Online privacy is something I am rather particular about. I know this is a strange statement coming from a blogger who for the most part appears to live my life in public but I keep a large part of my life private from online prying eyes. This was primarily the reason that I never got into using Facebook on a personal basis.
I input very little information when I first signed up but yet, Facebook was able to link me up with people I’d gone to primary school with. I found it very unsettling. When the requests started coming in from some people I’d rather not stay in contact with, I fled that social platform. Then I started blogging and I suppose the fact that all of you know me through my pseudonym pretty much says it all 🙂
I’m curious if I’m the oddball in wanting to retain a large part of privacy in this information rich age, so I’d love to hear your thoughts on this 🙂
I wondered about this when we were talking about Youtube beauty gurus last week, and I suddenly realised that all your recs were wonderful, but so many people know so much about these online personalities! The rise of reality TV and homemade video blogs help fuel this and for some people, gives them the opportunity to perhaps, show off. Not overtly so, but covertly.
I have noticed sometimes that some photographs which would be better viewed privately end up online in public photo albums. I have seen people show pictures of the houses where they live, complete with address or if there is no address, the photo is of the house address. Worse are car number plates complete with the full car plate. How many people know that a simple search of a car number plate can disclose your home address? Some of us may not intend it, but the fact is, this sort of information can be harmful.
I have also seen people list their phone numbers online and photographs of their families. In many ways, I get it. Online, we can turn our humdrum mundane lives into an example of the glamorous life – parties, clubs, good eats, happy families … but that sort of information can be used against us or even be used to track us down.
For myself, I try where possible to keep my private life private. There are some things I prefer not to discuss or disclose. I suppose you could say that where I can, I keep things general and generic. Nothing on family, where I live, what I own and what I do. I sometimes feel like Clark Kent plodding away at the Daily Planet in his day job, until it is time to switch over to the glamorous life as Superman. Haha! 😀 It took me a long time to decide to upload my photos on the blog. I realise that the web hasn’t imploded because of it (haha!) but its still something I prefer not to pepper my blog with, and I usually only share photos where necessary.
In this day of sharing and oversharing, I realise much of how I personally operate is pretty old-fashioned 🙂 Its a personal choice I made and one I am not likely to waver on. I’m not saying its the right nor proper thing to do. I can tell you that it does stunt growth as a blogger but its the private path I’ve chosen to walk down.
So, I’m curious. how private or public are you on your social media channels (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) or your blog?
Paris B
I find that you are a private person. It is obvious by the way you write and/or reply to emails and comments.
Some people love to post their pics (especially clubbing because it is happening) online. I, on the other hand, love to keep things private. I don’t post my pics on FB; I post food pics instead. Hehe. Then, I’m not on a mission to acquire and accumulate God-knows-how-many-friends for the sake of it (some people do acquire and accumulate “friends” for the sake of it, and of course, popularity). On a side note, if not mistaken, FB has the right to use any of our pics uploaded on FB.
Oh thank you Angelina 😉 Yes, I do try to be a little more private – a little mystery helps right? hehe… 😉 I don’t get these Facebook friends accumulation thing. Its like accumulating points 😛 I know of people who actually buy fake followers but then they have an agenda to get freebies and stuff. Its complicated 😛 I didn’t know that about FB being able to use people’s photos! I knew they tried to implement that in Instagram but after people complained and people shut down their accounts, they withdrew it. Doesn’t mean they’ve shelved it though. But since IG is owned by FB I’m not surprised that FB has a similar policy 🙁
Interesting topic, Paris. I think it depends on how comfortable that person in sharing. I would say I take things in moderation. I don’t expose everything, but I do give some sneak peeks here and there. Some part of me want my readers to know more about me, but some part of me get paranoid too. I took all my photos off FB once they set that new rule, and I even deleted everything off Instagram because I shared too many photos of my kids. So in the end, I decided that it’s still OK to share but just bits and pieces. Then something happens, like getting a weird email, and I’ll delete everything again. LOL! I’m fickle like that…
Yep, some people are definitely more open than others. Personally I’ve always been private so it just translates into my online life 😉 I’m glad I never got into the whole FB thing. Its just far too stalkerish for my tastes 😛
Due to the fact that I have so few subscribers, my social networking accounts are mainly personal, so yeah, I’ll basically post everything that is relevant to my personal life there.
