Your say: How do you feel about friends buying the same accessories you have?

by Paris B on · 79 comments

in Bags,Discussions,Jewelry,Musings,Shoes

I think there’s something in the psyche of girls or people in general, to want to belong. And when you hang out with people of similar tastes and dressing, some of it is bound to rub off. Not always a bad thing, I can assure you icon smile Your say: How do you feel about friends buying the same accessories you have?

But I wonder how you feel about friends buying the same accessories you have? Not clothes, but accessories e.g. wallets, bags, shoes etc. Do you ever feel like saying “Hang on, that’s my look!”

matchy Your say: How do you feel about friends buying the same accessories you have?

I found this picture on LVMH and this is pretty much an extreme case, I’d say LOL! Its almost scary how similar they all look eh? But assume something less extreme. Assume that its just the clutch that is the same item. Do you feel awkward about friends buying the same thing you have, even in a different colour? Do you feel honoured that someone would want what you have? Or do you not care either way? Curious minds want to know! icon wink Your say: How do you feel about friends buying the same accessories you have?

I recently had a similar sort of experience. I had been eyeing a particular design of a bag for a while. Recently, it went on sale and I wanted to snap it up. However, I also knew that a friend had bought the same design earlier, albeit in a different colour. Truth to tell, I felt a little awkward, because I did not want to be seen to be matchy-matchy.

What I did was check with said friend to see if she minded that I got the same design and she said she didn’t, so I went ahead and got it anyway. I suppose that it helped somewhat that we don’t live in the same country so it was less awkward.   But still, I thought it fair to ask, just in case people minded icon smile Your say: How do you feel about friends buying the same accessories you have?

I know of someone who minds terribly that others buy similar accessories to what she has. She feels like people are trying to copy her look and that it doesn’t make her very unique anymore. So she tends to go for designs that are very eclectic or brands that are not easily available. It works for her.

I personally do not really mind if a friend buys the same accessories I have, especially if I love them. I like people to own something nice that is functional and lovely, and of good quality, which is why I pick it up in the first place; and if it works for someone else too, then by all means go with it! I know I’m not a trendsetter which might explain why I’m more ambivalent about it icon biggrin Your say: How do you feel about friends buying the same accessories you have?

Do you mind though? Does it bug you if your friend buys the same accessories that you have after seeing it on you?

Perhaps it makes you feel a bit like a trendsetter when it happens? icon wink Your say: How do you feel about friends buying the same accessories you have?

Paris B

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[ 79 comments… read them below or join the discussion ]

Lily
Twitter:
November 11, 2012 at 8:41 am

I don’t mind at all when it comes to accessories but i do feel weird when it comes to clothes. In my previous job, my ex colleague would shop at the boutique i went and asked for the exact clothes i bought! I’m hardly fashionable mind you so it did make me feel extremely weirded out.
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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Ooh that is weird. I prefer not to share clothes either. Its cute up to the age of 5 maybe but after that, no go LOL!

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Saphy
Twitter:
November 11, 2012 at 8:51 am

Personally I wouldn’t mind if it was just the accessories, but if it was the full outfit I’d feel that it was too weird, unless she’s my BFF then I wouldn’t mind having a matching outfit together with her just for fun :D!
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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:12 pm

For a one off fun dressing session, it would be fun eh? But yeah, definitely awkward bumping into someone dressed exactly like you o_0

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Mrs Top Monkey November 11, 2012 at 8:54 am

Yes I would feel terribly weird if I knew my friend owned the very same Chanel bag I own. ;P

Bags, not really.. after all, so many people are carrying the same LV/Gucci bag. Jewellery, no.. because there are so many ways to style them. But clothes, yes. Unless say… I’m wearing jeans and a tee and so are you. Hehe.

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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Hmm you’re right. Shouldn’t have made that call :P I am less fussy about bags too because as you say, so many people are carrying the same ones, but I had to see if it bothered my friend ;)

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Shleesy November 11, 2012 at 9:03 am

I wouldn’t mind and in fact would recommend it to my friends if I think it suits them. But then again, this also remind me of an ex-colleague who used to copy me right down to the wristlet I used during lunch time. Me no fashionista either but to have other colleague mistake us from the back is just creepy.

