Every year since 2007, when I first started My Women Stuff, I’d looked forward to the beginning of March. Each year brings with it a new revelation, and a new realization about how I wanted to move forward with my blog.
Each year brought optimism and a healthy dose of hope of what was to come, even as Year 12 arrived with a whole host of insecurities.
This year however, in what would be the 13th year of the blog’s existence, I realized that I’d forgotten about this milestone. If it wasn’t due to a fleeting thought that passed through my mind just before I fell asleep a few nights ago, I might have let this slip by.
What has changed?
I’ve lost the desire to consume mindlessly
A few days ago, it came to my knowledge that Hermes has made their range of lipsticks available here in Malaysia (retailing at RM315 if anyone’s interested – it’ll be the most affordable way to flaunt that orange Hermes bag 😛 ).
A few years ago, I would have monitored the release, and hotfooted it down to the counter, the minute I’d heard of their availability. Up to a year ago, I’d have felt that pull, that desire, to take a look and see what was so special about their lipsticks, and I would have shared photos and my brief thoughts on Instagram or the blog. I’d likely have bought one, “for the blog”.
This time however, I let it pass me by. I felt no desire to find out if they might be available in Malaysia. I felt no need to head out to the mall to swatch and feel these new releases. I let it wash over me, and I let it pass me by without even once acknowledging a tug at the heart or purse-strings.
It was at that moment that I realized that I have truly lost the desire to consume mindlessly.
This does not serve as a criticism towards anyone who still enjoys trying and buying new products or things. It merely explains why I felt apathetic towards this new launch and release.
I have been practising conscious spending for a while, and I think it’s all helped to temper my impulses. I haven’t bought any new beauty products online in the past 2 months, and I’ve avoided all the sales and discounts. I’ve realized that I haven’t missed very much at all!
It might simply be because I’m content!
RELATED READING: I’m content where I am. Are you? READ HERE
I feel that there’s too much pressure on consumers to accumulate
In 13 years of blogging, I’ve seen a dramatic and exponential accumulation of things and beauty products. This isn’t only by others, but also by me, and I’ve realized that it’s ridiculous.
I unabashedly love lipsticks and blush, and I find any reason to treat myself to one or the other. But there comes a time when enough is truly enough. When you just have to hit the pause button, and take stock of what you own.
I didn’t enjoy watching other people’s hauls, or tours of their makeup room. I didn’t enjoy seeing piles of product hidden away in drawers in the name of organization. I didn’t enjoy trying to organize my own mess!
I felt, and still feel, that bloggers, Youtubers and now, Instagram, have built up this culture of accumulation. People buy whole makeup collections, just to swatch, so they aren’t left out. People feel the need to own multiple items from every new makeup collection, so they fit in with the perceived norm of what makes a beauty blogger/influencer.
I feel it to be a vicious cycle, and one I intentionally decided to break with a couple of years ago. It was time to say enough is enough.
This is also why I deliberately did not seek to grow the blog and my presence all these years. I cannot justify telling people to consume and to buy, in the way that I should be doing.
I appreciate the products I receive from brands, and the fact that most of them do not place any pressure on me to talk about them. They let me deal with it as I choose, at my own pace, and I value this trust.
I wanted to be able to tell people what I enjoyed using, that they might too. Having access to new releases helped a lot. But I could not justify telling anyone to continuously splurge on luxury beauty products, especially in the current economic climate.
RELATED READING: I recently talked about people going into debt for expensive beauty products and it kills me to know people do such things! READ HERE
For this reason also, I slowed down on my blogging. Part of it was due to time, the other was due to my need to balance out the pushing of product and other more contemplative, discussive posts about life and everything else in between.
Is it the right time to retire from blogging?
To be honest, the thought of retirement did cross my mind.
I even said I should be handing over my beauty blogger badge, for not bothering about the new Hermes Rouge lipstick launch 😛
But I just know I couldn’t. Not because I want to cling on to any form of perceived self-worth. It’s because I can’t keep an opinion to myself LOL! 😛 I will eventually need an outlet, and social media is never the right place.
