I was lazy with my makeup, and for that, I was rewarded with dull skin.
We all go through phases like this at some point in our lives. However, I wanted to share what I’d label the “3 R’s” that have helped me climb up and stay on top of things, and in many ways, lessen the tension on my internal spring, so I’m not so tightly wound up all the time. I wrote this in collaboration with La Mer Malaysia, and while it’s coming at a timely moment at the beginning of a new year, this isn’t anything to do with a new year at all. It’s all to do with YOU wanting A NEW YOU and it’s something you can practice at any time of the year 🙂
Refresh
To refresh myself, and to distract from dwelling on dark thoughts, I decided to learn something new. I picked hand-lettering, or calligraphy. I took a short class in nib pen copperplate calligraphy in the early part of last year, but I couldn’t keep up with it. I found it beautiful but too finicky. In the later part of the year, I told myself I’d teach myself brush pen calligraphy instead.
I didn’t really want to talk about this at first, because I’m still new to it and am positively embarrassed to show my poor attempts 😛 But I’m practising often, because it’s far easier to pick up a pen, pre-filled with ink, than it is to prep a workspace for using nib pens. It’s been a quiet personal project since mid-December, as a personal challenge to see how far I can go in 6 months. I set a goal, I sampled it, and I’m taking baby steps! It’s refreshing, and I’m enjoying learning something new 🙂
On the beauty front, I’m keeping my skincare routine refreshed, by maintaining a hydrating routine, but layering different products in a slightly thinner layer. I work on hydration, for example, by layering a hydrating lotion like the La Mer The Treatment Lotion (I love this product!) which adds a hydration boost to my skin, and then layering on a thin layer of a hydrating serum, which is the brand new La Mer The Revitalizing Hydrating Serum that’s now available at counters. I’ve been using this new The Revitalizing Hydrating Serum for about a month now, since I received the sample, and my skin drinks it all up and loves it! It isn’t sticky, it absorbs quickly, and it makes my skin feel so comfortable. I do find it a little rich, so I only use half a pump in the day, and a half to full pump at night. The metallic scent is a little sharp, but it really keeps my skin well hydrated and plumped in the day, so makeup sits well; and well nourished through the night so I wake to happy skin. Major love, for refreshing and revitalizing my skin 🙂
Renew
To make an effort to get out, what I did in 2016 was to renew ties with friends. A bunch of us would meet up at least once a month, to catch up, chat and EAT! It doesn’t seem like much, but we are so often caught up in our daily lives, that we forget to maintain those friendship ties, thinking you’d always be friends. No you won’t, if you don’t make an effort to keep those friendships alive.
I look forward to our monthly meet-ups, and our annual 1 January new year gatherings (in its 7th year now!), and I appreciate that everyone makes that little effort to get together, for it truly takes effort to maintain friendships, as with all relationships. I also renewed ties with an old friend living overseas, thanks to the wonders of WhatsApp, where in those few minutes of chatting, we’re giddy-headed teens, swooning over Harrison Ford again 😀 I also try to catch up with people who have become friends along the course of work. Just a handful, but they are there. I’m not the world’s most sociable person, being pretty much a hermit, with a very small circle of friends. But making this effort is important to enrich and renew your ties with others.
My beauty renewal comes in the form of a continued appreciation for facial oils. Facial oils, like the La Mer The Renewal Oil which I still use (practically done with my first bottle!) remain firmly rooted in my skincare routines. The Renewal Oil is light enough that I can use it in the day, but I also use a little more to seal in The Revitalizing Hydrating serum in the evening 2-3 times a week. A thin layer of moisturiser over it all, and I wake up with soft, hydrated, comfortable skin. I am always experimenting, but since incorporating facial oils into my routine about 2 years back, I’ve seen only positive results.
Revitalize
You know that song from the Madagascar cartoon – I like to move it? Well, I don’t 😛 I’m a sloth. I dislike moving. So, although I had aspirations to one day complete a run, the reality was that I couldn’t. My knees and ankles aren’t made to run and I kept injuring myself.