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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Oh wow, to be mistaken just from dressing/accessories is creepy because I feel that that is a look we have. So someone else having a similar look does make it a bit awkward.

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Raquel M. November 11, 2012 at 9:05 am

Well, when I was a pre-teen it pissed the hell out of me. But mainly because the girl who did it wasn’t really that much of a friend and she did do it to copy me and irritate me so… doesn’t really count!
Now I don’t have that problem because me and my friends from college have completely different style, all four of us have four different styles and kinds of taste… But I guess I wouldn’t mind a friend having a similar accessory… It’d sure be awkward if it was the same one though and we wore it on the same day I guess… I do like to state my uniqueness! But also I usually like very excentric things too so… I don’t have that much of a problem in that area!

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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Sometimes, I never know if I should be honoured that someone wants to copy me or pissed haha… I guess as you say, so long as you aren’t all wearing the same thing on the same day, it doesn’t really matter unless it is terribly unique

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Becca
Twitter:
November 11, 2012 at 9:11 am

I don’t mind as long as it doesn’t become a habit. I know a girl who does it all. the. time. and it drives me *bonkers*. The thing that bothers me most though is that she doesn’t even acknowledge that she does it. She completely pretends that she thought of buying “it”–whatever “it” happens to be that time–all on her own. Once or twice could’ve been a coincidence, but honestly it’s happened so many times now that she cannot possibly expect me to believe she didn’t know. The first few times were things like shoes and jeans and sweaters. Ok–whatever. But then when it REALLY started to bug me was when it turned to fragrance. I know it sounds silly, but to me fragrance is a very personal thing. I started wearing a specific perfume a few years back and it became my “signature” scent. She asked me one day what it was and I showed her the bottle so she could take a sniff. She bought it that week and started wearing it every day, telling everyone it was her new scent and wasn’t it great. She never mentioned that I was the one who told her about it, never asked me, never thanked me, nothing. Is it weird that I’m strangely protective when it comes to my fragrance? I don’t want to smell exactly like someone I’m around so much–I want to have my “own” scent (yes I realize there are thousands of girls out there with the same fragrance, but not in my circle). So I ended up changing my scent. Anyway, point is I think every ONCE IN A WHILE is okay but when you do it too often, it gets under my skin. Okay, rant over. :P haha
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Laura November 11, 2012 at 10:06 am

I’m somewhat surprised to hear that she copied your scent. I suppose anything that she copies can be considered a poor imitation of your individuality, but scents usually vary so much on different people that it would never cross my mind to copy someone else’s. Sorry to hear that she does this, but imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right? :)

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Becca
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:20 pm

LOL yeah I try to breath and tell myself that :P haha
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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Ugh! Scent! Scent is such a personal thing and as you said, signature scents even more so. I think when people start copying your scent, there’s something really creepy going on. Its like they want to be you or something eeps!

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Becca
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Hahaha, right?! Arrghhhh :P
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Sze Ling November 11, 2012 at 9:30 am

I don’t mind, really. Even if it’s bags, accessories or clothes. :D I’m not THAT fashion forward anyways, so it’s unlikely that anyone would purposely want to “copy” me. LOL.

But, what would really weird me out is if the person is obviously matching every.single.thing I have down to the T. Then that’s just too much.
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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Haha that’s how I feel – I’m not all that fashionable so when people ask where I get something, I feel a little honoured that they even noticed :P

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Laura November 11, 2012 at 10:10 am

I think the concept of originality is very very strong in the states, so it would be frowned upon to copy or be copied (maybe it’s just my mindset?). Quite honestly, I do think that I would be bothered a bit. On the one hand, I can understand copying something for the sake of functionality and all that, but at the same time, if I am consciously buying things for their aesthetics as much as I am their function, I would be a bit miffed that someone would copy me, if for no reason other than the fact that I did all the hard work! I feel similarly awkward about copying others for the same reason. At the end of the day, I would seek to find other options, but would probably end up doing the same as you, Paris, and asking for permission if my heart just couldn’t let it go.

