If there’s one thing I’ve noticed, it’s that sometimes, we women are our own worst enemies. Those of us who take a little bit of trouble to dress up are given the once over with a questioning look of “Where does she think she’s going?” and those who take a little bit more interest in makeup or fashion are quickly labelled superficial and shallow. Hey, beauty bloggers get it all the time so I’m pretty immune, because I know I’m not 😀 I’m a woman so I’m qualified to make this statement and I dare anyone to tell me otherwise! 😉
Yet, what I’ve found is that taking a bit of trouble with your appearance can do wonders for your confidence and self-esteem, and even your mood. When your mood lifts, everything else starts to improve. It’s the law of the universe. Besides, it isn’t shallow if you take that trouble for yourself, not merely to impress friends or colleagues or the general public. You aren’t shallow if you’re trying to better yourself.
I speak from experience, mainly because when I was languishing at the bottom of a deep ravine of self-doubt and emotional turmoil, I took no interest in my dressing and even in my makeup. Heck, even my skincare routine suffered. I’d slob along to work in a sloppy cardigan top hanging over pants that barely fit me anymore, or in an ill-fitting dress that did not fit 5 years ago and still doesn’t fit now.
My makeup was rudimentary. I’d apply the most basic of makeup, not caring if the colours matched or clashed, or if they made me look tired or old 😛 This carried on for over a month and from day to day, it seemed that my mood of despair kept spiralling further and further down the abyss. It seemed that there was no end in sight.
Until one day, I stared out over the twinkling lights of the city landscape from my balcony, and realised what a bum I’d become. Fittingly, I’d stopped blogging at that time or you could say that I was a failed beauty blogger, not practising what I preached and just being a right slob. So I picked myself up by the figurative lapels and decided to turn things around.
One of the hardest things you can do when you’re feeling down is to dress up. When your mood is low, it’s hard to take an interest in making yourself look good. But don’t underestimate how much better that will make you feel if you do.
Dress up to feel better
What I did was make some subtle but effective changes to my wardrobe. I didn’t go out and buy a new wardrobe. I just worked with what I had. To look a little more pulled together, I started tucking in my shirts or blouses into my skirts and slacks. I love the classic, simple style of Jean from Extra Petite and I recommend reading her blog for fashion tips and ideas because she dresses well in a good mix of mid, high and low end brands and makes them work. Hers is the only fashion blog I read 🙂
Tuck in your tops
Try it for yourself and see the difference. Tucking in your tops instead of leaving them loose, gives you a more defined silhouette, and makes you look neater and more pulled together. Leaving your top loose, whilst more comfortable, can make you look sloppy.
Wear a belt
A belt helps you accessorize with minimal effort, and also pulls your outfit together, giving definition where you may not otherwise have it. Instead of leaving a cardigan flapping lose, belting a thin belt over it gives your outfit a bit more definition.
Blazers add definition
If you can wear a blazer, it helps to create definition as well, while maintaining a professional appearance. But be sure to pick one that fits you well. A blazer that hangs loosely or that is ill-fitting looks as bad as a sloppy cardigan. The key here is to wear something that fits YOU and makes you look good.
Wear brighter colours or a pop of colour
While it’s tempting to wear black to match your mood, and believe me, I wear a lot of black and dark colours, adding that pop of colour to your outfit, whether it be a floral or colourful top, a scarf, a belt etc can help lift your mood. Colours are a great way to play around with your outfit, and the right colour can similarly lift your mood. So, pick a colour that makes you feel happy and wear it.
Wear heels
I know some people can’t wear heels, but if you can, pull on your prettiest pair of heels and go. I pulled out heels that I hadn’t worn in months or that I keep saving for “special occasions” and wore them. They made me feel like a million bucks!
Wear accessories
I’d stopped wearing accessories for a while. It was partly due to laziness and partly due to lack of interest. But when I started dressing up a little better, I realised how important accessories could be to jazz up an otherwise plain outfit.
So, I started digging out my old necklaces and earrings and the odd bracelet and watch that I owned. I started wearing some or all of them at one go. Subtle touches of silver or gold on my ears and a delicate necklace. I started appreciating lighter, less bulky jewellery and soon, it became a habit for me to put on at least a pair of earrings or a new set of rings that I’d bought myself to finish off an outfit.