I don’t have many Facebook “friends” because I’m very particular about whether I know them in real life.
I think its useful knowing the limits of our social profiles but yet, sometimes things slip through that shouldn’t. That said, I have found that it may be a generational thing. The younger generation is more open about the things they share online but those who are older tend not to. Could just be a case of acceptance in the one case, and suspicion on the other 😉
I think the only public thing I put on my blog is my face, I rarely talked about my personal life. I guess I’m just not comfortable telling everything in the blog, especially we don’t know who is reading it.
Exactly! We never know who’s reading and how the info can be used against us one day. I don’t get how some people can put up pictures of their houses and cars online though. Its just so mind boggling.
I guess among my friends, I am more private. Although I use facebook, I don’t always post pictures and I tend not to link things to my facebook. Phone numbers are no no for me on social media! Already we get random sms n calls certain days from scammers and what not, so I’m not about to open myself to more of such things…
Absolutely on point, Sue. I think so much of our personal info is already being sold and distributed here and there, we shouldn’t be helping things along by publishing it everywhere online LOL 😀
It always pays to be careful. You never know who is reading your info. Wa, house address and car number plate in full view? Pengsan!
Yeah, its mind boggling right? But the thing is, for some people, they may not realise the info is out there. E.g. some people take pictures of their friend’s houses or cars and then upload it. I am quite particular about that so I enforce a no-camera policy for people who visit LOL Not that there’s anything camera worthy but I’d just rather not have pictures floating about 😉
Yeah, that’s really strange. I don’t do that to other people. If I really want, I’d take those ultra close-up of one item, so that people can’t see the background at all. If I take mass photos, I just keep them for keep’s sake.
I don’t like people doing that to me… post and tag me. It has reached a point, I shut down all those tagging thing.
Yes, unless its a public photo, I prefer not to have other people show up in my photos too. So you get hands and clothes but not faces haha! I think we have to be a little courteous. The same way I’m not for people randomly taking photos of people in restaurants and on the street and then posting it online as an example of what not to do.
I had to shut down my old blog once because some creep started to “stalk” me in real life – he got my personal info just with an email address and even went to the extend of harassing my friends for my info but I can’t fault no one but myself for not exercising more discretion back then. After that, I’m careful to keep my private life private! Your Superman analogy is cute, but is one that I can totally relate to! Maintaining two sets of social media is tedious but it has to be done! Hehehe! 😀
Some people let it all hang out (ie. bitch about their bosses, lash out at their boyfriends / relatives, etc) on social media. While I think that its their right to have the freedom of expression to say what they want to on their own social media accounts, I personally prefer to keep such grouses to myself. So while I share about my life more liberally on my personal Facebook account, I’m still careful to not divulge too much (mostly just I just post about funny stuff I’ve came across and vacation pictures). I’m also quite picky about who I choose to add as friend so hopefully my stuff stays private. That being said, I highly doubt anyone would be that interested in my mundane life anyway to share it with other people! Haha! 😀
Yikes! You had a stalker! O_O Work emails are the scariest I think. I sometimes see people walking about with their office name tags on show to the world and I just wonder why they don’t just tuck it away in a pocket instead of displaying your full name and working place to the world 🙁 Its fun leading 2 different lives isn’t it? Haha… I suppose I have it easy because I only have 1 face to the world. The other private face doesn’t have a social media presence 😉
I’ve read about too many people getting fired, robbed etc just because they shared more than they should on Facebook. Seriously, do people think everything on Facebook is private? The recent arrests based on FB postings are exactly reasons why we should just not say anything too racy online and keep our thoughts to ourselves (or at least just bitch in private hehe…)
Your post made me ponder how much I exactly share on my Facebook account. I only upload photos of my travels and gathering with friends on my Facebook which can only be viewed by friends. I have also limited the number of friends that I have on this site and rarely add new people unless I know them pretty well. Other than that, I rarely upload or change the status of my day here. I guess that is my way of ensuring some form of privacy in my life.
