Last week, I scanned my spam folder and came across a pitch that had rightfully landed in spam. It said, among others “As you know, women are always finding ways to look and feel younger, but the vagina is often overlooked” and at that point, I rolled my eyes so hard, they threatened to pop out of my head.
That was the opening pitch for what was supposed to be a device for “home vagina rejuvenation”.
Yes, you can now rejuvenate your vagina aka your “lady bits” right in the comfort of your own home, by just buying a device that you then insert into your said lady bits in an effort to make it look and feel younger. Nope. Apparently, people aren’t content with just looking younger in their faces, they want their insides to look younger too.
Huh?
Yeah, that was my exact reaction.
“Vaginal Rejuvenation” or “Vaginoplasty” – Is it necessary?
What made me first amused, then angry, was the fact that something like this was marketed (a) almost like it was a normal thing that women do/need and (b) as if it was something women should worry about.
But is it a problem? Is “vaginal rejuvenation” really necessary?
Let me say first, that if there is a medical condition that requires it, then by all means, take your doctor’s advise. I am not saying it’s totally unnecessary medically. Stapling the stomach works for those who are very obese and unhealthy. But it is not an option just because you want to lose a few kilos fast. Know the difference.
This brand however, were pitching their device to those after a certain age (about 40 and up – yeah, I felt offended LOL! 😛 ), as if that is your primary problem, aside from all the other age-related problems that plague you. The pitch was primarily focused on having better sex after this “rejuvenation”.
Really, if that’s the key problem they seek to address, perhaps it isn’t purely about the laxity or otherwise of the vagina 😛 Also, how do you experience a “more youthful look & feel in your feminine area”? Youthful look? Unless you belong in Cirque du Soleil, the odds of you peering at yourself down there is practically nil. Also, if anyone else peering down there comments about how “youthful” or not it looks, they deserve a kick in the head. And they’d be in the right position too for you to deliver it.
I then got curious and looked it up online to see if vaginal rejuvenation was a thing, and apparently it is now. It’s also known as “vaginoplasty” a procedure to tighten the vaginal muscles designed to increase sexual gratification. While it might be a medical issue for some who may require it, it is absolutely unnecessary for most of us, and can even be detrimental – loss of feeling, scarring etc. So, I was quite surprised to see that it is a common offering at plastic surgeons and even aesthetics clinics today. Yes, even locally. A quick search on Google tossed up numerous clinics offering it, which tells you there’s a demand – or a manufactured demand, at any rate.
Like most cosmetics procedures, it is offered for cosmetic reasons – for a perceived tightening of the vagina, because some people believe that it gets loose over time and that affects their sexual relations. Can you believe that?
Skip the cosmetic procedure – Do your Kegels
Your vagina is supported by muscle in your pelvic floor. It does not loosen nor wear out. It stretches enough to allow women to pop out babies, and then shrinks. It isn’t exactly like a rubberband that looses all elasticity once you stretch it beyond a certain point. Like all muscles, you can build muscle strength in your pelvic floor – look up Kegel exercises and practise it. It isn’t hard, you don’t need fancy equipment, nor to join a gym. You don’t need a fancy Lululemon outfit, a studio or a green smoothie. You can do it at your desk, in a boring meeting (might as well make use of that waste of time 😛 ), in the lift, while driving, anywhere! You won’t even break a sweat 😛 You can read more here, but essentially, here’s how:-
- Find your muscles – While sitting on the toilet, try stopping your pee in mid-flow. Did it stop? Congratulations. You’ve done one kegel. If you aren’t sure, check with your doctor. They should be able to advise you.
- Practise by contracting your pelvic muscles for a few seconds, and then releasing. Do a few repetitions a day. Try not to flex your buttocks, thigh or abdomen, focus on your pelvic muscles.
That’s it really. No sweat, no fuss, you can do it with your makeup on LOL! 😀
What pisses me off is that like botox, one day vaginoplasty will be considered “normal”. Perhaps one day soon, we will see social media “influencers” extol the virtue of having had a “vaginal rejuvenation” so they can “look and feel younger inside out” and have better sex *nudge nudge wink wink*.
Gag.
Stop dis-empowering women
I personally get really pissed off at stupid ads and pitches like these. They are targeted to implant that seed of doubt in the minds of otherwise impressionable women, who need one more thing about their bodies to concern themselves over. This does not empower women. It DIS-empowers them and I hate this culture of scaremongering. If you want to know if vaginoplasty is necessary, read this and then go learn Kegel exercises. Doesn’t cost you a penny and it may even enhance your sex life better than any gadget or surgery can.