I noticed how much more pulled together I looked with a small piece of jewellery as opposed to not wearing any, and that made me feel better about myself. It’s also given me a brand new interest in jewellery which is an expensive affair LOL! 😀
Wear Makeup to feel better
With my change in my wardrobe, I took a greater interest in my makeup application. Which leads me to a little anecdote. When I was feeling down one day, I went for a walk in a mall to spend some vouchers that were expiring. I then stopped by the Dior counter to check out the Christmas collection and was invited to sit down for a short makeover and to try the new foundation. One thing led to another, and I received a general makeover. When I looked in the mirror, I was happy with what I saw, done by the expert hands of the makeup artist, and that lifted my black mood and I stayed happier for the rest of the day. It isn’t shallow to want to wear some makeup or to want to use makeup to look a little better. If it makes you feel happier, why not? 🙂
Wear bright lipstick
Bright lipstick almost immediately lifts your complexion and makes you look better and more alive. During my time down in the doldrums, I noticed I was wearing fairly neutral lip shades. Enough to complete my look but I looked faded. When I switched to a brighter shade, I immediately looked perkier and better and I actually felt better too.
Wear a bright blush
Bright doesn’t mean a red blush like that from the Chinese opera. It simply means a colour that lifts your complexion. If you don’t know what that colour is, head to any makeup counter and test their blushes. For me, pink blushes make me look fresher and younger and better. Rose blushes tend to make me look a little more tired or more dull. For some people, it could be a peach blush or a red blush. Find a shade that you know makes you look brighter and better and wear it.
Define your eyes
One of the things I neglected was my eye makeup, and that’s when I noticed how much better I look with eye makeup that makes my eyes look more defined. Neutral eyeshadow was fine, but putting on an eyeliner and pencilling in my brows almost instantaneously made me look more alive and perkier and more alert.
In the beginning, it was hard to be taking so much interest in what was otherwise a routine affair, when your mood isn’t all that upbeat. Yet, I started noticing that when I started making an effort to dress and look better and more pulled together, my mood started to lift. It is hard to feel down when you catch sight of yourself or your reflection and think “Damn, I look good today!” 🙂
And when your mood lifts, everything starts to look up again. It’s the law of the universe, believe it or not. You may get offers of help from unexpected quarters, what appeared to be a sinkhole in the road now shrinks to the size of a pothole, you get things done, you start feeling better and things start looking up in the world.
So, the next time you’re feeling down on your luck and slowly sinking into despair, make a conscious effort to dress up and put on some makeup. It may not change how things are, but at least you will feel better about yourself and believe me, when you catch that glimpse of yourself and think “Hey, good looking!” your mood lightens and slowly, things will start going your way. Try it and see 🙂
Have you noticed how dressing better or wearing some makeup can boost your mood and make you feel happier if you’re feeling down?
So often, we are told that an interest in makeup or wearing makeup or taking an interest in what we wear is superficial and shallow – I’m sure you’ve all heard it at some point in your life. If not said about you, about someone else. But it’s worth thinking about, because when you put your best self forward, people take notice, you feel better, and surprising as it is, you may even accomplish and surmount more obstacles than you thought you could. If you have an anecdote, do share. I’d love to hear your stories, and gentlemen amongst you, please let me know if the dressing up bit is true for you too! 🙂
Paris B
aye aye! can’t agree more! dressing up really helps to boost confidence and mood; bottom line is, even if u don’t feel good inside, at least u look good outside!
p/s: now i need the BV to make me feel better
Glad you agree Xin 😉 And yeah, at least one thing good comes out of the day haha! Sorry, snagged that last BV clutch on Net A Porter 😛 Let you know next time
It’s definitely a good pick me up, I agree! When I feel low, I usually don’t want to do anything. Sit around and sulk – that’s what I do. Once I’m done moping around though, I find exercising helps. Whether it is an invigorating yoga home practice or some aggressive kickboxing. Things usually look up after a good sweat – for me that is. Only after this, I might start thinking about putting on nice clothes and makeup to get out the door 🙂
Yep, exercising helps a lot too. It’s all that adrenaline and endorphins at work. But when I hit my low point, exercising alone didn’t do anything for me, well except make me feel tired and maybe a wee bit more fit LOL, needed something else more confidence boosting on an everyday basis which is where dressing up came in handy 🙂
YES! Great post! OMG! I cannot stress the importance of this. At one point of time, I was feeling rather low as well and was dressed to suit my mood, naturally.
