I buy a lot of crap. Rather, what I affectionately call “crap”. You don’t actually take me that seriously do you?! I spend a lot of money on beauty products and products for the kitchen and home (don’t even get me started on the kitchen – I want every new and potentially useful item I can find out there!) but often, they are fairly thought out purchases.
Sometimes I stumble and do the odd splurge on something I might not actually need but which catches my eye. Usually, it’s something pretty or something fairly frivolous like a perfumed scented shower gel or a scented candle, or a storage container (I’ve got a thing for storage containers – God help me when I go to Ikea or Daiso 😛 )
But you know what irks me? Being pressured into buying something I don’t really want. Tell me you’ve been put in that situation too? We can share in each other’s misery 😛
You see, just because I’m a beauty buff, it doesn’t mean that I buy into every beauty trend or product out there willy nilly. I’m pretty selective with what I spend my money on. Some are worth it, others aren’t. But it’ll all be products or services that have sparked an interest in me so if it didn’t work, then I only have myself to blame.
But just because I’m into beauty, I sometimes get peddled some really strange things or brands. Or worse still, I get pitched products from multi-level marketing brands or direct selling companies by acquaintances (nothing against most of these brands, but I just don’t like their tactics for the most part and the marked up prices). Is there anything worse? Oh yes. Insurance. Gah! If I want insurance, I’ll find out what I need and buy it. I don’t need to keep buying many different types of insurance policies. I only need one that does what I want and need.
Friends know better than to try to push me a direct-selling product, and if they are my friends, I’d buy something anyway, just to show support. But I’ve been put in a situation where I felt positively pressured on all sides, to buy something I didn’t want or need by someone I barely knew; and you know, that leaves me feeling really harassed and uncomfortable and even angry. I can’t even look at that item now, because I feel so silly allowing myself to be put in that situation.
But you know what? It’s taught me a lesson. I’m just going to have to set my shoulders back and say NO, the next time it happens. It’s easier to escape the pressure if it’s a big ticket item. But some people deem that a small sum of money is your “obligation” to support their business or sideline, because you’re chums (or what they believe). You know, it may not involve a large sum of money, but in these lean times, every last dollar counts. And really, I just don’t see why I should feel the pressure to buy anything I don’t want or do not have interest in owning just for the sake of being “social”. Call me miserly (or kiamsiap) it’s my money and I should spend it how I want to, not how I’m pressured to! 😛
Have you been put in this situation where you are pressured into buying something you don’t want or need? How do you get out of it?
I know that this is how many beauty salons and slimming centres do their hardsell. To those, I can always say no. There was once when a popular skincare brand actually locked me in a small room after my trial facial, to try to pressure me into buying a facial package. I was livid and basically told them that if they didn’t let me out, I was going to call the police LOL! I never went back, naturally and I’ve refused to use their products ever since 😛 What’s your story or do you have tips on how to get out of this situation? 🙂
Paris B
** Images are used as placeholders only – I absolutely wanted to buy the items pictured, with no pressure involved, and some of them have brought me a lot of joy 🙂
PARISSSSS – that’s me last week – so there was a sale …. I saw something that I liked but don’t really need. ( it almost always starts like that, doesn’t it????)
I asked the SA for the price and she gave me the wrong price – and I only realised it after I got into my car – a call came in when I was paying for it so i was not paying attention to the bill – juz signed the card and left !
I checked the bill again and was like WUTTTT???
Luckily the damage was small but if I had known that to be the price, I wouldn’t have bought it !!!
Note to self: stay focus even when shopping
Ugh nooo! I hate it when that happens and it’s happened to me too. Especially if I’m paying for a few things at the same time, and overlook the cost. Lucky the damage was small else you’d be even more pissed off right?
Oooh tumpang rant! Okay, I don’t have a problem saying “No” to people who try to pressure in that way. In fact, I quite relish the look on their faces when I stare them back in the eye and say “No”. They never expect that since that is considered impolite (perhaps even anti-social?) behaviour.
But yes, it certainly affects my moods especially when I kena at the hair salon. After a nice neck massage and hair pampering, you gotta go ruin my mood by trying to sell me hair serums that I don’t need… what la.
However, the worst type of hard selling in my opinion is by banks who call you incessantly to offer personal loans at “only” XX% interest. And also those who bombard my email with such advertisments. The irony of it is that those yang nak loan tak dapat approval, those yang tak nak loan kena bombarded every day. This type of pressure isn’t just annoying. It’s downright irresponsible behaviour on the part of the banks IMO.