I think it is quite scary to upload pictures of your home, car and also to provide your house address and phone number to the public. That is really asking for trouble as you do not know the type of lunatics that are lurking around. Better to be safe than sorry.
That’s wise to only share with friends, Victoria. But if I recall from FB, sometimes friends of friends can also view certain photos, or if they have a mutual friend? Something vague like that. I never understood it so I chose to just ignore it LOL If people tag my picture I untag myself because I just dont’ want to be seen online. But yeah, people just don’t think sometimes, about what they say or share online. And the other thing is, info online stays online. Deleting it sometimes doesn’t help!
I am definitely more of private person, of course when one is into blogging you have to share some details about personal life and it becomes automatically but there are few things which i would like to keep private! I guess moderation is the key here!
I agree with you about blogging, Parita. In many ways, we do have to let our walls down a little and I’m actually quite glad that blogging has forced me to get out of my shell a little more. Doesn’t mean I let it all hang out of course, but at least I’m less retiring than I used to be 😉
For me, I do not overexposed myself to the social media. I even created two FB account one for my personal life with my close friends (generally ppl I do know to certain extent) and another just for work. I do not add my colleaugue because I am not comfortable mixing both. Mywomenstuff is the 1st blog I really replied too because after reading so long, everytime I wanted to share my views I just ‘chicken out’ because I’m worrying the effect of over exposure. hehe..but I like your style because it makes me feel comfortable reading and replying to you. 🙂 And the rest of the ppl here are really friendly and humble too…double the comfort:)
2 FB accounts! I actually have that too haha! One I never log into that has no info in it that I set up only to add family (and then abandoned) and another I had to set up to set up the FB page for this blog. I think its sometimes wise to not mix personal and work because you just never know how things will pan out. I’m glad you’ve delurked and started chatting with us here. I too love how warm and friendly everyone is. Its just beauty, Leona – nothing controversial I promise 😀
It’s very astonishing how much information one can pick up just from simple googling. I google myself frequently and I get friends to search for me on LinkedIn to see how the search returns me. (I’d prefer not to be returned in google but I’d prefer to be returned more in LinkedIn but I’d need to work harder on updating my profile TBH)
For me personally, I’m a little bit of both. I’m trying to slowly remove my data on facebook and overwrite that with fake information so FB doesn’t have a true picture of me. It’s a long and tedious process but well worth it. Will tell you about it one day 🙂
Oh yes, far too much info on Google for my comfort! I too do the Google myself thing once in a while just to make sure there’s no info lurking about that shouldn’t be LOL! I suppose I’m glad I’m not on any more networking channels because those will need my full name and that’s something I keep very close to myself 😉
I wish I had been wiser when I started my first blog when I was thirteen. It was a private Livejournal, my online diary. I’m still in touch with a couple of people who read my diary for 5+ years and I don’t even dare to read up on my past myself because it’s embarrassing. The older I became, the less I wanted to share. Long-time followers know my name, where I’m from, what I look like and I’ve always been super peculiar about staying ‘mysterious’ and hence interesting online. I wish I had never published a portrait photo, but I’m a circle lens blogger, so that’d be ridiculous. But I cut out a LOT of information on my private Facebook profile because I work for the government and also protect myself by giving out as little personal information as possible. But then again I don’t want to delete my Facebook profile because it lets me stay in touch with my international friends. But if I were to start all over again, I’d do no photos, little information, maybe my age and that’s it 😀
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, Anna. On the up side, you have friends from those days who I’m sure appreciated what you were sharing 🙂 But I think a lot of it has to do with what we’re blogging about too. In many ways, beauty blogging or food blogging or niche review blogging doesn’t need us to show our faces at all. Its why I didn’t for a couple of years. But then I also learnt that when I did, it was actually helpful to people. As you said, you can’t blog about lenses and not show how they look when worn 😉 Still, I’m just not the sort to post my face all the time. I actually still really dislike taking photos LOL!
For all the 8 years I’ve been blogging, I have never uploaded pictures of myself (or anyone I know IRL) on there. I might mention them (not even by name), but I keep people out of it for the most part. I’m not crazy enough to post very specific information either. I would consider myself an old-school blogger like that 😛
As for Facebook, I only have it because I got grandfather-ed in from when it was (really) for students only. Thank goodness for the lists – that way I can post stuff for certain groups of people only. My profile on there also has pretty secure settings – can’t be found on search engines, the works. I don’t even have all my family on list (I’m not that stupid), let alone let perfect strangers in.
