I like to think of myself as being a very practical person. Almost brusque in my practicality.
Yet I have a drawer and boxes dedicated to letters, postcards, notes I’ve received over the years from family and friends. I can’t toss them out – they hold memories. Letters. Remember those? They were written on paper and came in the mail. These days, all that come in the mail are bills or junk mail and sometimes, not even that!
I have things I may not use or even like, but I keep them because they were gifts. I don’t get rid of some clutter because they were gifts or because they hold memories.
I thought those were just an abberation. For the most part, I am quite firm in knowing what I want and taking the necessary steps to ensure that I get there. Yet a recent episode has taught me that I’m perhaps a little more sentimental than I thought I was, and it made saying goodbye just that bit harder.
Without going into details, lets just say that there’s been a lot of up and down going on, which causes me a lot of frustration and unnecessary stress. I have been looking elsewhere for alternatives and I think I have found it.
Yet, because I have been where I am for years, inertia, sentiment and maybe even fear of the unknown has made it hard for me to break the bonds and take the first step to facilitate a change. When it involves people, I try to give them the benefit of doubt and the abandon them, simply because we’ve known each other so long. And yet, when they fail you time and again, I start to wonder if I’m not just being a sentimental old fool. I should be headed somewhere better!
I always thought that it wouldn’t happen to me, but realistically, it has. The fear of the unknown is about as real as the frustration of the known. The realization of this isn’t pleasing, naturally but having realised it, I hope to now confront my personal fears, sweep aside the sentimental feelings and just make that change. It sounds a lot more dramatic than it really is (honest!) but its one of those things I guess I have to confront at some point, sentimental old fool that I am 🙂
Do you consider yourself a sentimental person? How sentimental are you, really?
I never quite considered myself “sentimental” or someone who holds on to the past. But as I’ve come to realise, I am in actual fact a lot more sentimental than I originally thought. In many ways, it holds me back but now that I realise it, I hope to make that change and move forward 🙂
Paris B
I’m very sentimental and I demonstrate it a lot, I have the idea that feelings are a crucial part of life; although that it’s problematic too, because being sentimental sometimes can’t let make you do the things you need to do without a guilty feeling of being too rude.
You’re right about that but its nice that you say that you are sentimental and that you demonstrate it because so many guys choose not to! Good on ya 😀
I totally know where you are – it’s so hard to uproot emotional bonds!
Even though career-wise I’ll be better, it’s so comfortable where I am now and it makes me sad to leave.
Ah once you put down roots, it gets really hard to uproot. And sometimes, almost painful! But when its got to be done, its got to be done – good luck Kuri! 😀
i don’t think i am a very sentimental person…but well, who knows right? you will never know what you really are until you experience something
Precisely! I thought I was practical. Turns out I’m not 😛
I like to think that I can move on without being sentimental as well, but sadly, I don’t.
*Case in point*
I used to HATE the color orange. But ever since running with a bunch of crazy friends in the student elections, I love the color now because it’s our party’s color. I even got a cheongsam in orange HAH HAH HAH.
Haha wow a cheongsam, Hanny? I still don’t wear cheong sams – too aging on me 🙁 But what a fun memory of a colour!
I am quite a sentimental person myself. I sometimes spend time thinking back about the past especially some good memories. Just the other day I was thinking of my younger days when my brother would come back with some new CD, enlightened me about a new computer game and where we will spend many hours watching our favourite English football team on television and the conversations that will flow after that. Now that we live on our own and hardly see each other, I miss those days. But I guess this is part of growing up and cannot be avoided. I do not think that reminiscing about the past in this sense holds me back from who I want to be. Unless of course it is about leaving your comfort zone for a better future.
