Peekaboo! Hello friends 🙂
You know what? This one week of not blogging, and not even looking at the blog or anything related to it has been liberating. It has also made me miss it more than I realised. I wasn’t planning to be back this quickly, but I have because I missed it, I missed talking to you and I also had my epiphany moment after talking to a couple of friends.
But first, I want to thank all of you for your kind comments in the previous post and on email. It means a lot to me because its made me realise that I am reaching out to people who share the way I feel and who can relate to the way I think and do things. I think MWS has grown far beyond just me, the blogger; its now about all of you who chime in ever so often with your input, and I embrace and am humbled by the growth and support. Group hug anyone? 😀
While I was away, in a bit of a limbo and a rut, there were some things I did that helped me get out of that rut and I wanted to share them with you. We all face a rut sometimes, whether in our work, personal lives, passions and perhaps this can help you get out of it, the way it helped me 🙂
Take time off
This is the first thing I did. I identified the source of my frustration and I took time off. For me it was an overlap of work and the blog so I took time off both. I actually took the week off work and stayed home. All I did was spend time with myself, not bothering about the demands of anything except my tummy – just zenning out. On some days, I sat for hours just looking out the window… and on my birthday, after a stormy afternoon, I saw the most beautiful double rainbow right outside the window, so close I could almost touch it. The wonders of nature never cease to amaze me and the message was clear. It maybe stormy but at the end of it will be a lovely rainbow 🙂
Clear your clutter
We all have clutter, whether we realise it or not. It could be clutter of random items filling up the nooks and crannies of your home, or it could just be closet clutter. So I sat down and cleared my clutter. I went through drawers, tossing out things that I’d kept “just in case” and things I’d kept “because I’m not sure what to do with it”. Take a big black bin bag and just toss. If you have not looked at it or thought about it for months (or in my case, years) its time for it to go. I took to my store room and cleared out my shoes. Tossed out the ones that were beyond repair and that I never wore anymore, and set aside those that are still wearable but that I don’t. Tossed out old shoe boxes and rearranged things so it was neat and tidy again.
I then did something I’d been wanting to do for a long time. I set up my study/home office 🙂 One trip to the hub of home organization, Ikea and I finally had a proper work area. Next on my list is a good comfortable work chair and I’m all good to work from home whenever I need to (or blog, whichever is relevant) 🙂
If you believe in feng shui, one of the tenets is exactly this. Clutter encourages the pooling of stagnant chi when what you need is for chi to flow. A very simplistic view, but it helps clear your mind even as you clear your clutter. Tossing out things helped get rid of old ghosts too. My next project is my closet and I plan to be brutal about it! (and then I can justify clothes shopping yay! 😉 )
Spend time with friends
Make that good friends. Friends you can have a laugh with. Friends you can sit around and talk crap with. Friends with whom you feel as comfortable in your T-shirt and shorts, sitting at a streetside “dai chow” restaurant eating good food while being bitten by mosquitoes, as you are dressed up in your finest and having la-di-da drinks in an up market restaurant. Friends who see you are on a hiatus and deliver gifts to help that hiatus along – scented candles and lavender tea. So zen now, I’m horizontal 😉
Figure out your strengths and what you want to do
2 friends spoke to me separately about my taking a blog break, and what they said stuck in my head. One said to be sure I was doing what I wanted and enjoying it; and the other told me to ignore the external stresses and not to let them get me down. That was what triggered my epiphany.
I realised that I quite like my day job. Its challenging and keeps me in my creature comforts and frivolities and luxuries so I’m not about to give it up just yet. I also like blogging. It allows my creative side to develop and I love writing my thesises… theses? thesi? LOL Ok, my blog posts 🙂 I have a new found love for photography too. But I also worked out that I don’t enjoy blogging about makeup looks.
Doing looks or makeup and taking photos of myself just isn’t my speciality if its not related to how a product works. My strength lies not in my makeup skills, which are rudimentary at best. The thing I do best is apply lipstick – kid you not! 😉 I can’t interpret looks, nor can I even pull off anything very elaborate, mainly because its not something I am all that keen on. Sounds sacrilegious I know 😀 I like seeing how things work and making them work, so I wear enough makeup to look polished, but I’m not an artist nor am I very imaginative. Art was never my favourite subject, writing was. That realization was helpful because I don’t have to feel any more pressure to conform to the perceived mould of a beauty blogger for better or worse, and I can get on with what I love 🙂 Of course I’ll still provide swatches and how a product looks wherever necessary. Helpful things like that won’t change but knowing what I dislike and coming to terms with it helps 🙂
Oh and there’s also more to beauty and being a woman, than just makeup or skincare. It might not sit well with some, but it pleases me to talk about other things that I like too from time to time. If doing this breaks the “beauty blogger” label, c’est la vie! I’m comfortable with it 😉
Learn to say NO
Yummilicious Chocolate Banana Loaf Cake @ Zang Toi Cafe Parkson Pavilion KL
One of the key tenets to living a happier life is to learn to say No. Its hard sometimes, but when it has to be done, it has to be done. So, I now choose to operate on a “Do it my way or no way” principle when it comes to demands on my time and effort. Knowing your worth and knowing what you want to do helps a lot in saying that one syllable word “No” as it does in saying that other one syllable word “Yes” 🙂
Its ok to get help
More often than not, we want to sort out our problems ourselves where possible. But realistically, that can sometimes make things worse as you sit around digging yourself deeper and deeper into your rut. They don’t call it a rut for nothing! So, get help. Someone to give you a hand to help you climb out of your doldrums. Someone who has the skills you need to achieve the goal you want. Its ok to get help. Sometimes, that’s the first step towards heading back to normality 🙂
Look on the bright side
Positivity begets positivity. I talked about this once before, but it is worth repeating. When dark clouds are overhead, its very easy to allow yourself to be dragged down. Finding the bright side and focusing on it is the challenge, and something I forced myself to do. It does help you know. When I started looking on the bright side of things, and stop being so morose and negative, I have had quite a few positive experiences, and so long as I don’t waver, it can only get better.
