Ok, I had to say it.
I wanted to be all up-beat about it being already 12 years that I’ve been blogging. It’s been quite a roller-coaster ride, and I honestly cannot believe that I’ve lasted this long in the cat-scratch-cat world of blogging.

As much as it sounds like I’m whining, or that I sound ungrateful, the blog anniversary has hit me a little harder this time around.
Not good enough for the science stuff
Have you noticed the rise in science-based skincare and correspondingly, the rise in so-called online “experts” and bloggers who put themselves forward with a focus on science and product ingredients? People who don’t necessarily have a background or degree in science or chemistry, but who do their research online and then purport to ‘educate’ their readers. Sometimes, it troubles me because they don’t have a basic grounding in the field of chemistry.
As a blogger today, you are expected to talk about and dissect ingredients and pore over ingredient lists. You are supposed to be able to tell what ingredient will work for a certain skin, and what ingredients you should avoid because it’s “toxic”. I feel the pressure and the need to have to talk about this, even though I don’t have any scientific qualifications to my name, and I feel like a fraud. However, I do try to be careful not to mislead, because there is so little I understand myself. If I don’t understand it, I say so.
Truth to tell, all I am qualified to tell you, as a blogger, is this “I tried this cream/serum/cleanser/makeup item and I like it because it makes my skin feel and look better” But you know what? This is no longer good enough.
So thank you to Stephan who is a cosmetics formulator, and an expert in the field, for telling me that it’s OK for me, a beauty blogger, not to be all about the ingredients and the science. I’m here to share my OPINION on how it feels, and that’s what I’ll stick to.
Not good enough for the lifestyle crowd
So many people are now beauty bloggers, a large number of whom encompass a whole lifestyle package. There is a ‘look’ you have to conform to for this lifestyle malarkey, and it’s not one I have LOL You are, in short, expected to be of model material, poised and pulled together.
So many opportunities or interesting beauty launches have passed me by because they want that lifestyle element, or a particular mould; not merely a straight beauty-product focused approach.
But you know what? Lifestyle is much more than just traipsing around pretty cafes, or helping a brand promote a newest electrical gadget, or shopping site, promoting property development (this is the weirdest use of KOLs yet) or to drive and push sales.
It is about how you live your life even if it means being in crummy shorts and t shirts, not only about the free trips and fun tea parties. It is about doing dirty things like cleaning ovens and scrubbing bathroom tiles. It is about cooking and eating and doing grocery shopping, without having to be photographed or documented every step of the way.
MWS has allowed me to occasionally step outside the realm of beauty, into the real world, and I enjoy that. I’ve enjoyeddoing ‘aunty things’ like telling you about floor sweepers, dishwashing liquid, oven cleaners, or just about cooking simple food, and really, that’s about as “lifestyle” as I get.
It just isn’t good enough because it’s not glamorous nor am I dolled up to the nines while telling you about it LOL! Next time, maybe I have to stick my mug next to my food to say “Look, I made this, and check out my new lipstick!” or pose alluringly in a tiny (sponsored) dress next to my sparkling clean oven 😀 The day you see me do that, smack me, someone! 😛

Not good enough to be a beauty blogger
All this time, I thought I was staying on top of things, moving forward, hitting the right spots for the older, less-represented beauty bloggers.
Then, recently, one comment made to me, almost off the cuff, hit me right in the solar plexus. I literally felt the air leave me and a chill ran down my spine.
I introduced myself very recently as “A beauty blogger” and I was told – “You don’t look like a beauty blogger”
It was late in the evening, I had had a long day so maybe I looked a little tired. Maybe my age was showing. Maybe my makeup wasn’t perfect. Maybe I don’t look svelte and poised, nor was I dressed to the nines.
I don’t know guys.
What does a beauty blogger look like?
I’ve said before, I’m imperfect. But the myth of the young, beautiful beauty blogger still persists all these years. As with everything in the beauty industry, even beauty blogging is ageist, prone to body-shaming, and is terribly superficial.