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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Ah Laura, I know what you mean! You did all the legwork finding that exquisite accessory then someone else comes along and just buys it because they saw it on you :P I sometimes come across items that I might have seen on a friend before and I often consciously avoid buying anything too similar unless I ask and they don’t mind, or unless I wasn’t aware in which case, its a free market! ;)

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Rae // theNotice
Twitter:
November 11, 2012 at 10:20 am

Hmmm. I think it depends, for me — one or two items isn’t a big deal, but any more than that and it just gets kind of… creepy, you know? I think originality is a bit of a farce, so those aspects never get to me, but I think it’d be a bit strange to have your “friend” clothes-stalking you! :P
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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Clothes-stalking! LOL You’re right. Once or twice is fine, but if you start seeing yourself mirrored in the way they dress, I think that’s definitely cause for worry… or you’re a fashion blogger :P

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Rae // theNotice
Twitter:
November 15, 2012 at 2:58 am

LOL, or that!! :P
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Hanny Daforcena
Twitter:
November 11, 2012 at 10:32 am

Usually, my friends hardly wear the same accessories as I do because my tastes are so weird!! I have animal-inspired knick knacks, so much so that I can have a whole zoo! So if they would have the same ones as I do, I’d be slightly happier because by then I won’t be the odd one out.
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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:22 pm

LOL Not weird, eclectic ;) Sometimes, its easier for people to conform to the norm than to stand out and it sounds like you’d be the stand out ;)

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Catherine November 11, 2012 at 10:37 am

I had a friend who was being literally copied, clothes, accessories even haircut… I know how it upset her so I can understand it.
On the other hand if its my ‘bestie’ and once or twice she wants something like me but in different colour- sure. But regularly-no.

I have to say that Im so tempted by anything thats hard to get or personalised. Once I almost ordered custom made Fendi with my initials… That would be big mistake :P I spend a lot of money on bags and shoes and it makes me feel happy when I have something special…

I like my speedy in damier ebene, but there are many girls with these (fakes or real) that it doesnt make me feel special. When I go out with my empreinte bag, I usually dont see any others carrying so it feels more unique (until someone gives jealous stare- then I feel guilty).

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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Oh my, your friend’s experience sounds pretty scary. I mean, haircuts?! I like something a little more unusual too and I think that’s why like you, whilst I love my little Speedy I rarely take her out because its so common now. I’m leaning towards picking up something in Empreinte for this very reason. I just need to find a design I like >.<

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Jennifer November 11, 2012 at 10:51 am

I think it is ok if my friends bought the same item as I did. If we’re seen using the same item at an event, then it might be a little awkward or it will be a conversation topic even (the design, colour etc) :) Sometimes when I see colleagues in pretty dresses which I never have such luck to find, I will ask where they bought it from but I will always say “Only if you don’t mind sharing” just in case some people do mind. Admittedly it might sound rude or blunt of me, but I find that most people will reply in a jiffy without feeling awkward. Some even blurt out the price and fabulous discount they got for the item!

It’s nice to be unique but sharing is also caring :) Ultimately if a person is elegant, her choice and taste will always be unique.

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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:25 pm

People are always secretly pleased that anyone noticed what they’re wearing or carrying. Makes us feel special right? For myself, I stick to classics so that pretty much means I’m a boring dresser and so less likely to be copied LOL!

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lyn
Twitter:
November 11, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Nah, I can’t be bothered. In fact, I would encourage someone to get a similar accessory if they want to. Because I like it so it’s nice if you like it too. I tend to enable people and it’s fun to spread the love :-)

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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Yes, you are an enabler through and through! ;) I guess I don’t mind as much if its a friend but if its someone I dislike then yeah, it might bother me some…

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Tine
Twitter:
November 11, 2012 at 12:38 pm

I don’t have a problem with friends buying the same bags, accessories or clothes that I do. Great minds think alike, you know. But I do have a problem if it happens often and it becomes a pattern.