But you know what? Dressing well automatically boosts one’s confidence. I’ve lost count of the number of times that I made an effort to dress well and lo-and-behold, I was pulled in at the very last moment to present to senior management or to the board of directors. Being a minion, I have no visibility on when these meetings are held. I’m only told usually on the day itself if I’m required to pop by for 15-30minutes to give a project update. Each time I come out of the meeting, I go,”THANK GOD I DRESSED WELL!” And a pair of high heels help this midget stands a little taller in the room.
It shouldn’t reflect on the quality of work you’re doing (because one should always be delivering excellent work, amirite?) but it helps you set your mind to it, I personally feel.
It’s quite magical isn’t it? I don’t get that last minute thing, but sometimes yes, I have to sit in in meetings or meet someone unexpectedly, and I always heave a mental sigh of relief that I’m like a boy scout – always prepared, so I don’t face them looking like a slob and therefore unprofessional 😉 And because humans are visual creatures, I feel that people feel more comfortable dealing with you too when you’re dressed well 🙂
I’ve got to give this a shot! 🙂
Usually when I’m feeling down and low, I couldn’t even be bothered with dressing up or putting on any makeup. My remedy is exercising. So I’d just hit the gym, work up a sweat and as soon as the endorphins start pumping, I’m all good. 😀
By the way, did I miss your review of the Hourglass blush palette (as seen in the photos 😉 )? Been thinking about that palette for the longest time ever.
For me, exercise made me feel better but only temporarily. The next morning, when I get up for work and don’t feel like facing the world, I couldn’t well just keep exercising till I do LOL Ok actually I suppose I could which would have made me fitter. But this tip is more of a day to day thing when going out to face the world. I find dressing up a little helps give a little boost to your day 🙂 p/s I chose not to review the Hourglass blush palette – it’s not been made permanent and I only see it on ebay for astronomical prices. If you’re still wondering, and you can get it at retail, then yes, get it. Stop thinking! LOL 😀 It’s absolutely lovely.
Ever the over-thinker… LOL.
That’s it! It shall be in my cart on the next Sephora sale.
Wearing makeup makes heads turn. Tried, tested and proven. Somehow, people would just stop and give you a second (sometimes third) look. I’m not really a makeup person. Just like to shop and collect the cute and pretty ones, but that’s about it.
On bad days, I still make an effort to dress up properly. It’s not for others but myself. Doesn’t lift up my mood instantly though. I’d attribute it to my mindset. Why get through a day being unhappy when you can do the same with a smile on your face? I’ve learnt to vent (and curse, hehe) and get over it. There are many things that are beyond my control, where humans are concerned. Pointless to affect my health and mood negatively over some insignificant humans. I’d rather channel those energies to somewhere else where I could reap rewards.
Having furkids help to keep my emotions in check too. Nothing beats going home to a bunch of beautiful yet naughty furkids. They never failed to make me laugh. New things every now and then.
I think it’s to do with the fact that humans are visual creatures and I suppose we’re all programmed to appreciate beauty and pretty things 🙂 Also, perhaps it’s because (locally anyway) people don’t take as much trouble to put on some makeup, that when we do, it stands out. Doesn’t even have to be that noticeable, but hey, it makes us feel good right? 😉 And you’re right about dressing up for yourself. It’s not magic but I find that when I dress a little better, it does make me feel better – like I took some trouble and am going to enjoy it no matter what people say or do. Better still if I rub their noses in it by looking good when they think they’ve got you down 🙂
Pets certainly are wonderful stress relievers. I don’t own any because I’m just not a pet sort of person but when I get super stressed, I go and hug my baby nephew. Works the same 😀
According to my male friend who stayed in HK and Japan for some time, generally, ladies are well groomed. It’s like almost every girl on the street is well groomed and uh, doll up but not in an excessive manner.