Not good enough to be technical
You know what happens when you become a blogger? You not only have to be your own editor, photographer, model, art director and content creator. You also have to be IT support.
You must deal with software issues with your blog platform, hosting issues, server problems, and software problems to just name a few. And you know what? None of them come easy nor cheap.
You can host your blog for as little as $1 a day. Maybe even for free. But I have poured in hundreds of dollars a month into my blog for the past 12 years, and rates only keep going up. There are many things you need to keep the blog alive and running smoothly and efficiently.
While you can depend on your hosts to get it right, they sometimes get it wrong. And that’s when you face the dreaded “No connection to website” notice, or slow loading website, that leaves you tearing your hair out in frustration, as you repeatedly head-desk your keyboard.
I’m not trained to do this! I taught myself HTML when I started, and CSS and PHP and all that jargon. I taught myself patience while I gnawed my fingernails to the quick. Yes, I can pay for it to work better, but really, there’s a limit to how much I can pay, when the site is barely paying for itself, isn’t it?

Not good enough for Instagram
Ah Instagram – I have a love/hate relationship with it. I love it because you are all so interactive on that platform. I love it for the Stories feature that lets me be a little silly and snarky. I love it because the engagement I get from all of you there is unreal and I love it, I promise, even if I may not reply to everyone immediately.
But I hate it because so much score is laid by your numbers on Instagram. This isn’t Instagram’s fault, but the fault of those who gauge success by numbers, and Instagram allows you to see those numbers.
People craving a modicum of success buy followers or likes or engagement. Some of them did it long ago. Some are still doing it. We see you. But it doesn’t matter – the numbers are what everyone wants.
Instagram doesn’t help either. They ‘reward’ large accounts with features craved by many, especially the “swipe up” feature, that lets you add links to your Instagram Stories. This gets around the problem of Instagram not allowing click through links. But this coveted feature is only available to those with over 10,000 followers. Try growing 10k followers organically. It’s hard. I’m nowhere near this elusive figure.
I have people tell me – “Why don’t you buy some followers? At least you can look more successful” Or “We have a campaign, but we need you to have at least 10,000 followers”.
Do these people realize how unethical they are, and how they force others to be similarly unethical?
Better yet, those who tell me “Oh, no one wants to read anymore. Forget about your blog and focus on Instagram” It was like a stake through the heart!
I’ve battled my inner demons for a while when it comes to Instagram. I still battle them, but I’ve learnt to take breaks, not to follow too many people, not to see what other people are doing, and above all, to have fun. My fun outlet is Instagram Stories, and I’ve been told by many that they’ve enjoyed my random, quirky stories – and I am pleased, because that’s basically how I am – slightly random, slightly quirky 🙂
Not good enough but I’m trying
So really, 12 years in the game, and I can safely tell you that you will never be good enough. There will always be someone doing it better than you are. There will always be someone more willing to do things that you won’t do. There will always be someone happy to step into your space when you choose to step back.
The beauty blogging or blogging world in general is not a nice place – it is the cold, hard truth. You can’t put a bunch of people in a room, dangle a carrot before them, and expect everyone to be nice and supportive of each other so everyone gets a bite. That’s not how human nature works. Human nature dictates that the teeth and nails will come out so one person gets the carrot, while the remaining slink away to tend to their cuts and bruises.
I’ve stepped back in recent times. There’s no use my thinking I’m not good enough, when in fact, I am, and should be. Perhaps, I’m not good enough for others, but I’m good enough by my (high) standards, and for me, and what I want to be.
Perhaps, that might even be good enough 🙂

Thank you
Thank you for reading my blog the past 12 years. I don’t know when you first dropped by or if you’ve been there from the start. I don’t know if you’ve lost interest and wandered off. But for all the times you did stop by to read, to leave a comment, to interact, I thank you.
