Last week, I scanned my spam folder and came across a pitch that had rightfully landed in spam. It said, among others “As you know, women are always finding ways to look and feel younger, but the vagina is often overlooked” and at that point, I rolled my eyes so hard, they threatened to pop out of my head.
That was the opening pitch for what was supposed to be a device for “home vagina rejuvenation”.
Yes, you can now rejuvenate your vagina aka your “lady bits” right in the comfort of your own home, by just buying a device that you then insert into your said lady bits in an effort to make it look and feel younger. Nope. Apparently, people aren’t content with just looking younger in their faces, they want their insides to look younger too.
Yeah, that was my exact reaction.
“Vaginal Rejuvenation” or “Vaginoplasty” – Is it necessary?
What made me first amused, then angry, was the fact that something like this was marketed (a) almost like it was a normal thing that women do/need and (b) as if it was something women should worry about.
But is it a problem? Is “vaginal rejuvenation” really necessary?
Let me say first, that if there is a medical condition that requires it, then by all means, take your doctor’s advise. I am not saying it’s totally unnecessary medically. Stapling the stomach works for those who are very obese and unhealthy. But it is not an option just because you want to lose a few kilos fast. Know the difference.
This brand however, were pitching their device to those after a certain age (about 40 and up – yeah, I felt offended LOL! 😛 ), as if that is your primary problem, aside from all the other age-related problems that plague you. The pitch was primarily focused on having better sex after this “rejuvenation”.
Really, if that’s the key problem they seek to address, perhaps it isn’t purely about the laxity or otherwise of the vagina 😛 Also, how do you experience a “more youthful look & feel in your feminine area”? Youthful look? Unless you belong in Cirque du Soleil, the odds of you peering at yourself down there is practically nil. Also, if anyone else peering down there comments about how “youthful” or not it looks, they deserve a kick in the head. And they’d be in the right position too for you to deliver it.
I then got curious and looked it up online to see if vaginal rejuvenation was a thing, and apparently it is now. It’s also known as “vaginoplasty” a procedure to tighten the vaginal muscles designed to increase sexual gratification. While it might be a medical issue for some who may require it, it is absolutely unnecessary for most of us, and can even be detrimental – loss of feeling, scarring etc. So, I was quite surprised to see that it is a common offering at plastic surgeons and even aesthetics clinics today. Yes, even locally. A quick search on Google tossed up numerous clinics offering it, which tells you there’s a demand – or a manufactured demand, at any rate.
Like most cosmetics procedures, it is offered for cosmetic reasons – for a perceived tightening of the vagina, because some people believe that it gets loose over time and that affects their sexual relations. Can you believe that?
Skip the cosmetic procedure – Do your Kegels
Your vagina is supported by muscle in your pelvic floor. It does not loosen nor wear out. It stretches enough to allow women to pop out babies, and then shrinks. It isn’t exactly like a rubberband that looses all elasticity once you stretch it beyond a certain point. Like all muscles, you can build muscle strength in your pelvic floor – look up Kegel exercises and practise it. It isn’t hard, you don’t need fancy equipment, nor to join a gym. You don’t need a fancy Lululemon outfit, a studio or a green smoothie. You can do it at your desk, in a boring meeting (might as well make use of that waste of time 😛 ), in the lift, while driving, anywhere! You won’t even break a sweat 😛 You can read more here, but essentially, here’s how:-
- Find your muscles – While sitting on the toilet, try stopping your pee in mid-flow. Did it stop? Congratulations. You’ve done one kegel. If you aren’t sure, check with your doctor. They should be able to advise you.
- Practise by contracting your pelvic muscles for a few seconds, and then releasing. Do a few repetitions a day. Try not to flex your buttocks, thigh or abdomen, focus on your pelvic muscles.
That’s it really. No sweat, no fuss, you can do it with your makeup on LOL! 😀
What pisses me off is that like botox, one day vaginoplasty will be considered “normal”. Perhaps one day soon, we will see social media “influencers” extol the virtue of having had a “vaginal rejuvenation” so they can “look and feel younger inside out” and have better sex *nudge nudge wink wink*.
Stop dis-empowering women
I personally get really pissed off at stupid ads and pitches like these. They are targeted to implant that seed of doubt in the minds of otherwise impressionable women, who need one more thing about their bodies to concern themselves over. This does not empower women. It DIS-empowers them and I hate this culture of scaremongering. If you want to know if vaginoplasty is necessary, read this and then go learn Kegel exercises. Doesn’t cost you a penny and it may even enhance your sex life better than any gadget or surgery can.
While on this subject of stupid marketing that dis-empowers women, I also came across this product in my stash one day. It is the L’Oreal Paris Pure Clay Mask for Asia, and the name gave me my daily eye-rolling exercise – Anti-Pores.
ANTI-PORES. What the hell do they mean?!
We all have pores. It’s called skin. Skin is porus i.e. has pores. If we didn’t, we’d suffocate and DIE. So does this mean that L’Oreal is against having pores? Are they ANTI-SKIN?! Are the people in L’Oreal made of plastic like Barbie dolls? Wait – don’t answer that last one 😛
Ok, I’m not dumb, lest you think I am. I know they mean that the clay mask is supposed to reduce the size and appearance of pores by soaking up the oil. But come on now, ANTI-PORES. Do they even know what “anti” means? They could have called it “Reduce Pores” and I wouldn’t go into a fit. But Anti-Pores. Come on.
I threw it in the bin by the way. Not only because of the dumb-ass name, but because it just wasn’t very good so the bin was really the best place for it.
Other dis-empowering products out there I have come across, that piss me off, are:-
- whitening creams like Fair & Lovely and their ridiculous advertisement that gives the impression that being fair makes you more beautiful and will land you your dream job/good looking guy;
- underarm whitening deodorants and creams because darker underarms are apparently ugly even if it’s natural;
- sanitary napkin ads that show you a young girl out enjoying herself in the fun and sun and in white pants no less!, when we know that when you get your period, it’s normal to want to just wear your oldest, most comfortable granny panties, the loosest clothes (thanks bloat!) and stay at home curled on your couch. You aren’t about to want to go partying or wear tight white pants and THAT IS NORMAL!;
- feminine washes – no.
Have you come across other stupid dis-empowering gadgets and products or product names?
Am I the only one who gets really agitated by stupid things like these that target and prey on women and the perceived frailty of our emotions and self-confidence? I can’t possibly be alone!