The clothes part. Haha. I like to do it sometimes to spite some people. Hehe. Well, since I’ve got what it takes, I have all the rights to flaunt it whenever I deem suitable and appropriate.
Kids. They are cute but can be very noisy. My furkids are cute but very cheeky. I spend at least an hour daily (on weekdays) to play and talk with them. Instant stress reliever. Sometimes, it’s better than talking to some humans. I’m serious about it.
Having spent the CNY break with the little ones, yes, they can be horrendous! But the great thing is that when they’re in a good mood, I play with them, hug them, relieve my stress and when the noise starts, hand them back to the parents and beat a hasty retreat LOL! I unfortunately have no space, nor patience for pets although I know what great stress relievers they can be 😀
Wow reading this and other readers’ comments, now I am feeling the need to wear make-up to work :p
I’m not really a make-up person..(erk, then why am I an avid MWS follower?)
Ok, i dont wear make-up, besides the usual powder foundation and lip balm/gloss is because I dont really know how too!
I’m in my 30s so i think its a good time to start now..hehe
A good motivator you are!
there’s so many youtube tutorials out there now. pick a few you love and practice every day and you’ll improve in no time! i was clueless two years ago and now i’m always getting compliments on my makeup and i started my own blog at the encouragement of my friends. you can do it if you want to!
Haha I’m glad you’re reading MWS anyway although you don’t wear makeup, Sasha 😀 Don’t do it all at once, but practice is key to makeup. I often cringe when I see some old photos of my early attempts (I only started wearing makeup when I started working so my mistakes were there for the world to see! Cripes!) As for learning, Joy has a good point – Youtube has loads of tutorials but if you aren’t looking for anything too dramatic (I find Youtube can be overwhelming) then just start simple. For eyeshadow, kick off with a crayon eyeshadow like something from Laura Mercier – simple to use and effective. If that suits your needs, that’s all you’ll need! Eyeliner will take practice as will mascara (in fact I’ve ditched wearing mascara 😛 ) and believe me when I say that blush makes a whole world of difference to the complexion. That’s why it’s my favourite makeup item next to lipstick 😀 Oh and brows – groom them well if you have naturally thick brows and learn to pencil them in if you don’t – even if you don’t wear eye makeup, it’ll make a world of difference 🙂
at the risk of sounding like a devil’s advocate, what happens if you feel worse because you’re all dressed up and have no where to go? 😛
i am, however, a big fan of forcing myself to use makeup when i’m feeling low. once i manage to get started, usually playing with all the pretty colors in my stash makes me feel much better. it’s like painting but less mess to clean up afterwards!
Haha I get your point Joy, but this tip will, I suppose, apply most to those who already have to go out all the time which means working people, or anyone who has to get out of the house. Otherwise, I’m usually wallowing in self pity in my PJs all day LOL 😉 I never really appreciated having makeup on till that episode when I realised that hey, I didn’t have to look frumpy all the time! It’s a great boost to the ego knowing you can make yourself look good and as you said, it’s like painting and if you make a mistake, well it’s just makeup! 😉
I’ve been sick all week and and dressing up is the very last thing on my mind but I have not given up on wearing lipstick – til death do us part!
Sick zombie lips need lipstick more than ever.
I know the drill but I doubt I’ll be able to pull the rest of my act together until I’ve out-battled this horrible flu.
Aww I’m sorry to hear you’re sick and I hope you get better soon. So many people I know are fighting bugs and viruses and with CNY just around the corner, it isn’t fun 🙁 But you’re right, when I’m sick, I barely dress up or even put on makeup. I just do the bare minimum. So this feeling low tip would be for someone who’s feeling emotionally lost or low, not physically 🙂 When I’m ill, I barely have lipstick on! If I’m going to be sick and still dragged out of bed, I’ll make sure the world knows LOL 😉 Get well soon my dear.