It helps me realise that I AM good enough 🙂
xoxo
Paris B
Reading all the comments here, I say you have a group of loyal supporters, Paris. No need to feel inferior. Just be you. That’s solid enough. Happy 12 years, MWS!
Thank you Lily 🙂 Yeah, just had a bit of a downer lately but will just have to bounce back – pity the skin doesn’t bounce back as quickly LOL!
Having just celebrated International Women’s Day yesterday, I’d say just be yourself and do what you love. Hah! What is that 1 comment as compared to all your ‘discerning’ blog followers? You do you, Paris!
Thank you ML! Appreciate the kind words, and yeah we owe it to ourselves to be ourself – it’s hard wearing a mask all the time except maybe for sheet masks hmm…? 😉
Hi Paris,
You know what, not everybody likes seeing pretentious models. When I see one, I always feel like they come from a different planet because ain’t nobody wears a tonne of makeup and wear runaway clothes every single day. There are people who still like to look like themselves, only a slightly better version. To me, by staying true and honest to yourself makes you THE ONLY blog I still read in this world where Instagram and Youtube rule. Having loyal followers is your greatest achievement!
Happy 12th anniversary ?
Thank you so much Amy 🙂 I truly appreciate your kind words and I know what you mean about not being able to relate to models or celebs haha! I can’t either! Maybe it’s because you know they live in a world that’s just so different from our own. I Don’t think they scrub out ovens do they? 😀 Thank you for being so kind!
It takes courage to be genuine, to be vulnerable, and to say it as it is.
True, you don’t sell lofty dreams of the “perfect” life through highly stylised photos. But you do inspire people to take care of their skin (hello, sunscreen), and to be comfortable with makeup on their own terms (the way you have).
Followers can be bought, but respect can’t. And you’ve earned it, multifold, in your 12 years of blogging.
You come across as a reliable and responsible friend, whose advice and opinion is always thoughtful. And I think that’s the niche you occupy in the blogging scene.
Although I’m sorry and frustrated on your behalf that integrity doesn’t carry as much value these days.
Btw, your flatlays have gone from strength to strength!
xoxo,
Adele/Adelina
Thank you Adelina 🙂 Thank you for noticing the flatlays! haha I have had some positive comments on them, which pleases me because I am trying to be a little better at the visual aspect of things. But you are right, integrity has no place in today’s world sadly. It does upset me, and hence does make me feel inferior to the appearance of a perfect lifestyle that is projected by most. So thank you for telling me that it’s ok to just be me and go on my way, scolding people and telling them to pull their socks up, because just maybe sometimes we need that little push 🙂 Thank you again!
Happy 12 Years!!! You’ve always amazing, insightful, smart, and good enough for me. Thank you for sticking around! I was there for your 10th anniversary and I’m still around!!! One reason your blog stands out is because of your opinions and you do your research. I always learn something new from you!
Thank you for continuing your blog!!???
Thank you so much Z! Truly appreciate your kind words and for sticking by all this time and for telling me that having an opinion is OK <3
You’re most welcome and I am truly glad I found your blog all those years ago!
<3 <3 <3
Oops, Paris, my phone was lagging and I meant to say: Thank you for continuing your blog!!!
I appreciate all your hard work and time that you put into this blog. You are certainly good enough for me and I KNOW you have lots of loyal readers!
???????????
<3 Thank you so much. I must say that I am a little overwhelmed by the support but it is gratifying to know that so many people understand and appreciate the approach I take :)
Always a loyal supporter, Paris! (You have lots of them??.)
<3 <3 <3
Thank you and I wish I could give all of you a big hug! 😀
Happy 12th Anniversary! These photos are so beautiful, especially these with the balloons under the trees! Do what really pleases you and make you happy!
Thank you so much Amalia! I really had a bit of a down time due to a few factors but will definitely bounce back, because blogging does make me happy. Just that the external pressures don’t haha! 😀
Just dropping a note to say that I have been reading every single posts for years! Can’t even remember when I first started.