~ end of rant ~
Confession: Yes, sometimes I give in to the flimsy side of me and cave in to buying something I am taken with but don’t necessarily need. What’s life without a touch of frivolity every now and then eh?
OMG my previous hairdresser would upsell me a hair wash using a premium brand, when i’m already in the chair and my hair is all wet. What la. I hated it and was more than happy when I found a new one who didn’t pull such a cheap stunt 😛 Oh and banks. If they call, chances are it’s insurance, or personal loan. Usually I cut them off by asking if it’s insurance or a loan. If they say it is, I tell them I don’t need it. Saves my time. I know it’s a job for them, but really, it’s the most irritating and I’m sure, most frustrating job in the world 😛
I am very certain of what I want and I will hunt for the product myself. I do not need all the harassment from the sales representative be it direct sales, retail sales or the telemarketers. I receive quite a lot of calls from hospitals, resorts, financial institutions (no idea where they got my number from) and they do not get beyond “I’m from so and so” before I cut them off and politely say “Sorry, I’m not interested”. They have hung up on me and some continued rambling even after I say those few words. But my answer is always “no”.
I have been called uncompassionate and been told that it is not easy for them. I understand all that but like you said “it’s my money and I should spend it how I want to, not how I’m pressured to!”
Ooh you know I get the same calls from hospitals and resorts. Is there some secret directory they cull from? It must be someone selling our numbers 😛 But my real rant here was when an acquaintance practically “forced” me to buy something I wasn’t interested in nor wanted, simply because it was a beauty product and it’s like I’m honour bound to buy because I’m a beauty buff. Jeez.
Hi, Paris! I can totally relate to the lock-in-a-small-room-until-you-buy-something experience. Kena once. Regretted it. Spent quite an amount on their skincare cause I did sign up for their facial package. Although the facial sessions really helped improve my skin condition, the aggressive attitude from the beauticians pressuring you to buy their products because its their “That month’s special” really tick me off. Regardless to say, after the facial package used up, I bit that place goodbye and never step foot into it ever again.
Normally for those skincare by the counters, I’ll survey their skincare sets available for that month and their catalogue at home. Survey their reviews and summing up the total amount that I’ll most likely to spend, making sure that its within my budget or within the amount that I am willing to binge before heading over to their counter to get what I want. Better this way as I’ll know when to say no. Works everytime. 😛
Ah you got that treatment too! I don’t go to anymore no-name facial places or salons, no matter how good they may be. The hard sell is real! Is it any wonder so many of us prefer to shop online? I know I do – lets me escape having to deal with SA. I’ve actually been so put off by some SA that I never look at a particular brand again. Yes I’m like that! LOL
Oh my gawd, PB, I do have a story to tell!
I met a dude on a dating app who said that he was a “healthcare and training professional” and I thought to myself, “Hmmm, this job sounds so vague, but never mind, as long as it puts food on the table” and thus went onto the first “blind date”, so to speak. We met over coffee and we talked over general things and it was pretty pleasant.
Onto the second “date”, and he invited me somewhere near KLCC and I was so excited because of all them romantic little cafes I heard of and I thought that he was bringing me there. Lo and behold, he actually brought me to a bloody convention by a very big MLM company (starts with N and the whole word has the largest organ in the human body if anyone is curious).
He practically cornered me and brought me through all them demonstrations, and at the end, lead me to a quite dodgy area of the building, sat me down and told me how depressingly in need of detoxifcation, skincare, health shakes etc I was with his accomplice. He told me that he cared for me and that was why he needed me to sign up for the plan. When I told him that I had no money, having barely graduated from uni, he said, “Never mind, I’ll swipe on my credit card first then you can pay me back slowly.”
I was out of there as soon as I could. I told them that I appreciated their concern but I was really a poor fresh grad who had no business in all this.
I actually met him for a banana leaf lunch about half a year later, because he promised that he wouldn’t talk about his company again but he did at the end so I cut him off.
Moral of the story: Do be careful when you use dating apps. I have personally been through one MLM marketer and I heard from him that a lot of insurance agents are now using it as a platform to gain more customers. I think these guys are even more annoying than sleazy dude-bros.
My God Hanny, that is quite a story! These MLM things really really piss me off and I’ve decided I’m not doing anything that even remotely deals with direct sales anymore. Direct sales are basically just a form of MLM anyway and really, so many of their products are over priced. I often wonder how they can brainwash their members so effectively that they basically act like robots and not see the downsides of the brand. Then again, quite often it comes down to greed because many people are in it not because it’s effective, but because of the promise of money 😛
Hi Paris!