While on this subject of stupid marketing that dis-empowers women, I also came across this product in my stash one day. It is the L’Oreal Paris Pure Clay Mask for Asia, and the name gave me my daily eye-rolling exercise – Anti-Pores.
ANTI-PORES. What the hell do they mean?!
We all have pores. It’s called skin. Skin is porus i.e. has pores. If we didn’t, we’d suffocate and DIE. So does this mean that L’Oreal is against having pores? Are they ANTI-SKIN?! Are the people in L’Oreal made of plastic like Barbie dolls? Wait – don’t answer that last one 😛
Ok, I’m not dumb, lest you think I am. I know they mean that the clay mask is supposed to reduce the size and appearance of pores by soaking up the oil. But come on now, ANTI-PORES. Do they even know what “anti” means? They could have called it “Reduce Pores” and I wouldn’t go into a fit. But Anti-Pores. Come on.
I threw it in the bin by the way. Not only because of the dumb-ass name, but because it just wasn’t very good so the bin was really the best place for it.
Other dis-empowering products out there I have come across, that piss me off, are:-
- whitening creams like Fair & Lovely and their ridiculous advertisement that gives the impression that being fair makes you more beautiful and will land you your dream job/good looking guy;
- underarm whitening deodorants and creams because darker underarms are apparently ugly even if it’s natural;
- sanitary napkin ads that show you a young girl out enjoying herself in the fun and sun and in white pants no less!, when we know that when you get your period, it’s normal to want to just wear your oldest, most comfortable granny panties, the loosest clothes (thanks bloat!) and stay at home curled on your couch. You aren’t about to want to go partying or wear tight white pants and THAT IS NORMAL!;
- feminine washes – no.
Have you come across other stupid dis-empowering gadgets and products or product names?
Am I the only one who gets really agitated by stupid things like these that target and prey on women and the perceived frailty of our emotions and self-confidence? I can’t possibly be alone!
Paris B
Don’t even get me started on this one! What society want’s a millennial vag to look like:
• There shall be not a single hair. Because…eeeww…so unhygienic!
• There shall be no labia on show. Everything must be neatly tucked away.
• Everything is supposed to be coloured a faint millennial pink. No browns or darker tones allowed!
• A woman’s private area smells disgusting by nature. That’s something to be embarrassed about! You always have to make sure you smell like a flower garden down there. Eff the natural pH balance, eff the good bacteria. Scrub away already!
What concerns me the most about this “trend” is, that it’s basically the description of a child’s neither regions. Everything that defines the “womanlyness” of your bits is something to be ashamed of. Everybody that tells me, we have gender equality by now needs to wake up – and fast! Us feminists still have a long way to go, I’m afraid…
Love, your blog and love, that you’re addressing topics like this! Thanks!
Laura
OMG Laura you hit all the nails right on the head! The way women are made to feel bad about our bodies is so disempowering and demoralizing. Secretions, smell, hair, colour, it is all normal! We should be familiar with them because it is when something changes that we should know something is wrong and get the requisite treatment. The almost fetishization of women as prepubescent girls is very worrying, especially since it is now self-imposed by our own gender. I wish it wasn’t this way, and that we were all allowed to grow up, and grow old, gracefully in our way, not stay perpetually 16.
Anti-pores ??? omg.
EVERYTHING you’ve just said – yes!!!!!!
And thank you for saying it ( and ‘they’d be in the right position for you to deliver it’ really made me lol)
This stuff just drives me crazy. I’m
glad I’m not alone!
Thank you Sarah, I am glad I”m not alone either in getting riled up about what is being done to women today in the name of “beauty”. I wish we were all allowed to grow up, grow old and be graceful and healthy about it. Not pretend we’re still 16 and “forever young”
Yes and that’s another thing that worries me – I’m 50 this month and there’s no real media representations of a natural, normally healthily ageing 50 year old anywhere that I can find.
Every actress of a certain age – with very little exception- is filled and tucked and botoxed. I can see why they do it – it’s expected now, and what they represent is now the normal standard for ageing. They probably wouldn’t work if they didn’t do it.
That’s what young girls see, and so that’s what they think ‘ageing’ looks like. That’s what women my age group see – and so, with the aid of the beauty industry we are made to feel ‘ugly’ and that we are ‘ageing badly’ because we have wrinkles and our jaws sag. I saw Oceans 8 recently and was genuinely saddened that amongst all these (admittedly gorgeous) 40-50 somethings only one had even the slightest hint of ‘not had work done’ . One of them, at age 53 had not a single crease or line of any kind on her face or neck, nor any ‘sagging’ And that’s what we have as role models now.