I know what you mean. Sometimes, it feels like things were so much more simple or happier in the past. Yet, if we don’t look forward, we can’t move forward. What a conundrum! 😛
Sentimentality encompasses a wide spectrum and I’d say that everyone has a degree of sentimentality within. And there is definitely an overlap with comfort zones. Sometimes, we find it hard to move on not only due to emotional attachment but also to that we’re simply too lazy to get our behinds unglued from the seat…and that gets worse with age LOL!
My childhood saw me being uprooted many, many times due to dad’s work commitments and I think that I learned not to form emotional ties too easily because saying goodbye and leaving things behind can be pretty traumatic for young minds and emotions. While it’s not exactly the easiest thing to do, I also learned that if I let go of the past, it’s much easier to move on and focus on the present / future. All too often, we walk on the path of life with our heads turned backwards trying to cling on the past (an obviously futile endeavour) and fail to see the new opportunities that open up in front of us. These new opportunities are what keeps us from becoming jaded and uninspired in life.
I suppose to that extent, I’m probably a bit less sentimental that the average in that I don’t find it hard to discard material things or say goodbye to people. I’m a firm believer in that people waltz in and out of your life when you need them and they need you the most and that relationships as mostly transient. The main exception is my family and I can be terribly sentimental about holding on to what I see are family traditions.
I agree with Isabel here. I can be very sentimental when it comes to my family but other than that I am ok. I used to be worst but now I can let go and say goodbye with a smile. People come and go and I believe, the best is yet to come! Cheer up PB!
Thanks! Its time to learn to say goodbye with a smile as you said! 😀
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Isabel 🙂 The few times I grabbed the bull by the horns and forcibly uprooted, as it were, it all turned out for the better. Never mind the pain and stress and tears that went along with it. I still am sentimental about certain things but I’m learning to stop hoarding clutter because that too holds you back 😀
It is only human to have sentiments. Though sometimes when we realise if the past is keeping us behind, we really have to be resolute and do what’s good for ourselves 🙂
Go make that change, Paris!
I think the realization is the catalyst to move forward! Thanks Charlene!
I’ve always known ever since that I’m a very sentimental person. So what came as a shock to me was realizing at one turning point in my life that I can be as practical as I am sentimental.
It might also be because I am so sentimental and that I value ‘feelings’ a lot that to prevent further damage to what I hold dear or have grown so familiar with, I can flip some switches in my heart so I can become practical enough to make firm decisions. I believe that in whatever we do, whichever decisions we make, there are always risks. There’s always something to gain and something to lose. But if letting go means saving the little good things and memories left before they are totally wiped out by an ongoing series of disappointments, I would let go. Not only can I possibly save whatever good memories are still left, but I can also walk away with the sentimental side of me still intact. And I need that sentimental side to stay happy, positive and whole. 🙂
That’s a lovely way to think, Vivi, thank you for sharing. I must learn to be like you and flip those switches so I don’t get too caught up in what I perceive to be sentimentality and forget the practicality of things. I do pride myself on being practical but it would appear that sometimes, cracks appear where they shouldn’t 😉
I grew up with a mother who always lamented about the past. Things she wish she could have changed, or just always thinking about how much better her life was in the past. She was filled with regrets. I guess that sort of changed my outlook on life. I rarely look back. Only forward. I can’t change anything that’s come before, I can only look for a great future.
Thank you for sharing, Marla. You’re absolutely right about having to look forward Marla. If we keep looking backwards, we could just trip and fall and never progress! 😉
I’m not usually sentimental in everyday life. In fact, some people even feel i’m too level headed etc. But i am when it comes to long standing friendship and kinship. E.g. I do miss some of my loved ones who have passed away and seeing certain things do bring back flashbacks and sentimental emotions at times.