I can totally relate to your story. A ‘friend’ asks me if I wanted to hang out and being me, I couldn’t say no to a hangout when a friend started to invite me out first. The next moment, he started to introduce me to the MLM scheme, etc for 1 hour. I was pretty adamant in not buying anything at all because I was still unemployed, and I can’t believe I wasted 1 hour of my time to this ‘friend’. I flat out said “No, I’m not interested” and he was still promoting. Before we leave, I said “the next time you try to find me out for tea, I will say I am in my dreamland”.
Since this incident, I kept my friends circle small and if there are any ‘friends’ whom haven’t been in contact with me for a long time and suddenly asks me to go hangout or have a cup of tea with them, I would just reject it, more so if I know they are in MLM schemes.
MLM schemes aside, salesperson’s job is to persuade us to buy things and I normally just give them a smile instead of saying no because being Asian, it can be seen as rude. But sometimes, I would just give them an indirect answer of not interested at a product.
Sigh, you know, the moral of the story when someone you haven’t heard from in ages suddenly wants to hang out, the odds are they’re trying to sell you something! I’m glad you didn’t give in, no matter how heartless it may seem. In my case, it was an acquaintance, who was peddling some beauty products and I was basically arm twisted into buying it even though I had no interest in it whatsoever! Harder still when there are others sitting there watching – it’s churlish to say no then, but I was seething all the way 😛
When someone who we haven’t heard from in ages suddenly contact you, they might wanna throw the “red bomb” at you. Happened to me. But before the red bomb, she even come stay at my place in her way home from Singapore to Kedah. Not long after that she threw the red bomb to me. I made a special trip back to my hometown for her wedding dinner, gave her a big angpow ( in my salary standard ). Then when she got pregnant, she informed me as well. I congratulated her. Lesson learnt. Since then, haven’t heard from her. I was somewhat heart broken because I receive her as I cherish our friendship , yet she was just using our friendship for her advantage. Sorry for this off topic rant of mine.
Oh Lord, I hate that red bomb. I was once served with a “summons” by someone I’d only met once. ONCE! WTF. I didn’t even go for the dinner and I had to pay for it. Pissed me off big time. Not auspicious start to a married life you know, having people curse and swear at you LOL! But I’m sorry to hear about your friend. I have found that sometimes, people we thought were old friends turn out to not be very much of friends, as we grow up or as they have families. Instead, I’ve found that people I meet along the way in life, have turned out to be better friends than people I used to know from way back. I guess we all change and mature with circumstances and then their place is done.
I usually find it difficult to say no, and sometimes I get sucked into buying little items. Sometimes I don’t mind the things I buy because I will use them, but the most annoying are telemarketers and MLM. Friends who never thought of calling me before started asking me out to go out for a cup of coffee. I was surprised how firm I was in saying no. I was actually quite annoyed. The meeting ended with me telling her that we could do coffee in future, but if she started selling, I’d cut her off. Wah, I was so proud of myself for being firm. LOL!
MLM really gets my goat. At least with insurance, you’re getting something of value. With MLM, it could be something really substandard, but sold at a high price. I can say no quite easily then LOL but in this case, it was someone who wanted to sell something, and in front of others basically made me buy it. I feel silly now, but it would have been churlish to refuse then. But next time, if there’s a next time, the answer will be a firm No.
Now that I’m older (and hopefully slightly wiser), I’m getting better at saying no to stuff I don’t want. And if a SA pressures me to much, I just don’t go back to that counter again if I can help it.
You know, with online shopping these days, there’s hardly a reason to even visit a counter anymore 😛 At least for me because sometimes I just find it easier to buy online than to deal with SAs LOL!
I wear my big smile and I just say, no thank you, or, that first I need to finish other products! I’m not even ashamed to tell that I don’t have money at that time (In this case, they feel embarrassed and regress). But with friends is another story…
I’m going to pull the “no money” trick next time! Thanks Amalia! 😀
Ahhh, I absolutely hate this kind of sales pressure! I ger uncomfortable when even salespeople try to talk up their product to me in stores – it’s an almost surefire way to turn me off something.
