• Bloglovin
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • RSS
  • Twitter
My Women Stuff
  • About Me
  • Contact Me
    • For PR
  • Budget Beauty »
    • Save & Splurge
  • Makeup »
    • Eyes »
      • Brow pencil
      • Mascara
      • Eyeshadow
      • Eyeliner
    • Face »
      • BB Cream
      • Blush
      • Bronzer
      • CC Cream
      • Concealer
      • Foundation »
        • Cream Foundation
        • Liquid Foundation
        • Cushion Foundation
      • Highlighter
      • Loose Powder
    • Lips »
      • Lip Gloss
      • Lipstick
      • Lipbalm
    • Makeup Brushes
  • Skincare »
    • Cleanser »
      • Cleansing Balm
      • Cleansing Cream
      • Cleansing Gel
      • Cleansing Milk
      • Cleansing Oil
      • Cleansing Water
      • Makeup Remover
    • Mask
    • Moisturiser
    • Scrubs
    • Serum »
      • Vitamin C
      • Retinol
    • Sunscreen
    • Toner/Lotion
    • Treatment »
      • Acne
      • Anti-Aging
      • Brightening/Whitening
      • Hydrating
    • Bath & Body »
      • Body Lotion
      • Body oil
      • Hair
      • Shower Gel
    • Facial Oils
  • Tips »
    • Tips & Discussions
    • Blogging Tips
  • Lifestyle »
    • Cooking at Chez PB
    • Beauty Services »
      • Hair Salon
      • Facial
      • Spa
    • Fashion »
      • Bags
      • Jewellery
      • Shoes
    • Home
  • Brands
  • Product Reviews
    • Beauty hor d’oeuvres
Home » Interesting Discussions » Pick your causes – You cannot care about everything so care about what matters

Pick your causes – You cannot care about everything so care about what matters

June 5, 2020 Paris B 7 Comments

Much has been happening in the world lately. It’s almost as if the events of the past few years have been slowly boiling over, and we’ve now reached a tipping point of humanity. The point where we either move forward with different, hopefully better and renewed purpose and principles in life, or we retreat behind walls in fear and loathing.

The thing is this. Much is happening. A. LOT.

pick your causes

We had the medical virus that spread like wildfire throughout the world, resulting in many countries going into lockdown and quarantine.

We had political viruses take root in our local politics, unseating a democratically voted Government, purely for selfish illusions of grandeur, not for the betterment of the country or its people.

We’ve had international politics grip us at every turn – India, China, USA, UK – just to name a few.

And then, we’ve had the riots begin in the USA, sparking off a race debate globally.

And all that’s only the tip of the iceberg. There’s immigration, police brutality, migrant workers, plastic straws, the list is endless.

There is much to take in. But I have just one thing to say – pick your causes. You cannot care about everything and you should not expect EVERYONE to care about EVERYTHING, and especially not so on social media.

The reality is this. There is only so much one person can take in, and feel passionately about. If we are to care passionately about every bit of news that reaches us, every cause, every issue, we will only do our heads in.

If we don’t go stir-crazy trying to care about it all, we might end up in a worse situation – being apathetic.

Talk show host Hasan Minhaj described this very aptly, as “Compassion fatigue” – caring too much about everything, resulting in a reduction of your capacity for compassion.

It is my conviction that being apathetic to issues and causes is far far worse than having an opinion or conviction either way. It is the same way I feel frustrated when people shrug at me when we discuss local politics, and say “Well, what can we do?”

Yes indeed. What can we do? We can make noise. We can call out wrongful acts by leaders. We can stay angry, and take that anger to the ballot boxes. That’s what we can do. Not wallow in apathy and self-pity.

This is true also of all the other causes in the world today. Having an opinion and giving an issue some thought means you may be open to other ideas and convictions. Being apathetic means you don’t care whatever happens. That doesn’t bode well for any cause.

orchids

I am acutely aware that much of our opinions and convictions are shaped by our own personal experiences, interactions and reading material. We have brains, and we can think for ourselves. Or we should.

In fact, we MUST think for ourselves, without simply being reactive to every situation.

I do not downplay the racial issues happening worldwide. As a minority race in my own country, and having lived as a minority abroad, I have experienced discrimination at many times in my life. Does it shape the way I think, how I view issues?

Yes it does.

Does it mean I have to voice it all out on social media, because I have a platform and a following to speak to? Well, yes and no.

Yes, if you feel sufficiently strongly about an issue or cause, and are able to articulate it in a clear enough manner. Then, speak out, because you may be able to make a change, on your platform. Is it something that affects you? Speak out. But shut out the world, because someone somewhere will disagree with your view.