Actually, it makes you an unusual blogger, Synical. Most old school bloggers I am aware of were the sort to show off 10 photos of themselves in one post and share intimate details about their lives … and they still do 😉 On my personal blog (when I was still blogging on it) I do pretty much what you do. I just write and hang the photos and personal details. I do realise its not so progressive on a blog like this one, hence slightly taking down the walls a little but keeping enough of it up to keep out the unwanted attention 😉 People still give me a funny look when they ask for my Facebook profile and find out I don’t have one. Its like I’m living in the dark ages LOL!
That’s not old school enough, haha… With the stuff I blog about, let’s just say it’s better for me that no one I don’t know IRL knows what I look like… 😛
Haha well your blog name pretty much speaks for itself! 😉 I’m sure you aren’t all that prickly IRL 😉
Great post Paris; I actually wrote a post about this topic awhile back but I will only publish once my new site is up, haha. But it’s about privacy and social media too, and I think this is a good topic to talk about – I too see a lot of home addresses being tagged (or where people are at the moment) and I’m like “what are you doing?!” Sure, maybe I’m a bit paranoid (do check out my post once it’s up, I think I’m a little on the extreme side haha) but I think in this age, anything can happen and it’s better safe than sorry.
I too took a lot time (like 2 years?) before I really opened myself on the blog; I don;t mind sharing general things about myself like I would to a stranger (“what’s your ethnicity?”, etc) but for the most part I try my very best to keep as private as possible. My only regret, I guess, would be that I wish I never revealed my full name; you are very smart to have used a pseudonym 🙂
x Renee
A new site, Renee? Cool! Will wait for it 🙂 All this tagging especially on Foursquare really bugs me. I don’t see it so much anymore but I used to see people tagging themselves at their home (so I know their home address) the bank (so I know where they bank) their regular cafe (so I know where they hang out) and the friends they are with (so I know who else to stalk!) Its just far too scary for me to fathom. I don’t think you’re paranoid at all. Its always better to be safe than sorry. You don’t want to be in the news for the wrong reasons nor be a statistic 🙂 I think using a pseudonym was the best thing I ever did 😉 Perhaps if you want to downplay it, you can just stick to using just your initial?
Haha, thank you 🙂
Great topic, as usual, Paris! I think to each his/her own. I myself love to read a variety of blogs–it’s interesting for me to sometimes get some insight into a blogger’s personal life because I feel I already know them so well but I also read just as many blogs that don’t give much personal info at all. Still, I do think just a touch of your personality is always a nice way to connect with readers and give them a little “treat”, so to speak. Like the pictures that you showed of your vacation, etc.
Giving readers a bit more information is something I’m actually trying to work on. I am very uncomfortable even posting pictures of my face out there for all to see (though I do like to post pics of my dear Lady :P). But I do think a little personal anecdote injected into my posts every now and then would be good. 🙂 It’s all about balance and whatever you’re comfortable with, I guess! 🙂
I know exactly how you feel about posting up a photo of yourself. Its really really scary because you never know what sort of reaction you’ll get. It took me about 2-3 years before I did and till today I still feel uncomfortable about it. I hate taking photos of myself so that is the biggest mental block to get over and then finding one that I’m satisfied with showing the world is the other. If you don’t think putting up a photo adds anything to the discussion then I don’t see why its a requirement for beauty blogging 😉 Its helpful to see products and colors in action, but not necessary 🙂 Little personal anecdotes are fun though. Nothing too open. I talk about places I travel to only because I don’t have a travel blog and need an outlet haha but I never blog about where I’m going or tell people when I’m away and for how long. I only ever share after I get home just to be on the safe side 😉
Pardon me for butting in.
But I need to say, me too. When I first started, I didn’t. I just stuck strictly to products.
I remember the trepidation when I first posted my picture. Sometimes, I still wonder how I overcame that.