And the stuff that then beauty industry throws at us just perpetuates these fears and anxiety about ageing.
I like make up and ‘anti ageing’ skincare as much as anyone but like you I also would like to just look like the best and healthiest version of a woman my age that I can.
Omg. Can you tell this bugs me ??? I’ll stop now. Thanks for another really enjoyable post
To say it in the words of my favourite elderly lady Iris Apfel: “Wrinkles are a badge of honour!”
You should definitely check out the documentary about her, if you haven’t yet, it’s called “Iris”. To me , she is what “ageing gracefully” looks like.
“Done” faces never look pretty to me. The personality of a face gets lost in the process. If you look at most actresses over fourty, they all kinda look the same. That creeps me out!
Laura I do agree! There’s a certain look they all get isn’t there! I’ve seen pics of Iris and read about her, she’s definitely inspirational and I will check out the documentary thank you – have you seen Advanced Style? It’s a similar documentary that I think she’s also in and that you would enjoy 🙂
Yes! I loved advanced style! That’s what I want to look/be like, when I’m old. And even now, with 35, I find that so much more inspiring than all the Kim K/Insta aesthetics. Another tip would be the stylelikeu closet videos on YouTube https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_jxFaykzU8BqmN41xKLiBxuls2QJettp Amazing people, amazing style! So inspiring if you’re not into mainstream role models!
Butting in to say that Iris Apfel is fascinating! 😀 I haven’t watched the documentary, but I’d come across her and she is certainly inspiring.
Happy early birthday Sarah! 🙂 What a milestone! But you are right. After the age of 40, women are expected to be preserved in that state, so they only look a certain way. We’re expected to still be slim, or toned, a head full of hair (now, commonly dyed to hide grey hair), perky boobs and butt. We’re basically expected to never age. And you are right, it is a troubling image to present.
I watched Oceans 8 recently too and you were right, I was sitting there thinking “All these women never age! They all still look so young!” But as we all know, they all have had something done. In that world, it is to be expected, but that expectation soon filters down into the real world. I must say that when I was younger, it didn’t trouble me so much. But now that I’m older, and wanting to find some role models of women who have grown older and have aged gracefully, it’s very hard to find. Even harder on social media, where the pressure to look forever young is even greater than Hollywood 😛 Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this – it has been insightful 🙂
“And they’d be in the right position too for you to deliver it.” Bwahahaha will remember this, should the situation ever call for it. ??
Another appalling ad I’ve seen recently is one where a young woman is basically told she’s unattractive and unable to find a romantic partner because of her acne, gets a facial (from a place with seemingly atas branding), and subsequently finds herself attractive to guys. Tale as old as time, still being regurgitated.
Thank you for keeping it real and saying it as is. Personally, with so much subliminal messaging floating around and more pressure to be perfectly groomed, it’s sometimes a challenge to remember there’s no reason to aspire to look like a perfect (and soulless) AI robot just because they’re a thing now.
Yes, heels at the ready! LOL! 😀 I didn’t see that ad you mentioned but that is so utterly sick! OMG! It is sick that that salon is preying on the insecurities of young women and to use that stupid bait of “being attractive to men”. Seriously, we should want to repair and treat our skin for OURSELVES, not for some stupid men. There is so much pressure within and without the beauty industry and all its attendant industries (beauty writers, editors, KOL, bloggers etc) to look groomed and good all the time, that I personally find it suffocating. I personally buck the trend as much as I can – as I don’t have the desire nor interest to perpetually look a certain way. Neat and tidy, but not necessarily dolled up at every opportunity. I think we owe it to ourselves to “hang loose” because really, being a woman is hard enough, without having to have society push its expectations onto how you LOOK above everything else!
I LOVE your writings for years, and this blog entry was right on spot again.
All this made me wondering about that NONE of these things and expectations existed 50, 100, 500, thousands of years ago and STILL someone was having sex with women… And I am sure they enjoyed sex back then as well. Still no one was bothered about dark armpits, pores, hairy vaginas and stuff..
We are a pretty messed up society. I am not saying we shouldn’t care about ourselves, do whatever makes you feel comfy and okay. And I can only hope there are other normal thinking ppl out there who raise eyebrows as well about these nonsense stuff you just wrote.