What I have thought about as well, is about representation.
While a hot topic overseas, it hasn’t been made an issue locally. The fact is that the beauty industry will always be dominated by the young and the beautiful. There is nothing that can be bottled, that will equate to the vitality, energy and radiance of youth.
Those of us who can but wistfully look back at this time of our lives, have other, different concerns. We have lives to lead, careers to build, skin dryness to battle, grey hair to intimidate us, and that ever expanding waistline that creeps up on you, if you so much as slack off on moving an inch.
Mid-life comes at you hard LOL! 😀
Yet if you embrace it all, it is also the best time you can have. Most of us would be financially stable at this time, and have time to ourselves. Or we would be embracing new challenges, new relationships or new goals.
I’d like to be a part of that. Being 45, it makes me a part of this group of women, and being visible the way I am, offers the outlet and space for me to say my piece, or share my thoughts and experiences.
I make no promises about the direction MWS will take. I will still focus on beauty and I will still try new products, and talk about beauty products. As before, trendy products and collections may pass me (and therefore, you) by. But there are many other outlets you can get those news from 🙂
What I can promise is that I’ll still be honest, firm and principled, as I have been all this time. All those have gotten me nowhere as far as fame and fortune is concerned, but it’s helped me sleep better at night, knowing I haven’t intentionally misled anyone into spending money on sub-par beauty products 🙂
Thank you for reading!
I’ve gained a ton of friends and kindred spirits in the past 13 years I’ve been blogging, and it has been the most satisfying part about this whole process.
I don’t have tens of thousands of followers on social media. I still struggle to apply makeup properly. I struggle with skin breakouts and pigmentation, just like everyone else. I am imperfect, as I have admitted before this.
But I am grateful for everyone who’s stuck by all this time, and who has told me at any point, that they’ve enjoyed reading my blog.
Thank you, there is no better reason to continue blogging 🙂
xoxo
Paris B
Phew! You scared me for a minute with that heading!
First of all, I’m so glad you’ll still be blogging — I’ve always enjoyed your blog, and am looking forward to whatever comes next with it.
Second, I think you’re not alone with a sense that maybe we’ve all acquired too much makeup. I see more & more bloggers & vloggers doing purge videos, and taking no-buy/low-buy pledges. Personally, I look at what I own and have trouble imagining what I could buy that would be truly new.
Happy “Birthday”, and here’s hoping for many more!
I love reading your yearly reflections and revelations. Its always fascinating to see how far you’ve come, see whats changed and compare your mindsets through the years! But I sincerely hope (ok lah for selfish reasons) that you won’t ever stop blogging. I mean who else am I gonna stalk 10 years from now!
Please please don’t stop blogging! I absolutely love your attitude towards beauty (in general as well as towards your own personal beauty!) and your critical stance towards consumerism. You’ve got fans all over the planet, one of them in Switzerland. 🙂
Happy 13th Blogoversary! That’s a really long time in this industry and I’m glad to hear that you can’t keep your opinion to yourself. As that means we’ll continue to hear from you. :o)
Blogging is a really time-consuming affair, and many have already retired from it, venturing to easier and more lucrative platforms such as Instagram. So, it takes a lot of passion to still be here.
I’m glad you are staying around as you offer a unique voice out here and represent a different demographics (wiser women). LOL!
Happy Sweet 13th!
Happy 13th, Paris!
I’ve been a reader since I started working, and I just realised the number of years that I worked corresponds to the age of your blog! I’m still using the Guerlain Meteorites, but like you, I’ve stopped chasing for limited editions years ago. Learnt all about makeup and skincare from you. Thanks for all the reviews and tips!
I think we love your blog not only for the contents, but also your honesty as well as the variety. So keep it up and hope to read your blog for another 13 more years to come!