I’m pretty much like you Lisa 😀 Level headed to a fault but yet, when it comes to family and close friends, sentimental to a fault! 😀
Aww Paris…a big hug to you 🙂 No matter what you are going through or have gone through, I hope the future brings more promising stuffs. As a person, I am a bundle of emotions. Drama queen, sentimental, melodramatic, sensitive, transparent…I am generally a person who is very bad when it comes to handling emotions. I get attached to not just people, but a certain memory or even things. I used to buy shoes, bags and clothes and kept them…waiting for the right moment or day and I will continue to cherish that item. Songs, smells, photos, text messages, a particular road that I have frequented or even some silly memories will keep playing in my head. I am a person who doesn’t want to live in the present, can’t leave the past and fear the future.
Growing up and older certainly didn’t make things better…and to think that with age, letting go would be a lot easier? Alas I proved myself wrong and it only served as a reminder that I will continue to be the emotional person that I am. This is precisely the reason some people fall in and fall out of love with me. Moving on for the betterment can be the best or worse thing one can do but sometimes that’s the only thing that one must do. Take care, brighter days ahead 🙂
Thank you Jennifer 🙂 Am seeing brighter days ahead already (nevermind the overcast rainy sky lol!) I am quite the opposite of you but you know what? You are probably the sort who will enjoy and savour every bit of your life so you have those memories to keep, good or bad. That’s a plus point too because it means that you will give your all, and not be like cynical ol’ me and hold back… just in case 😛
I hope thing work out for you in the end, whatever your decisions are, without regret. When it comes to sentiment, I always look forward. The only time I look back, it’s usually when I am making a change and feel a bit apprehensive. It’s human nature to feel fear at what faces us as we go forward. Aside from lovely memories of the past that makes me go, “aw”, if someone or a job has disappointed or is unhealthy for me, I am done. It sounds very extreme, black and white, but when I decide to do that it has been a long time coming. I am too old for pointless drama! I have a hormonal “tween” that gives me plenty of day to day drama!! 🙂
Having just read what wrote, I seem harsh. I am sentimental in weird ways. Like I always wear a bright fuchsia pink nail polish on my toes in the Spring and Summer because it reminds me of the color I wore for my wedding (cheongsam) and my Hubby loved me in that color!!
I didn’t think you harsh, Rose 🙂 In fact, its probably healthy because as you have said, we really don’t need the pointless drama in our lives if we can move on and be happier without it!
Thank you Rose 🙂 I think we sometimes cling on to what makes us feel comfortable because uprooting can throw our lives into upheaval and really, we only want calm and balance in our lives right? 😀 But you’re right. We have to learn to identify the things that bring us down and chop off that deadwood and move on 🙂
Hello, I am from Singapore. Although I don’t put on makeup regularly but I like to read your review/ recommendations for skincare products – you are one of the people who kept me going on taking care of myself.
I hope you will discover or decide your next step in life soon. I guess most people will go through that phase of questioning ourselves – I have also been questioning myself for the past 1 year! Also hoping to make a next step soon. Let’s try to set fear and doubts aside. 🙂
Hi Peiqing, thank you so much for leaving a comment! I’m happy to know that you enjoy visiting even if makeup isn’t something you use often. I’ll try to share more skincare tips/products/news to come 🙂 I hope you too find the courage to take that next step – Its so hard, but once its done, it should (hopefully) just get easier 😀
I am sentimental, Ive always been. It was easier to keep all these thing living in huge home than now in apartment.
I kept most of my toys from my childhood. Now I keep pieces of gift wraps, all shoes boxes even if they take so much spaces-bah, I even keep receipts of bags, shoes, nice restaurants… Until recently I even kept every carton package of my creams and cosmetics (nonsense) … I also feel like today not many people print picture, well, I did recently, it cost a fortune but its so much better to see these pics in album than on monitor!!
I can analyse again over and over what happened YEARS ago, I can think to my friends when I was a child.