No, if you’re merely playing to the gallery. If you speak out for the sake of speaking out, but not believe in what you say. If you are just speaking out because “it is expected”, or because it’s a “trending and trendy issue” but don’t intend to change how you do things or think, then you’re better off not saying anything.

I personally feel that many people are doing the latter. There is too much reaction online simply because of expectations. I have seen many people being called out for not taking a stand, or not making a statement about current issues, when it is at its peak.

I’ve seen so many people dismissed simply because they hold a different political/social view/conviction. Social media is a space where anyone and everyone can speak up. It is a place for all opinions and ideas, even if it does not line up with your own.

If you follow someone because they post a lot about dogs and cats, are they expected to provide you social or political commentary too? Must they take a stand that lines up with yours? Does it make you enjoy their account any less if they don’t say anything, just post about their dogs and cats? Transpose this to any other niche social media accounts, and the question is the same.

sherlock paris b beagle

You follow someone online for a reason. Sometimes, it is because they offer an alternate view, or a different opinion on how things should be. Sometimes, it is because they are interesting. Sometimes, it’s because you like how cute their dog or cat looks. But it isn’t realistic to expect everyone to line up with your ideals. That’s called living in an echo chamber, and it isn’t healthy either.

My question is this – Why do we expect online personalities to make a stand about every issue that crops up? When they do make a stand or statement, and people disagree, there is a uproar of dissent and a call to ‘cancel’ this person.

There is too much unrealistic pressure placed on someone who might just be a pretty face, or who might be knowledgeable about certain subjects but not others. People have a tendency to place others on a pedestal – monarchs, politicians, celebrities, influencers – and expect them to behave as a perfect, balanced person, who offers an opinion on every issue, that placates and is palatable to everyone.

The truth is, everyone’s just human, with their own experiences, prejudices, opinions and interactions. All these shapes who they are, and when such expectations are placed on people and companies, what we get is a reactionary response.

An example is the posting of the black squares on Instagram a few days ago, ostensibly in solidarity with the people of colour. Yet, what did it do? In my view, nothing.

It isn’t just me who says so. So many other people of colour have called it out as being a stunt that does nothing for their cause. It simply makes the poster feel good about themselves for “doing something” when they did nothing at all, but post a picture of a black square.

The next day, companies go back to promoting their products. Influencers go back to posting a selfie or an aspirational lifestyle photo. Everyone retreats back to their bubble, patting themselves on the back for having “taken a stand”. Yet, they haven’t done a thing to help the cause.

All I have to say here is this – don’t expect others to live up to your own ideals. You will be disappointed.

We do what we can. Not everything we do needs to be shouted about in public. Not everything out there is an issue we need to have a ‘hot take’ on. Not everyone with a differing opinion as you must be ‘cancelled’.

We cope how we can. We look after ourselves first. We take the time we need to understand issues and events, and if we have an opinion, we share it. If it’s an unpopular opinion (as I believe mine is here), we listen to those who detract from our view, and we walk away if we don’t want to quarrel about it. Call me a name however, and I’ll smack you 🙂

Life isn’t a competition about who’s doing more or who’s doing better. We stay abreast of the news. We keep our ear to the ground. We read and we try to understand what’s happening. But we choose our causes to be vocal about, so we don’t get overwhelmed.

When I watched the last episode of 2019 of Hasan Minhaj’s Netflix talkshow Patriot Act, he said something that struck a chord with me, and allowed me to deal with the chaos that 2020 has wrought.

He said, in not so many words that being bombarded with news and issues all the time, it is as if we have “50 tabs open in our mental browsers all the time”. Like any browser, we will crash, if you don’t do something about it.

His suggestion was to shut down some of the open tabs.

I call it “Pick your causes”. That’s how I’ve been rolling since the year began. Some issues will keep me engaged and vocal. Others, I’m engaged, but not vocal because I don’t understand it, or cannot relate and therefore would rather not engage.

I keep my ear to the ground, I read, I talk to people, I listen and I try to understand. But I choose what I want to delve into so I don’t end up with “Compassion fatigue”.

Whether as a consumer, or as an online creator or business, I think everyone could benefit from this pause because saying something online. Are you reacting because everyone else is and because you’re expected to, or is it something you want to stand up and talk about?

As for consumers of social media, be realistic. Stop imposing YOUR ideals on someone else. Not everyone owes you YOUR idealism. We all lead different lives, and have different experiences. We are all different, and that makes us all unique.