Gosh I do remember your handle, so yes I can safely say that it’s been ages! Thank you! <3
Hi Paris, I agree and support you. Your writing is the best I ever and I was attracted by your character and writing skills and I can read some of your same posts again and again. Too good to miss ever single word. I really cannot tahan the nowadays merepek-repek millennium self acclaimed influencers. I bet they only can last for a few months and quietly disappeared. Forget about those business opportunities that only want to see the fake numbers. Their products must be only target to those certain type of shoppers. Lastly I wanted to say again, please continue to write, we need YOU to represent the world of true inspired beauty Blogger!!!
Hahaha you totally made me laugh Susin, thank you so much <3 I won't knock these young kids though. I think they know their niche and they go for it, which is more power to them! But ultimately we need the meat and potatoes in our life because I don't think we can survive on cotton candy 😉 I truly appreciate your kind words and support and I thank you so much for them <3
Happy 12th Anniversary, Paris! I’ve discovered your blog just about 5 years back and love your writing style. In fact reading your blog has helped improved my English! I value your honest and witty reviews. My skin told me to thank you too for introducing amazing products especially Shiseido sunscreen (now becoming too expensive to continue on though eeks). When I want to try something new, I’ll always check if you have tried it first hahaha.
Keep doing what you are doing and inspiring us with top notch quality writing, gorgeous flat-lays and Aunty stories. I love them all!!!!
Thank you KT, and you know, I think you’ve just paid me the highest compliment ever – that it’s helped you with your English! <3 I do believe in sticking to a proper writing style and am very particular about grammar so it means a lot to me that someone notices and appreciate it 🙂 I totally feel you about the Shiseido sunscreen - it's too expensive for me too! Try the Anessa one instead and see if you like it. Or if you travel to Thailand or HK, Taiwan or Japan, get the Kanebo Allie one. So good and much more affordable! Thank you again for all your kind words and support all this time <3
Actually, I trust your reviews a whole lot more than I do a lot of other bloggers out there – you’re refreshingly frank, without coming across as judgmental or elitist. And even if a product doesn’t work for you, you always take care to point out how it work for others if you think it will. Most importantly, I never get the sense that you’re being paid to gush about something, so when you do, I sit up and start digging around (if it’s within my $$ range, lah! xD) The cherry on top of the whole cake is that you write so goshdarn well (witty, conversational and grammatical(!!!)), it’s fun to read your posts, even if the content may not be particularly relevant to me.
Congratulations on 12-years mark – gosh, I’ve been following you (mostly quietly, I admit) for so long, it’s kind of mind-blowing to realize that it’s been quite a while in total!
Thank you Esther! And you know, I remember your email address so yes, I can safely say you’ve been there for a long long time! <3 Thank you too for saying that I don't come across judgmental - I try not to be because budgets are always a concern for everyone (I do tend to focus on luxury brands I know) and because I believe that everyone should have their own opinion on how they react to a product (unless it's poisonous or truly bad for you!) Thank you for all your kind words and for appreciating the writing - I truly love writing so I think that's why I tend to be a little longwinded haha! But it's nice to know that out there, someone is reading and maybe even laughing along at my little inside jokes 😉
I have been following your blog for a long long time. I like your honest reviews and opinions and please do not follow other bloggers that always seem so perfect and unreal. Even my husband knows about MyWomenstuff as I always have your site on my browser! Keep up the good work and always remember why you started this blog,
Thank you YinChyi and I had to laugh at your reference to your husband. Good chap that – I hope he wears sunscreen 😉 Thank you so much for your kind words and for the support. I truly truly mean it when I say that I appreciate it <3
Hi Paris, please don’t ever stop writing! I love reading anything and everything you write! They’re so honest and real. I like how you’re always so honest w your opinions when you write about products, and I like how you share tips like the recent oven cleaning one! I believe every “beauty blogger” should be like you – real, honest & ‘aunty’ (?) at times. It’s just you being you. ?