I’ve now resigned myself to the fact that sales people need to do their job, but I’m quite firm in refusing what I don’t want or need. This incident for me was primarily in a social setting, which was far more awkward than I liked
Hellllloooo Paris, I would first like to say…. i have a thing for storage containers too & i find it so difficult to tear myself away or trying to find means and reasons to justify why I need one more storage container in my room ??? i am so glad someone actually understands too
& I have been through trial sessions of various companies having been recommended by friends or seeing their ads online and wanted to try for myself whether or not it works and sometimes they lock you in that room and you find it so difficult to say no especially when they are so insistent
I guess being a student helps & they usually ask for your occupation before they do anything & I will always put it outright. One time I was pressured to sign a facial package & it cost thousands of dollars & it was so difficult to get out of that one so i told them i had to call my mom and i ended up pretending to talk to my mom about it on the phone.
another time i paid $50 for the deposit since i thought i would actuallygo through with it but after I walked away, I decided the money that I was going to invest in that whole package thing could be put to much better use (it was close to $700).
i learnt my lesson. i’d never go for another trial session unless i’m absolutely determined that is smth i really want & all those people who has been calling me, i blocked off their numbers so i can avoid all those conversations or promises to actually meet up with them.
Hi Faith! Someone who understands my obsession with storage containers! haha I’m always trying to justify buying yet another container and yet, my cupboards are still disorganized. Goodness! LOL I’m usually quite good at saying no to signing up for any packages these days. But that’s also because I’ve stopped going for trial sessions unless it’s by a brand I’m comfortable with. I went for a Sulwhasoo trial facial, but they had no hard sell. Didn’t even try to sell me anything come to think of it LOL! 😀 Oh you know, the ability to block numbers on the phone is such a God-send!
Some would guilt you into buying a package from them. Personally, I hate it. I don’t care whether it’s facial etc. I don’t appreciate being guilt into spending my hard earned money. I will buy / sign up a package IF I think it suits me. Many years ago, an ex classmate asked me out for coffee. She brought her bf along and someone else from her MLM group. She pressured me into becoming her downline and I refused. That someone else from her MLM group told her to cut off ties with me. Lol. Good for me, really. I don’t need friends who only want to be friends in order to take advantage of me.
Yep that guilt trip happens a lot more with friends or acquaintances I find. I can’t believe that a total stranger would tell your friend to cut off ties with you just because you didn’t want to sign on as her downline! How rude! You absolutely do not need friends like those.
I never let anyone pressure me into buying something I don’t want and I have no problem saying no! My money, my perogative. The ones I really hate are the charity muggers who try to get people to sign up to a regular direct debit donation scheme on the spot, they were becoming so aggressive in the UK that new laws had to be implemented a few years ago to protect people from them.
Goodness, they try to make you sign up for direct debit deductions?! That’s terrible! It’s good that the government realises that it’s a problem and does something about it.
Oh my, the times that I am put on the spot, I always try to wiggle out but find it hard to because it can come off as unkind. I don’t know. Generally I have a don’t-give-an-f attitude but when it comes to strangers/servers etc, I just find it hard to say no.
When I first came to the UK, I got approached by someone on the streets trying to get me to signup to one of their direct debit schemes for some cause (I forgot) and I had to put so much effort to say no (in the end I just said I was below 18 and am a student, thus had to ask my parents — and walked away). Uhh.. it makes it hard when these people walk right up to your face and start talking.
I’m actually quite interested in your getting-locked-in-a-room experience! And I wonder what brand hahahaha (I’m gonna guess it starts with a D?). These facial places back home, in my experience, always tend to pressure you into buying these packages. When I went to one just to inquire about the prices, they sat me down, got tea/coffee/biscuits/water/ etc..brought the whole catalogue and started explaining… makes it harder to just leave.. so in the end I just said I’m in a hurry and ran the hell out. Sigh.
Sometimes make me feel so guilty to even utter the word ‘no thanks’ after they’ve pulled a whole stunt like that
You know I get really unnerved by people who approach you for things on the street? My first instinct is to run LOL I guess I just don’t trust anyone coz there are so many scams out there these days! Actually that locked room experience was with Jurlique (I don’t mind saying so coz it happened and I was so pissed with them as I was a paying customer, I decided to blacklist the brand forever 😛 ) The hardsell here is real and now I am very selective about which salons I go to. In fact, I just don’t go to any LOL! I just buy a facial as and when I want one, from a skincare brand I trust. My experience that prompted this post though, was in a social setting – an acquaintance put a product before me and said “Aren’t you buying?” and I wish I could say no but it was just one of those awkward settings when there are a few people around and everyone’s looking at you. Next time though, I’ll say no or to put it more easily, that I have no money on me 😛
Oh, I have so many stupid stories where I guilted myself into buying something.
I’m pretty easily influenced. I’m getting better at this, but when I was younger, if an SA helped me, I would feel pressured to buy whatever they suggested to me and outright buy it.