Some issues affect some people more acutely than others. Just because someone chooses not to discuss it doesn’t mean they don’t care. It could mean they’re trying to understand what’s happening or that they’re overwhelmed and need the time and space to process the information. Perhaps they’re already doing something about it outside the internet in their own community. We are all much more than the sum of our online selves, and anyone who cannot see nor understand that can rightfully unfollow 🙂

So, pick your causes. Just don’t be apathetic. There’s nothing worse than apathy because then, the bad guys win 😉

xoxo

Paris B

Share18
Tweet4
Pin1
23 Shares
7 Insightful comments ... Read or JOIN THE DISCUSSION
Share18
Tweet4
Pin1
23 Shares

YOU MAY FIND THESE THESE POSTS HELPFUL TOO!

About Paris B

Paris B is a 40-something beauty and skincare enthusiast with a practical and very critical view of beauty products and the world of beauty. Her mission on My Women Stuff is to deliver clear, honest reviews and facilitate discussions about beauty trends and life, tempered with a healthy dose of humour. Let the buyer's remorse be ours not yours! When not testing the newest skincare creams and lotions, or playing with makeup, find her testing her culinary skills in the kitchen at Chez PB. Read more about us here or leave a comment below or connect with us on social media at Instagram, Facebook and Twitter!

PREVIOUS POST: 5 Things I Love Vol. 9: The blur that was May
NEXT POST: Skincare Empties I used up during quarantine: 7 I will repurchase and 2 I will not

7 comments ... Read or JOIN THE DISCUSSION

  1. Lexi says

    June 5, 2020 at 2:05 pm

    Thanks Paris for writing this. I too have been overwhelmed this year and especially these last few weeks with all the news and posts on social media. There are many conflicting messages and a pressure of guilt whether people do or don’t do certain things. I think compassion, empathy and acceptance are all qualities we should strive for, but we may not all be caring about it in the same manner. I appreciate your take on this and think that the “pick your causes” approach is a sensible way to tackle these extraordinary times.

    Reply
  2. Anna says

    June 6, 2020 at 3:25 am

    I totally agree. I also believe we do not have to have an opinion about everything, especially not right away. It is ok to take time to think before we share thoughts. I sometimes have the impression everybody expects me to have a set opinion, as soon as a topic arises, but no. And I do not want to. Why is it not ok to say „I don‘t know, there are many aspects and I believe its not just black and white“?

    I very much care about what is going on around me and in the world. But taking small times for a „mental vacation“ is necessary to avoid feeling overwhelmed. So you are right: pick things you can and want to get involved in, don‘t let everything overrun you.
    All of you: take care!

    Reply
    • Yeohua says

      June 6, 2020 at 10:28 am

      Thanks Paris for your thought on what’s happening around the world lately.like U say each one of us have our ways and thoughts.Different people react to things differently.Anyway thanks for your thoughts on the topic sister.god bless U and satay healthy

      Reply
  3. zeezee says

    June 6, 2020 at 9:25 am

    i totally agree with you and am glad you wrote such a sensible commentary about what’s going on around the world now. it pains me to see followers attack instagrammers by asking them to use their platform to address world events. while social media can be a platform, not everyone feels comfortable to voice their thoughts, one way or the other, to the mass public. i’ve also seen other instagrammers who have expressed their thoughts and being attacked as insincere or not having done enough. it’s a lose-lose situation and there’s so much hate going around and trolls are milking the opportunities. yours is finally one of the level-headed pieces i’ve read.

    Reply
  4. E says

    June 6, 2020 at 10:23 am

    I agree with everything you said here esp the part with not everyone owes you your idealism. I find it easier for me to just mute/hide people on my social medias who I do not share the same opinions with. They are entitled to their own views and so do I. What I always try to do when I find a cause or issue that I feel passionately about and empathize with, is to find a verified organization of the said cause, and make a donation. I might not be of much help, but I at least hope my contributions provide some sort of relief.

    Reply
  5. nvie says

    June 6, 2020 at 11:10 am

    We seem to have forgotten Respect, Compassion, Rational and Love.

    I don’t understand the situation, what if all the four policemen in Floyd’s case were the same colour as he is. Would the situation be different? I think so.

    I don’t understand #blacklivesmatters and #supportblackbusiness. To me all lives matter and support all businesses with a good cause. It’s not about the race.

    If we have compassion, think rationally and treat others with dignity and respect, things would be very very different.

    Floyd’s case isn’t about race, it’s about police doing his job and he crossed the border. Anyone who trusted to do his/her job and crossed the border deserves to be punished according to the law.

    In the corporate world, if a CEO is entrusted with the position to lead and grow an organisation, he crossed the border by practising bribery and corruption, he should be punished according to the law.

    Americans protest because it matters to them but what has it got to do with us? Should we go on the streets to protest about what is happening to our local political scene? There are so many local concerns happening now but I don’t see social media influencers or public figures talking about what’s happening to our country?