Keep up the good work! 🙂
Kriszti from Hungary
Hi Kriszti, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. Actually, I think women suffered a lot back in the day as well for the sake of beauty and for societal expectations. Expectations were different back then – in China for example, bound feet were a symbol of beauty – feet were bound, bones broken etc for young girls so their feet were just a few inches long. All because some man fetishized it. Then there are the corsets in the West, women having their torsos squeezed and their insides contorted out of alignment, to create a tiny waist and push up the breasts. In many ways, we do suffer less today. But I think in many ways also, we aren’t as “free” as many would lead us to believe and for this, I agree with you – we are quite messed up as a society, because we allow others to dictate how we should look and feel and today, we allow marketing people to dictate that, purely for profit. We have a long way to go before we are truly “free” to do what we want, don’t you think? 🙂
What a breath of fresh air from all the fake beauty standards out there! Love article like this, keeping it real from a beauty blogger no less! Thank you! Hahaha
Thank you Eve 🙂 I guess you could say that’s why MWS isn’t just another beauty blog! 😉
Nope, you’re not alone my friend.
Yeah apparently va-jay-jay surgery is a thing, I just learned about it few months ago when I stumbled on a beauty website’s article on said topic. *sigh*
But from my limited observation, what I could conclude is human being in general dont give a hoot about ‘loose’ lady bits. So what if your post-baby/over 40 down under doesnt look or feel like how it was twenty years ago? We are living things! OF COURSE some things will change. And aged! NOTHING wrong with that.
Glad that you pointed this out PB. Let us all empower women and keep shining the positive vibes! ?
Haha glad I’m not! Yes, it’s quite a big thing today too! So many aesthetics clinics now do it. I guess the demand is there due to society’s pressure for women to never grow old 🙁 It’s really sad if you ask me. Men are allowed to, why not women? And you are right – our bodies will change as we age. We can help slow it down with exercise, but such is life – the aging process will happen, whether we like it or not! I dare not think of the botched vaginal surgeries or treatments that no one talks about. Why people put themselves through all that humiliation and pain I will never know 🙁
Although you said you were pissed, the way your wrote this post made me laughed a few times – it was so humorously written. Yes, I agree that businesses can come out with the strangest things to get us to part our money. This one is a bit too much I suppose and I hope companies won’t target vulnerable and young social media influencers to get them to test it for free in exchange for a raving review.
This reminded me of brow embroidery. All of a sudden, everyone was talking about it on IG. I wish I could share with them how the colour won’t last and may turn into red or green. And they would be tied to brow embroidery for life like botox, i.e. to touch up every few years.
Haha yes having humour helps with the rage 😀 Do you know if the same problem with brow embroidery is present in the newest micro-blading trend? I’ve been quite curious about that, because so many people I know have done it and are very happy with it. But I’m just a little curious as to any longer term effects/concerns. It’s so new, I think not many people have had long enough experience to be able to share yet.
Perhaps it’s irresponsible of me to assume that brow embroidery would fade to red/bluish-green colour since I haven’t personally tried that. What I did try was brow micro-blading and the dark brown tone turned into red and lasted for more than a decade.
I’m not sure how similar both procedures are except that one (embroidery) is said to reach shallower skin surface and hence less permanent. I find it hard to persuade myself to pay more (a lot more) for something less permanent and hence would fade faster.
Ink being ink, be it embroidery, tattoo or micro-blading, I wonder how differently it would fade. When it comes to manual application by beauticians, I wouldn’t want to subject myself to the risk of having red brows again. LOL. Also, brow trend changes…so I rather draw my own according to mood, dressing and fad. 😉
That’s true. I have toyed with the idea of micro-blading but have not made the jump simply because everyone’s brows tend to look the same LOL So I’ll just stick to drawing for now, wonky brows and all
The other day I say some idiot promoting lemon juice to brighten the bikini area – ouch!!
What really pisses me off is that some people (men) will be like, “I like a woman who is natural and not high maintenance”, but then also expect us to look gorgeous, slim, and hairless without having to work on it. What the hell, people?
My God! I wonder if anyone would try it 😛 And yes unfortunately, men are such contrary creatures. I’d like to see them take half the care with themselves and their appearance and personal hygiene as they think women do! So much expectations are laid on women, who not only aren’t supposed to grow old, they’re supposed to look perfect. By contrast, men are allowed to get old and scruffy and wrinkly and grey or bald and then people say “Oh that’s sexy” Erm.. what?!