Just clarifying that the first (?) is a (:p) face and the second (?) is actually a heart haha
Hahhaa I’ve been trying to figure out why emojis won’t show but I can’t seem to find the switch to turn them on!
Haha some days, they’ll all be aunties, and then maybe we’ll get the aunty content eh? 😉 Thank you so much Meen. I am very thankful to have readers who truly understand and appreciate the content I put out and find it helpful. Thank you!
I have been reading your blog for almost 10 years and i really like it 🙂 Thank you for taking the time to do it ????
Thank you Mariana! Appreciate your kind words and gosh, 10 years! You’ve seen me at my best and my worst haha!
Be yourself and stick to your genuine and honest feedback. We need someone whom we can count on! Gambateh!
Thank you Sandy, I appreciate the trust! <3
There are still aunties like me who read your blog. I have been a silent reader until recently, as I’m always searching for more bloggers like you, providing honest opinion in tried and tested products. Hey, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, who says you need to look like an 18-year model to be a blogger? Please keep your blog alive for aunties like me.
Thank you Nvie! The funny thing is, I think many people have grown up alongside aunty PB LOL! 😀 I think it’s just public perception that still thinks that anyone willing to put themselves out there must be a sweet young thing, not a cynical, crotchety aunty. Up to us to change their minds! 🙂 Thank you for the support
Hi Paris,
I am very new to your blog and visiting first time here.. but you know what you have an awesome blog and you look like a true beauty blogger… I am a blogger too and can relate to many of those you mentioned above… I am so glad to have found MWS… Very well wishes for you and your MWS…??
Thank you very much for your kind words and hello! 🙂 All the best for your blog too!
I hope I’m not late to the party, but I wouldn’t let the opportunity of how great you are.
I know the last years have been quite complicated, but I firmly believe that one of the reasons you’ve been here for 12 years is because of your blog quality and your inner strength.
Years ago I told you I found blogging as an artisanal work, and I still see it as a really curated and precious work.
Also I believe it still has a place in this world where everything is starting to be like information bites, because at the end many of us still want the full meal.
So I hope to keep reading your blog for many years and congratulations for your anniversary.
Never too late Efrain! Thank you so much for always having kind things to say 🙂 You are right about bite-sized news now gaining popularity. It’s all thanks to Facebook and Instagram, and I think that just conditions us to read less and less. Quite a pity, because we can only learn by reading more, and broadening our minds. But all that said, thank you for always being there, gosh for so many years! I remember when you were still studying, and look at you now, all grown up! 😀
Wow 12 years! Gosh… doesn’t feel that long that ago since I first met you but your blog takes me way back. I discovered a few skincare products that went on to be my HG and I am forever grateful! You kept this beauty-pedia running for 12 years and yet, every article is just as refreshing because you always tell it like it is. And I enjoyed all your aunty tips and food adventures and other non beauty related tid bits that you bestow on us every so often. Congrats on your 12 fabulous years and please keep those snarky ig stories coming 😛
Haha it’s been 2 years since we met! Doesn’t seem that long does it? 😀 Thanks for the support Lezel, and for that opportune lunch date we had – I always love meeting other beauty junkies. It’s always enlightening!
Happy 12th anniversary MWS! Been reading your blog since December 2012 and also got into IG mainly because of you. Your blog is honest, sincere, witty and direct – characteristics which you hardly find in many blogs these days (not like I have much time to read them either, LOL). Your detractors are probably envious after realising that their command of written English would never be even close to your level, hence the negative comments about you as a blogger. Hahahahaha. Here’s wishing you many blogging years ahead 🙂
Thank you Victoria and it has been my pleasure and privilege getting to know you! 😀 I’m glad you’ve enjoyed your time with me, and thank you so much for your kind words. I suppose we all will have our strengths, whether in posing prettily for the camera, or painting pictures in your head. I can only do one of it, and modelling isn’t quite in my future LOL! 😀