I sat around like a blob for a while, until I realised that I actually enjoyed swimming, and it was what I used to do. It’s easy to slack with swimming because of simple things like weather (rain, too hot etc) and when you get your period and don’t really want to get into the pool. But I pushed past all that, and worked out a little routine for myself, promising to swim a little more, and a little further each time. I even bought myself a swim cap! My first ever, and goodness. Why have I never owned a swim cap before?! It helps me swim faster, and my hair hasn’t turned into hay. Yay! 😀
On the beauty front, I’m stepping up my facial and massage treatments. I’ve met many people who tell me that a facial is a waste of time; and why would anyone want to lie there for an hour, doing nothing. I can’t understand the aversion to doing nothing because I’m a sloth, remember? 😛
For me, it’s during a facial or body massage, that you truly have time to just yourself. It could just be for one hour, but it is one hour where it is just only about YOU. No phones. No social media. No chatter. No kids. No one else. Just you and your facial or massage therapist. Sleep, if you want to, or just drift. I personally visit the La Mer Spa (which has now moved to Robinson’s at The Gardens, if you’re like me and wondering where they’ve gone) where I’ve been going for the last couple of years since my previous regular facial place closed down. Lovely facial massages bar none and always leaves me and my skin feeling revitalized!
These are the 3 R’s I have quietly told myself to practice in the past year, to pull me out of the funk I was in. It has helped me stay afloat despite negativity threatening to sink me, and if you too are facing challenging times, I hope one of the R’s will, one way or another, help you too 🙂
Do you practice anything similar to help you stay sane?
Calligraphy is really quite the in thing now, and helps me relax, if something bugs me. It’s a skill that isn’t hard to pick up. You do however, need to practice, practice, practice to be any good at it. And that takes a hell lot of discipline! Have you tried your hand at it? 🙂
Paris B
This post is kindly sponsored by La Mer Malaysia
La Mer The Revitalizing Hydrating Serum retails for RM820 | US$195 for 30ml and is available at all La Mer counters from January 2017.
mine is just 1 R: Relax. I found myself worrying over small little things that i make myself unhappy n angry n whiny. When i stop trying to worry so much and just go with the flow, things doesn’t seem to be as bad, sometimes i find the good stuff that lies within it and i don’t get stressed out. Why worry over things that has happened when I should think of how to rectify it n not happen again?
i tend to go into flight mode certain times and just do whatever i want, without work or anything online interfering. Best thing i have ever done in Dec 2016.
you know like they say, offline is the now luxury. ?
Oh yes, I should include Relax as well! Goodness knows, I’ve been so uptight, my muscles feel like stone! You sound so zen now haha! Stay that way! Sometimes, we just need to live in a little bubble of bliss, and be untouched by the stresses of the world, especially when it’s things that we can’t change, or people who won’t change. Oh and going offline is a great idea! I sometimes purposely leave my phone elsewhere so I don’t have to hear it – gives me a great excuse to not answer calls or messages 😛
Oh Paris B, thanks for this post.. i really really really appreciate it. I am need of one and keep reading one thing after another about self help articles and it is making me all confused when am at this juncture. I feel as if i’m stuck and can’t move. And your post gave me an insight that all it takes is baby steps and to take care of yourself first (your health, mental, physical not forgetting your well being). Thanks again, it motivates me to do something about my life. have a great day, love!
Hi ZF, I’m glad it’s helped you stop and take stock of what you can do 🙂 Believe you me, I’ve been where you are, where it seems like you keep running into a brick wall everywhere you turn. It’s frustrating and upsetting and I’ve found that self-help articles are sometimes too idealistic you know? So, start with yourself. Always take care of yourself first and it’ll help you find the strength to deal with the ugliness of the world out there. Good luck and remember that your well being always comes first! 🙂
Lovely post PB! Your posts of late have been great (New Year and all!) and they keep me inspired you know 😉
Have I mentioned that I LOVE to do nothing?! Well I do 🙂 I am a very big home-body. Sleep is what I do when Im stressed, but you do need some motivation to get out of bed and the house sometimes for your own sanity. I will be keeping these tips close by! Xo
Aww thank you Sylvia! 🙂 I feel a bit preachy LOL! But there’s no better time to share about turning over a new leaf, than at the start of a new year right? 😀 Oh I’m so glad to meet another sloth 😛 Going out is fine, just to refresh yourself and have a change of scene, but staying home, just communing with yourself is so underrated! Everyone should try it 😀
Thanks for the post! 2016 was a year where I was easily irritable, impatient, irrational, angry and uptight all the time. Not sure whether it’s the hormonal thing ( yes, blame everything on the hormones!), and my health and skin suffered because of that. Coincidentally like you I have just started brush lettering, it is therapeutic in a way but it bugs me that I can’t write as well as all I see being posted on Instagram. I have quite nice handwriting but for brush lettering it takes more effort and I have been practicing diligently every day and hopefully I get better at it and also to train myself to be more patient.