    Reply
  6. The Empties Diaries says

    June 6, 2020 at 3:47 pm

    A breath of fresh air! Shared your article far and wide because yes on all of the above. Thank you so much for putting into words what I was unable to express.

    Reply

Comment Policy:At MWS we love reading your comments. However, if you are new to leaving comments you may benefit from reading the comment policy first.

What's your view? Share it! Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

My Women Stuff by Paris B

Welcome to My Women Stuff, a beauty blog based in Malaysia, written by veteran blogger, Paris B. What you can expect is honesty, critical views & a healthy dose of shared life lessons sprinkled amongst beauty product reviews. What you shouldn't expect is a page filled with unnecessary narcissistic photos. MWS is a blog for those who love to read, because we love to write! Read More about MWS and Paris B

Subscribe for weekly updates of all published content

BEAUTY & LIFE TIPS

double cleansing necessary

Is double-cleansing necessary in your daily skincare routine?

how sustainable is your skincare routine

How sustainable is your skincare routine?

2022 – Hello World

Instagram @parisbmws – You don’t know what you’re missing

Filorga is now on Shopee and you can get 18% off ( Filorga is now on Shopee and you can get 18% off (code: FILOJUL09) on top of the discounted prices! Any savings is good savings I say esp with all the price hikes everywhere 😟 Until 15 July. 
They just launched the new NCEF Night Mask, an ultra-regenerating sleeping mask that promises to rejuvenate tired skin in just 7 nights! Well That sounds right up my alley! 😮‍💨
I highly recommend the Meso Mask as well for a rejuvenating, hydrating and smoothing boost to the skin. Its a good brand, that I’ve tried in the past and I’m glad we now have it here! 😊
@filorga_sea #filorga_official #filorga #filorgamalaysia #parisbmws #shopeemalaysia
Popped out of my hermitage to visit the amazing Jo Popped out of my hermitage to visit the amazing Jo Malone installation at Mid Valley Megamall 😍 Jo Malone has always made gifting an experience, both for giver and receiver, and this is what their Jobots are here for - to help you find that perfect gift whether for a friend, family, or for yourself each time you manage to dodge the C-bullet 😆
Go check out the Jobots at Mid Valley Megamall Centre Court & experience their signature hand and arm massages, gift boxing, personalised engraving of your perfume bottles & candle jars & play with the vending machine. You could get lucky! 
No prizes for guessing which Jobot installation was my favourite! The one with the dog of course! They also had a key chain with a dog. So. Bloody. Cute!! 
And after so many years finally got a photo with event organizer extraordinaire @cyrus.chin because we didn’t get the white & beige memo and came instead in (unplanned) matching sunny coral instead 😂 
It felt good to have makeup on, dress up and go out for a tiny little bit, and meet people I haven’t seen in literally years! Also to enjoy the scents (hard to smell with a mask on though) and the visual delights. Go check it out. They’re there at the Centre Court until Sunday 3 July. 
#JoMaloneLondon #MYJoMaloneLondon #JoBots #PerfectPresent #parisbmws
✨HELLO✨ Not everyday I wear something decent ✨HELLO✨
Not everyday I wear something decent (I still live in crummy t-shirt, shorts & sweaty athleisure most days) so it merited a photo! 😆 
I put on a full face of makeup today and when it came to my eyeshadow, I had a brain fart moment and forgot where they were! 😂 Looked through 3 drawers before I saw them and even then I thought “Did I ever have THIS MANY?!” I guess I do. And before you ask, yes they’re all expired 🫢
Wrote a bit this week. This is a brand new fave ♥️ www.mywomenstuff.com
Who writes anymore?! 😅
#chanelfragrance #no1dechanel #chanelno1 #chanelleaurouge #welovecoco #leaurouge #chanelbeauty #parisbmws
Sharing some thoughts about this Hydra Concentrate Sharing some thoughts about this Hydra Concentrate Youth Serum from Malaysian brand @holla.face. Head over to the blog www.mywomenstuff.com 😊
#parisbmws #hollaface #hydratingserum #madeinmalaysia #malaysiaskincare #skincareblogger #malaysiaskincareblogger
So I was having a little think about how sustainab So I was having a little think about how sustainable my skincare routine is and wrote something on the blog - www.mywomenstuff.com 
Not to worry. The words “clean” or “green” or “eco” do not feature 😆 Have a read and tell me what you think!
Join over 10500 followers on Instagram

ABOUT ME · CONTACT ME · DISCLAIMER & COPYRIGHT · PRIVACY · ARCHIVES

© Copyright MY WOMEN STUFF 2007 - 2019 · All Rights Reserved