This happened a couple months ago, I went into this store just to browse. I made eye contact with the security guard and immediately started sweating thinking, “I hope he doesn’t think I’m going to be shop lifting” When I was just about finished browsing and was ready to leave, I saw the security guard again. So then I bought a notebook so he wouldn’t think I was stealing. XD
Oh dear, I have to admit I had to laugh at this. I know how you feel. Sometimes, if a SA has been particularly nice and I’m looking for something anyway, I might just spend. But things are a little expensive here now, so it’s a lot easier to say no or that I’ll think about it. That’s what I usually tell them. If they’ve been nice, I go back and buy from them when I’m ready. There’s this stationery shop here, where they have pens towards the back of the store and I think it must be a blind spot, because every time I go back there, the store assistants will be right there, at the end of the aisle watching as I choose my pens. It’s awkward and weird and I’m always made to feel like I’m shoplifting 😛
Ah MLM a topic close to heart. I have experienced how ‘destructive’ the whole mlm concept is. my ex bf was prepared to ditch his degree to expand his ‘business’ with the N company!! To generalise I think there 2 types of MLMers- those that are totally sucked into the wonderful and fantasy world and truly believe their products are great (most of are this type no?) they live for the products and truly believes they are helping you! Another type, in the minority are those that KNEW the products are overpriced and value blown out of proportion but doing it for their perceived financial freedom.
Reading the comments I have concluded that ladies- we have been too kind for far too long…!! Maybe it is just so inherent in us? We are so afraid of offending others that we have allowed ppl to trample on us. Well ladies, this has to stop! I have been through that and these days, I urge all of you, we can stop being nice to people who DON’T DESERVE it. Instead of saying and apologizing sorry I have no money try saying ‘even if I have 2 million in the bank I would not buy it, thank you so much’! and finish it off with a sweet smile. You don’t have to stop going for trials in beauty saloons. If this is too drastic for you, consider leaving your credit card at home to eliminate chances of succumbing! No credit card, no damage, no regret ?
You’re absolutely right about how destructive MLM can be. Money is truly the root of all evil as they say. You are also right that for the most part, most of us try not to rock the boat and to just keep the peace. In my situation, I did not appreciate being put on the spot in a social setting, to buy something I had no interest in. It was awkward and I wish I had said I wasn’t interested, because I wasn’t. It was not expensive, but it was the principle of the thing – you don’t try to force an acquaintance you’ve just met to buy something off you on the pretext of showing support. As it stands, it’s made me very uncharitable from now on.
Been there before and still struggling with it! LOL
Everytime I step in to get stocks for my skincare/make up, I always end up getting more than what I had initially planned to get :p
Recently I find that people are selling products on Carousel (or what ever other shopping platforms). Wondering if I should do the same…not sure about how hygienic it is, but if the buyer doesn’t mind then I might give it a try!
I’ve seen people selling on Carousell and some people I know have scored some good deals there too. But not for beauty products, mainly clothes and toys and the like. But as you said, there’s no harm trying – lots of pictures should make it clear enough the condition to buyers 🙂
I dont really have a problem because I have a resting bitch face and the SA is scared of me. Plus being so diva I dont really get the problem
LOL 😀 In my case actually, it was a social setting where I was “forced” to buy something and that really bums me more than if it was an SA 😛
I think I only feel pressured to buy when I’m in Asia… no one gives a hoot about me here in Germany! Not sure if this is the culture (unfriendly Germans!) or if the salespeople shy away from me because I’m Asian and I don’t speak German (their English is not very good)… either way, I win. Hehe…
It’s interesting. I wonder if it’s just in Asia that sales people are more pushy? Is that just our local psyche? I mean, look at Sasa LOL I feel pressured whenever I’m in there, primarily because I’m always made to feel like a shoplifter in there 😛
It happens often when you are forced to buy something you don’t need when you are shopping at Parkson or Isetan… Just to top up to the spending amount to get some vouchers.. To spend the vouchers you need to spend another 10-20 ringgits too.. arghh
ROFLOL! You know, the worst part is that after that, I don’t know what to do with the vouchers 😛 So often, I’ve had the voucher expire on me without my knowing.
Oh yes the vouchers tactic. I used to spend more in order to get that Rm10 voucher. But now, as I’m wiser ( older ) I’ve learnt to do proper calculation. If I need to spend more than Rm10 to get that Rm10 voucher, then I’ll pass. I don’t need to pay more hard earn money to get a voucher with lesser value. Plus you need to spend more in the end in order to use the vouchers.
Actually, that’s how I accumulated so many containers in my house. When I get the vouchers, I head straight for the household department and buy something LOL! If there’s something I have my eye on, I buy it. If I don’t, I look for the cheapest item with the least top up 😛 Usually, that’s a tupperware box or cooking utensil LOL!