LOL, Paris, I totally get you about the needing an outlet comment. I weave in food and travel too. And healthcare stuff, like healthy-eating and exercise. Just don’t know where else to put it.
The funny part comes when those “other” stuff are actually more popular searches than all the beauty blogging. My mind does start wondering why Bangkok hauls, milk, and cheesecakes are popular. Does this happen to MWS too?
I know how you overcame it Jyoan – the way I did – developing a thick skin! 😀 Actually like you, its my other posts that get the hits a lot of the time. E.g. a hotel review or even just a discussion piece. I think sometimes, there are just too many posts/reviews on one item especially the popular ones and especially when there’s a new launch so the bigger blogs and websites will drown our little ones. But when we write about something a little less covered, then we pop up in the searches. Its all very esoteric and I can’t even begin to explain it myself! But my most popular post has to be about shampoo and acne. Still bringing them in years after I wrote it! 😀
My Facebook account is only for family & close friends. I don’t even complete the profile thing i.e. where I live/from? etc. I’m not active on Instagram and most of the pix are my pets. ^^ As for Twitter, I >>>try<<< not to give even a hint of personal info. Although I might unintentionally disclose something when I get bored at some places/people.
Haha i know what you mean about Twitter, Sandra! Sometimes I write something and then delete it just so I don’t give too much away. Its like we want to vent yet we want to keep things private. How la like that? 😛
I agree with you. I use a psuedonym, although it is not as secret a psuedonym as yours. While I do mention what family members I have, they are pretty generic, such as, I have a mum, and I have a partner.
I prefer not to reveal where I stay too. Although in Singapore, it is easy to guess. We only have that many square kilometres, and that many malls.
And I will never talk about my schools or work. I think that is just really crossing the boundary. When it comes to personal history, I stick to beauty history, makeup and skincare. That’s what my blog is about, and that is what people are going to get.
Smart move, especially in a smaller city like Singapore! 😀 I am always a little perturbed when people rant about their work or bosses or school in public. You just never know when that rant will come back and bite you! But as you have said, our blogs are about beauty so that’s pretty much all we’re focused on and anything else is a bonus! 😉 btw, your other comment went missing 🙁 I saw it in the spam bin and rescued it but it disappered. Sorry! 🙁
Oh, the one on the previous post?
On a side note, I must say, I much prefer the automatic-sign-me-up for updates system in the past. haha. Nowadays, I forget to check the box, and often don’t see your replies.
Yep, the Nvey Eco one. I remember it was available in Singapore but I also remember it was quite pricey. Pity. As for the check box, I’m sorry it has to be elective now. Some people complained and my server suffered because some people use fake email addresses and it causes it to bounce etc. So this way, only people who really want to receive an email get one. Sorry about that!
I am private on my facebook. On my instagram- I am definitely more careful, I dont post my face, my family etc. but on instagram would be easier to say what I am interested in.
Loving your pictures on Instagram and the little glimpses of the city where you live! I try to stay pretty generic there too but then pictorial beauty can come in all forms can’t they? 😀
On Facebook, I maintain filters, so different people will get to see different pictures 🙂 As for my blog, I doubt I will ever show my face, same as how my real-life acquaintances will not know I blog/instagram etc. It’s really just keeping different worlds apart from one another.
Wise me about Facebook, Candy 🙂 I keep my real life and online life separate too and there aren’t many people in real life who know that I blog. Just how I like it 😉
I’m private usually too. Perhaps due to a suspicious mind? haha.
Anyway, i could relate to your “fled” the fb platform scenario you’ve described coz’ I abandoned my account when i found it rather overwhelming that people i rather not be in contact with are popping up to make contact. Freaky seriously. However, i did recently picked up fb again recently. This time, i limit my account to really, really close friends and in private groups with shared interests etc. I just don’t really trust these social media platforms but have to admit it is useful and has it’s advantages at the same time.
Haha yes, suspicious and paranoia perhaps? 😉 I do realise I’m possibly missing out on close friends’ lives by not having a facebook account but then I also realise that sometimes its just better not knowing or having to know everything about everyone. So, when we do meet, we have lots to talk about as we fill each other in, instead of just tagging each other online 🙂 But that’s just me. Old school 🙂