LOL I only do only thing when I feel like crap. Shower, grab a box of cookies, go for a run and park my ass on the sofa for some quality time with the tv or cat. I’m such a lazy ass then 😀
Haha if I did that every time, Phil. I’d be a blob filled with cookies 😀 Ok, that’s coz I don’t run 😛
I absolutely agree with your post and also with all those who mentioned that exercise works. In fact, nothing works better to drag me out of the dumps than my dance classes. Working up a sweat get the body going physically while I think that putting an effort into dressing up works psychologically – you look good, you feel good.
As for having the blues (or greys), it’s seriously no fun when you’re going through it but I’ve learn to accept it as phases in life and that these phases will pass. In fact, I would say I’m grateful for these not-so-nice periods in my life because, having overcome them, I feel some kind of personal triumph. I’ve also learned a lot about myself when I contemplate those times in hindsight and I also learned to appreciate the brighter moments in life. In a weird sort of way, those down periods actually functioned as a reboot process for me.
Ooh dance! And music does sooth the savage beast right? 🙂 You are right about treating the blues or the 50 shades of grey as a life phase. While we may think we’d never get over it, the truth is that with a bit of effort and awareness, we can. And we will emerge stronger on the other side. But often, in the lowest throes of our despair, is when the future looks most bleak 🙂 Oh and I love how you call it a reboot. For me, it has been as well. A reboot in every sector of my life. Who said there’s no restart button right? 😉
Oh dear Paris, easier said than done, when it comes to me. 🙁 It’s an uphill task for me to even convince myself to fix my hair when I’m lying around moping.
And let’s not get started on the time of the month when all I feel like doing is staying in bed, reading tragedies and crying over the sad lives of heroines that don’t even exist. Crazy breakouts and extra greasy skin make it even worse.
How do I convince myself to dress better for work/classes when it’s hard to push myself out the door and into the car? Sigh. I shall always wonder. 😉
You know Rage, I know it’s easy for me to say this but having gone through that “Why bother? Why dress better? Why even leave the house at all?!” phase, it takes a LOT of self control and effort to push me out of my comfort zone. Once you get the momentum going, it gets easier over time and you actually end up feeling better about yourself 🙂 Give it a go! But I know what you mean about that dreaded time of the month. Boy, can it be a challenge or what?!
Nevertheless I do wholeheartedly agree to your point. It’s the effort that counts. If people like me can push themselves enough to add more spring to their outlook at their very worst, I’d say they are the ones who are bullet-proof in my eyes. 🙂
“Bullet-proof” I love that statement! 😀
I completely agree with all that you have said, I also think its important to hang out with those who are close to you & who understand you, when you are upset or depressed. Being alone can make you spiral more into depression!!
Great tips Paris, loved reading it!
Thank you Lana, I’m glad you enjoyed it and I agree with you too! I’ve learned over the years that it doesn’t matter if you have 200 friends, it’s when you need that one friend to hear you out or drag you out of your doldrums that matters 🙂 So yes, it’s important to have people around!
This is such an awesome post…as always without a doubt. Thank you Paris! You hit every nail on the head and mine too lol. I’m with you from A to Z of this super lovely and wonderful post. Words cannot describe my elation when I read this post, word by word, sentence by sentence, point by point. They’re so so true and meaningful. When reading this post, it was as if you and I were having tea and scones and reflect on our life experiences!
I was down and out a few years ago. True enough, I was a piece of walking wreck. I lost enough weight to be able to look a lot better when I eventually snap put of it. But before that wake up call came, people were speculating about my condition – from mental condition to terminally ill. It wasn’t till a lot later when on the verge of losing everything from job to friends to family that I snapped out of it. I got back into a healthy routine including reading an drawing inspiration from MWS! New clothes, proper skincare and light makeup certainly swing me back into the grooves. In any case, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger and tough times don’t last, tough people does 🙂
Glad you too have managed to pick yourself up and carry on, Jennifer 🙂 I’m sorry to hear you went through such a rough spot in your life, but as you said, tough people survive the tough times! And yeah! We’re survivors, all of us 😀
Oh my goodness, yes! What a confidence builder a well-put outfit and taking the time to put on some makeup is. I seldom wear heels and am usually traipsing around in flats but when I do put on a pair of heels, the fact that it forces me to stand a little straighter already makes so much difference. Pop on a bright lip and suddenly, my shitty mood changes.