A friend of my mum’s followed my mum’s style to the letter. Mum cuts her hair a certain way, the friend would do the same the next week. Bangs for mum, bangs for her. Mum buys a Coach purse, she’ll also buy a similar one. One time Mum bought a frock to wear to a wedding. The next wedding they both went to, the friend had on the exact dress. Creepy much? :P

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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Sounds like your Mom has a fashion stalker! That’s seriously creepy especially hair. Hair and scent are 2 such personal things you’d never think anyone would actually intentionally copy it. And I’m glad you don’t mind people buying the same accessories you do or I’d be in the dog house won’t I? LOL!

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Sam
Twitter:
November 11, 2012 at 1:19 pm

I don’t mind if it’s one or two things, but if it’s everything, then yes it would be terrifically annoying!
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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Also freakishly creepy!

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Jue November 11, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Well in my circle of friends, it doesn’t matter.

It’s a given since we’re all kind of the same. There’s minor differences of course but to a passerby we all look the same.

Fragrance wise, we never wear at the same time.

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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:30 pm

That’s interesting Jue, few people are so comfortable :)

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Ting November 11, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Sigh… Where I live now fashion trend is set by what’s available in the shops today. The girls can get the items cheaply from places like pratunam or the markets. Sometimes it become a ‘uniform’, in my opinion. But people doesn’t seem to care as long as they are seen wearing the latest fashion!

Once I saw a group of young girls with the same fashion (same style of skirt, top and even handbags!!). ALL four of them!!! :s

But for me, I never wear trendy pieces from head to toe so that’s quite all right. Even if my friends buy the same thing we won’t look like identical twins. :) having said that, my friends have their unique tastes and so do I. I prefer classy clothing (yeah boring me!). As long as it fits perfectly and comfortably, look decent then I can go out walking in trendy places like Siam paragon (with some makeup on, obviously). :)

As for accessories, there are so many ways to mix and match. I never copy the trend right down to every detail so I’m safe from being copied. :p

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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Oh yes, being a slave to fashion trends can be like that. I do notice that women in Bangkok dress very well generally, no matter who they are and no matter their age. Its actually very nice, although not so nice when they all look the same as you described! Pratunam fashion too features here in KL so sometimes, I see something on someone and I just know they were just in Bangkok LOL! I think trends are one of the most dangerous things to follow. Its so easy to be too slavish about it and mixing and matching is a great way to show off your own style!

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Ting November 14, 2012 at 10:29 pm

The Thais wear more makeup (in general) than Malaysian gals. :) In Thai soap operas, the bad characters (i.e. mean mother-in-law, jealous co-worker etc) ALWAYS wear a red lipstick and thicker eye makeup than the innocent ones. It’s a stereotype, of course, but a shame really because I think red lipstick is glam. :)

Speaking of Pratunam… it’s like the FIRST place Malaysians go when we come to Bangkok. Sometimes when I am not paying attention I thought I am back in Malaysia (surrounded by the oh-so-familiar accents). :) Really, if I miss being in touch with a Malaysian I just pop by Pratunam for an hour or so. hahaha But luckily I don’t have to be so desperate as I have many guests from Malaysia. :)

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Paris B
Twitter:
November 15, 2012 at 11:15 am

I have noticed that too – that most women in Thailand wear makeup. At least powder and lipstick and blush. Over here, I noticed most women go bare faced. Does it make us more confident I wonder LOL! ;) I have to say I’m just as guilty of traipsing through Pratunam hoping to find some cheap steals. But in my last couple of trips I haven’t because the sizing is so tiny! So I just go there to eat (which means I can’t fit into their clothes anymore can I?! ) Planning my annual BKK trip soon yay!

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Ting November 15, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Hahahaha!! I like your thinking (bare faced = more confident). :) I thought this is now changing as malaysian gals are wearing more makeups nowadays… but good skin for us is the utmost important. Sadly the majority of the Thais here do not possess. That’s why a lot of makeup?? :p

Sizing is UNREASONABLE!! You can find XXS which fits a small baby than an adult, really! Don’t get intimidated by the sizing. Some girls are just malnutrition… hahahahaha!