Haha Oh I wish I could blame everything on hormones! On the bright side, at least we can eh? 😉 I’m so sorry to hear that 2016 was a rough year for you, but it’s heartening to hear that you’ve noticed and realised it. It’s the first step to making a change! That’s what I did, and while my health did take a dip, my skin has really benefitted. One out of two ain’t bad haha! 😀
Brush letting is harder than it looks isn’t it?! While I too get envious of the pretty letterings I see on Instagram, I try to tell myself that I’m new and they’ve been doing it for ages. They’ll naturally be better, and trust me, you WILL get better! I too have taught myself to slow down, because brush lettering does have to be done slowly, and it’s been great at teaching me to not rush things. I’m happy to meet another brush lettering newbie! Here’s to a year of pretty letters! 😀
Oh Yes, just last week I went for a Thai massage, a long long gap since my last massage. Every part of my body is sore and tight. Laying there enduring the pain and tightness, I wonder to myself why I haven’t thought of going for a massage in such a long time. I love facials and massages !
And, the new La Mer The Revitalizing Hydrating Serum… That was love at first application ! But ( as usual ) hate the price. My skin actually glow from first application, no kidding ! My sample lasted me a week of day and night use, so I had nice skin for a week. And the facial at La Mer… LOVE !
Ah Bugs, you’ve tried that new Revitalizing Hydrating serum! It’s good isn’t it? I really like it myself, and I am quite convinced it’s actually done something more for my skin. It’s nice to know that you thought so too! I’m with you on the price though. Ouch 🙁 🙁 Speaking of massages, where do you go for your Thai massages? I’ve been a little wary of going for one (even in Thailand) ever since I realised that being forcibly contorted wasn’t my idea of fun LOL So I tend to opt for oil massages these days, where I don’t have to do any “work”.It’s probably time for me to kick off my year with one soon! 😀
I went to Thai Odyssey at MV ( because their price is the cheapest compared to massages from beauty salons ) The “folding” part might scared someone. But after the pain, there’s this light feeling from head to toe that makes me wanna do it again. XD It was not the stretching part that is painful to me, but the pressing part coz my muscles were too tired and tensed.
Btw FYI, they offer aromatherapy massages as well.
Ahh I’d always seen that Thai Odyssey but wasn’t sure if I should try it! Next time I’m there I’ll go and take a look. I used to be alright about being pulled and stretched physically in Thai massages, but I once had a little strain after such a massage, because I realised that the masseurs may not be as well trained as they purport to be. Still, if you’ve survived a trip there, I’ll have a look! 😉
This post really resonates with me! I am also a big sloth (sleep is the biggest therapy for me!).
I have been trying to squeeze in other forms of relaxation since giving birth, and have found a nice balance of talking strolls with my little one and grabbing some reading at a cafe while she sleeps inside the carrier. Am looking into facial sessions – do you have any experience with the aster spring salons in Malaysia? 🙂
Hi Tracy that’s a lovely way to spend time with your little one! I’m sure she enjoys the time spent with you too and getting out and about is a good thing. I’ve only tried the Aster Springs salons once. I wasn’t impressed because the atmosphere was not to my liking, being noisy and the way they made you walk around in your robe and leaving the doors open. I like my facials quiet and comfortable. That said I know of a few people who go to Aster Springs as their regular facial place because the products used agree with them. It depends on your expectations and preferences 🙂