Its tiring sometimes, I have to fight with my feelings to dont clutter my space, I have to convince myself to let things go but on the other hand its something poetic in it. Today I feel people dont care too much about past, I feel like most of my friends dont appreciate things which they got or which happened and I feel like I do. Maybe Im wrong 😛
Moving house is the best way of getting rid of clutter and sentimental “junk” 😀 I sometimes wish I could move just so I can do that! Its of course impractical 😀 I don’t find being sentimental a fault though. As I mentioned to Jennifer in a separate comment, I think it may actually make you a better person than I am because you will savour every moment of your life so you have those memories to hold on to. I think we need to care and appreciate what we have/experienced/get because it makes us better people, not cold. Letting go is cathartic but sometimes, holding on is just as cathartic. There’s no right or wrong, we just live our lives the only way we know how and the best we can! 😀
I truly am a sentimental old fool. A few days ago, I finally threw away all the old letters and memorabilia an old boyfriend gave me (it wasn’t an amicable parting of ways). I don’t even know why I kept them for 7 years but it felt pretty damn good throwing them away. I have ticket stubs from my secondary school concerts, stickers I used to keep, perfumes that are so old I can’t even use anymore but can’t bear to chuck because they were gifts and so on. Along with the old letters I threw away, I also packed away 3 big bin bags of clothes that are at least 10 years old. Now that, THAT I almost cried when I put them away.
My home in Melbourne is so small yet full of things. Things that were gifts and memories that there’s no way I can throw away. I’m just that kind of person. A sentimental old fool.
Haha At least you recognise that! I too have some baggage I should get rid of but as luck will have it, I can’t find it now, so that’s probably a good thing! Maybe I tossed it all out in my last cleaning frenzy but as you have said, tossing out things associated with unpleasant memories can be very cathartic. Its a physical way of just saying I’m letting go and moving on, and that’s really a good step forward! Nothing wrong with being a sentimental old fool, in my view. Sometimes, it makes us appreciate things more.
Hello Tine! Me too, I used to find it really difficult to part ways with my clothes. My husband encourages me to sort out the old ones for donation and I used to hate him so much for even suggesting it!! I mean, NOBODY mess with my stuff!! :p
But then, one day I plucked up the courage to do just that, and it felt good. The second and subsequent times of doing that became easier.
My next challenge is to bin old shoes. Ouch.
*hugs* paris~ i hope you feel better soon and do what you want to do 🙂
i am not sure where I stand, depending on what and who I am dealing with, I may or may not be sentimental. not sure if that’s a good thing or bad thing though…
Thanks Plue 🙂
After nine years of living in London I have come to realise that I am actually a very sentimental person, and the older I get, the more sentimental I am!
I think its worse when we are away from home! Its part of the reason I couldn’t continue living overseas 😀
Hello Paris! I have been away from your blog for so long and I am missing many posts!
By now, I hope that you have felt better about the thing(s) you were dealing with. Sentimental quality is not always a bad one. Just, not on the extreme side, ok? 🙂
Life still has to go on. I live by a motto my husband once told me: if something is unpleasant and you have to deal with it anyway, it’s better to deal with it with smiles (from your heart) than with a bad feeling. It is difficult of course, but we have to try. Of course I don’t stick to that motto for every instant because I want to show my bad face sometimes too. hahahahaha
I am sentimental about letters/greeting cards/postcards as you! I never throw any of them away. And it’s true about that you said that we become more sentimental when we’re away from home. The first time ever in my life when I received a letter from my mum (she wrote me a recipe, chicken stir fried with ginger, as I had zero cooking knowledge then) while in the UK, I totally broke down. :p It’s just a recipe, for goodness sake! But knowing that my mum took the trouble to write it, and my dad took the trouble to post it meant so much to me. Of course, these days she will just Line message or Tango call me. Agggh… I can’t be sentimental anymore, can I? :p
Thank you for sharing your input, Ting! I absolutely remember receiving a letter from my mom while I was away and I totally dissolved. Mom just wasn’t the sort to write letters and back in the day, letters were the only way to know what was happening at home. Ah those were the days eh? It might explain why people these days are less sentimental. Everyone’s so connected!