Happy Birthday to mywomenstuff.
I look forward to your new post every time, so please continue blogging. It’s definitely a nice change reading about what you think and feel besides beauty products. My pocket is lucky but skin isn’t. I can’t be adventurous when it comes noOoo to skin care so I stick to what works.
Taste and interest change from time to time and I think what you are experiencing is perfectly normal. I was excited over Hermes lipstick collection but after knowing the price, I shall enjoy checking out other people’s stuff.
Meantime, I am happy reading your posts.
I had an oh-no feeling when I read the headline. Thankfully you are not retiring! I haven’t yet the chance to view all your meteorites collection ! :p (although you did show a summary in the previous beauty debt blog)
Your beauty blog is not just about beautiful shiny swatches and picture but also instructional (how to apply eye shadow and usage of cleansing balm) and now lifestyle contemplation.
Thanks for staying true to your principle in your various stage of life and sharing that with readers, reminding readers to first and foremost appreciate oneself instead of mindlessly chasing youth in reminiscence of our younger, slimmer and prettier days (my oh my speaking of those creepy love handles!!)
Lady, You did it momentarily! Phew! ?
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Julia,
Jerusalem
My dear friend!
I have been reading your blog for many years with pleasure! (yes, with Google translator)
I thank you for your honest opinion. You not only talk about new cosmetic products, but also share your philosophy of life, your way of life.
Sooner or later, but many of us, your subscribers, come to the same decision as you. But I will be very glad to meet you again on the pages of your blog! I wish you all the best and see you soon!
Julia,
Jerusalem
Hello Paris,
Please keep up the good work as we enjoy your insights and your wit. I have been learning a lot from you. Happy 13th!
Woi sila blog dan jangan lari.
Aiyo, I panicked for a while reading the title! Glad you are continuing blogging, Paris!
If anything, your less frequent blogposts makes me savour and appreciate them more <3 I appreciate reading high quality content rather than those who make up content just for the sake of it, if you know what I mean? Quality over quantity anytime!
I generally do not enjoy makeup (cc creme + blush + lip balm = heavy makeup for me lol) but I really enjoy reading your views on them, because I love your style of writing! I've shared this with you a while ago, but your writing has improved my command in the language, expanded my vocab, made me more mindful of my grammar (still a long way to go for improvement, but learning everyday).
Completely agree with you regarding conscious consumerism. I had a good look at my skincare drawer early last year and decided I do not need to have 4 different face oils that do more or less the same job. It's definitely a challenging shift as I have really itchy fingers and love trying out skincare items, but let's be real, I only have 1 face and we know how quick items like face oils go rancid!
Like the rest of your readers, I hope you continue to blog on, would love to also know what you've been whipping up in the Chez PB kitchen 🙂 & how you are restyling your Uniqlo outfits hehehe x
Hi Paris,
Happy birthday to your blog! I am a new follower, but I’ve already read through ALL your posts 😀 You are one of the few really articulate, insightful, and mindful voices in the beautysphere today. I hope you continue to write, even if less frequently, as it will be truly a loss should you decide to retire. I second what KT above said, that your writing has helped me with my command of the language. You are such an example to me of how I can be more effective and nice (!) in expressing my thoughts.
Much love,
Jane
Dear Paris,
Like everybody else, I had an uh-oh moment reading your post. Thank you for blogging and all your kindness and helpful, honest opinions. I feel like having a true friend far abroad and it feels good to know that no matter how far apart we live, we all have the same concerns and pleasures. Thank you again and please keep blogging! All the best for you!
Your recent post moved me. It struck a cord. And I’m glad to see a beauty blogger actually having the same sentiments as I do. Going into the 40s welcomes many changes in our lives that we should embrace. Thank you for being so real and honest (that was what brought me to your blog many years ago). God bless you.
I am not sure how long exactly I have been reading your blog but I think it’s something around a decade and I have always loved how honest and sensible your posts are! Thank you for the hard work!