So when’s your trip here? May I have the honour to take you for coffee & yummy cake (Thai made, of course)? :)

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Paris B
Twitter:
November 20, 2012 at 2:15 pm

I have noticed more Malaysian women wearing makeup which I think is great. We are amongst the least bothered in SEA I think :P And it would be fun to catch you in Bangkok when I go. Still a WIP :P

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Shija November 11, 2012 at 6:08 pm

I dont mind at all.. (i guess thats mean I got good eye or good taste right?)

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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 6:34 pm

That’s one way to look at it, since people want to have what you have :D

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Wojis November 11, 2012 at 6:54 pm

I don’t mind at all, I think it’s fun to talk about it and review it together. Makes it more fun and it’s great to share the same taste in clothes or other fashion items.

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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 9:38 pm

It is definitely fun talking fashion with people who have the same tastes. I think generally friends won’t mind sharing some accessories but not too matching.

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Marla November 11, 2012 at 8:45 pm

I think it would only feel strange to me if we were both wearing the same item at the same time. Other than that, no biggy.

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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 9:38 pm

It might even be funny eh? ;)

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Sunny
Twitter:
November 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

I’m weirdly relaxed about this! I mean let’s face it, I can’t have everything (or anything for that matter) custom-made or something, so if I can find something other people can as well. Even if it’s the same thing I’m sure everyone will wear it differently, so it’s not a problem. Would I be a bit fussed if I saw someone wearing the same dress? Yeah. Would I be upset if I knew my friend went ahead and bought the same thing? No.
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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 10:03 pm

In this mass market world, there’s little room for custom made goods so I agree, I probably don’t mind my friends having th same accessories but then, as many have also said, it will depend on who too ;)

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Ren November 11, 2012 at 11:37 pm

I don’t mind in fact I think its something fun when they get the same stuff as I do, as long as it doesn’t become a habit. It does become a problem if that person starts to dress as I do.

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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Freaky too!

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BebeTaian November 12, 2012 at 2:35 am

Hello from BwB! <3 Now I have a new blog to add to my list.

My one female friend and I have very different styles, so it isn't really something I've had to think about. I'm more likely to have to figure out which male friend borrowed my t-shirt (or does he have the same one, in the same size?) than whether or not my female friend is too similar.

There is one shirt that we've traded off with each other over and over again for almost 10 years now, though! A red shirt we both like, which has some stretch to it so it fits both of us easily, has been worn by either one of us for six months at a time for nearly a decade. ::laughs:: Makeup is the only other thing we trade off on, but not in style, only in colour. I'm more likely to try and vet indie brands, while she tries major lines in stores.

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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Hi there! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It sounds like you and your friend have a good thing going, and a shirt that’s lasted 10 years! Wow!

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Juanneth November 12, 2012 at 3:22 am

Back in my uni days,I always get that insecure feelings every time I bought something. I extremely hate it whenever people get noticed,and asked where I bought it,how much, and on the next day,I spotted the exact piece literally multiply by mitosis – and they walked towards me,and have some nerve to tell me,”Beautiful,isnt it?” after underestimated me for being tasteless,just before they asked the price and so on. Wish I could shoot them. Bang! Bang! However,on my final year,some of them told me that they are always talking about me,and keep an eye on my latest findings to imitate me (quite scary tell ya). Should I be proud and trust ‘Imitation is the sincerest form of flattering’ or should I be *secretly* annoyed,I am confused. Nevertheless,I dont really mind if she didnt has a foul mouth.

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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 10:14 pm

I suppose it’s a form of flattery, but I can imagine how irritating and unnerving it can be too especially in uni. I think most of us would be pleased to have our accessories or iced, unless we dont like the person, then we’d mind terribly.

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xiao
Twitter:
November 12, 2012 at 6:54 am

In my case, it depends how good of a friend you are with me :P Otherwise, I don’t like wearing the same anything with anyone else. Luckily, my best friend and I have drastically different tastes.
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Paris B
Twitter:
November 14, 2012 at 10:18 pm

It’s probably why you’re best friends :) I prefer not to too so if I know a friend has a similar accessory I sometimes don’t wear it if I know I’m meeting them :P

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