Haha yes to having to stand straighter in heels! Plus, despite how bad they really are for our backs, it’s wonderful isn’t it, how most of us look when we wear heels? It’s like we have longer legs (and really, who doesn’t feel good when we see longer legs?!)
You know, lately I’ve been having some health issues and I didn’t realize that I was sleeping well due to school, so in the end I stopped wearing makeup when running late, I even went a full week barefaced. However I started feeling more crappy.
Now (after I read this) I’m wearing makeup again and you’re right I feel a lot better when I think I look, can I say pretty?
Hope you’re nailing it PB
So sorry to hear you’d been having health issues, Efrain! I hope that has passed and that you’re sleeping better now. Goodness knows, I know how sleeping poorly can affect you – I’m a prime example!
So true! Thanks for posting this. I find that dressing better and looking better makes me more confident, and makes me feel better too. I try to buy clothing that is both comfortable and flattering, but I tend to compromise too often when I buy clothing. Perfume also helps my mood – putting on a favorite fragrance can be so comforting.
That BV clutch is gorgeous! I love the LV bag too.
Eyeliner is really key for eye definition, isn’t it! Just eyeshadow isn’t enough for me. And a bright lipstick also cheers me up.
Thanks for reminding me to wear my blazers – they do make me look more pulled together but I’ve been neglecting them lately.
So true about accessories! A scarf can be a nice accent. I find that I forget about my jewelry if I don’t have it out – do you have any solutions for that? I am thinking of getting a hanging sheet of pockets, but it’s just not very pretty.
On a slight tangent, I found this post interesting for breaking the low mood cycle: http://captainawkward.com/2014/06/29/guest-post/
Thanks for the link to the post, Kuri 😀 And I’m glad you agree too about dressing up helping your mood 😀 I actually don’t keep my jewellery in view which has a little to do with paranoia as well as dust. So I keep mine in a drawer but make an effort to turn it into a routine to put on at least 1 item, which sometimes leads to 2 or 3. I totally get you about the hanging pockets not looking too pretty but have you considered getting something like a pretty mug tree to hold your jewellery like necklaces, bracelets or rings? Or maybe a pretty cut glass jar with a cover for smaller items like earrings? I’ve seen some very pretty ideas online 🙂
Heh, I understand the paranoia.
I was hoping to have all my jewelry in sight so nothing would get overlooked, but I guess that’s not practical is it? A rotation scheme like with my makeup would probably be more sensible. I’ll do some research online. The trouble with mugs and things is that they get dusty (I’m lazy), but a jar with a cover would work 🙂
Go for a hair cut. Try some new styles / colour / highlight / perm. It always work. And I also agree with all your points up there. You know, sometimes it\’s important to disguise our depressing feelings esp. in a working environment, whatever your profession. So dressing up smart & pretty surely helps!
Listening to upbeat music (currently loving Meghan Trainor), wear special sexy lingerie under all that suit of armour (hey, nobody has to know but you!) 🙂 also work for me. hehe
I love going for a haircut, because here we get lovely head and shoulder massages, right? So I get a free shoulder massage that totally relaxes me haha 😀 Ooh and sexy lingerie – absolutely 100% YES to that 😀
Hey Paris!Yes, I can relate to you totally. Last year, I was hospitalized and as soon as I began to gather up some strength, I became the floor beautycian lolSome ladies didnt know at all about cleaning and caring for their faces, so I educated them. I also provided massages for the eldest and every morning‚ there was a queue of women of all ages AND guys asking me to do their makeup!Everybody told me how terrific they felt being pampered and took the decision to take care of them better. It made me so happy to hear this because all those guys suffered from low self-esteem. Of course‚ what I offered could not cure overnight such deep-rooted issues but it helped feeling some well-being!Thanks Paris for your article xxx
Hi, it’s nice to know that you found a way to lift your spirits after being hospitalised and it’s sweet of you to beautify everyone in the ward! I’m sure they appreciated it too 🙂 I hope you’re feeling better now