What do you do to get out of a rut? Do you sometimes feel like you’re just stuck with no way forwards nor back?
There maybe some changes going on around the blog, or there may not, and there maybe a couple of bumps in the road while I get my blogging mojo back, but for the conceivable future, hey! I’m back in action! 😀 Thank you for sticking it out with me, everyone. Regular transmission should resume shortly 🙂
xoxo
Paris B
Swati says
lovely post, Paris and you are right about positivity 🙂 glad that the break helped you 🙂 and, welcome back..waiting eagerly for the regular transmission to resume 😀
Paris B says
Thank you Swati 😀 Positivity begets positivity but finding that silver lining is sometimes the hardest thing to do 🙂 Regular transmission should resume very soon 😀
Lavender says
Hi Paris
In case you are interested to read more abt the meaning of a rainbow
http://www.biblestudy.org/question/what-does-a-rainbow-symbolize-in-bible.html
EL says
Now where am I going to get a slice of that yummy cake at this hour of the night?!
welcome back!
Paris B says
Hahaha sorry about that – tomorrow maybe? 😉 Thank you EL
HapaGirl says
I love your wisdom, Paris. Your words really spoke to me, as I am a graduate student who is always “go go go!” but rarely stops to figure out what TRULY makes me happy. I will try to follow your lead and give myself space to breathe and be happy whenever I can. And remember, Whatever you choose to do, we will all be here to support you!
Paris B says
Thank you for the support and for all your kind words here and in the previous post. It means a lot to me! And yes, we get so caught up in the rat race that we forget about the most important thing of us – ourselves. We all need a little reminder and refresher once in a while 🙂
Lisa says
Welcome back!
As you went on a hiatus, i went on my ‘mini’ one too. Ha!
But yes. A break from my pc and what’s app as well. I feel so much better from these little breaks. Sometimes i feel that i’m chasing after too much information online etc and replying to too many conversations/expectations on what’s app. A break was good to set priorities such as to what is important to reply and knowing when to stop giving out too much at times etc etc… And most importantly, it assured me that it’s ok not to be a slave to technology and yes, learn to say no to people and it’s really ok not to meet expectations of others.
Thanks for this timely post. It’s a great breakdown for one like me who can’t take any break from work for now to ponder over these pointers. I’m going to read it a couple more times and drill the points into my head to stay focused. First of all, i’m going to declutter my makeup stash this weekend in half an hour. A time limit will help me decide quickly what really i need/like/will use and don’t need/gone bad/disdain ? 😉
Can i say this again but I’m so happy you are back! 🙂
Paris B says
Thank you so much for the warm welcome back Lisa 🙂 I’m really happy to be back too, and although I do find it hard to wean myself away from technology, I must say that the few times I have, I feel absolutely liberated. Its like without all the need to be constantly connected all the time, we can actually live and enjoy the moment. Something that doesn’t happen much anymore right? I hope your decluttering session went well! 🙂
Kay says
Hi Paris, what a great post! I’m glad you are back and feeling good and whole and centered again 🙂
I think your decision to blog about things in life aside from valuable make up tips (I started tightlining and love it!) is a terrific one because I also love your tips, comments, observations about life, etc. and the discussions they trigger. Heck, anything you write about is worth reading!
Please continue to take care and if you post less often or take more vacations, that’s perfectly fine. We love you but you owe it to yourself first to be healthy. Life is too short to not enjoy the now!
Paris B says
Hi Kay, thank you so much for the support and encouragement. Means a lot to me to know that not everyone is here just for the beauty stuff (although that will always be the mainstay of the site 🙂 )
Mari Ohira says
I do need to follow some of your tips! My place is a mess and I need a break from work – it is very rewarding, but it can get very stressful. Besides, my blog has been abandoned for ages! I really need to clear my mind and get my things organised. But for the time being, an escape seems a good alternative. =^.^= I’m travelling soon to visit the capital of my country.
Paris B says
That would be Brasilia? 😀 I remember that you had started a rewarding new job the last time we “spoke” so its great to know its going well for you. But a break from work is always welcome! I hope you have a great time 😀
Mari says
Yes, it is Brasilia! I’ve been to Paris and I have yet to see Brasilia! Shame on me! Brasilia seems to be a great city for architectural sightseeing, so I’m very excited to go there. I’ll show you the pics later.
My job is indeed very challenging and I love it to bits, but do I get tired from it! It sucks the life out of me… And the trips revive me! It’s a great combination. 😉
Paris B says
I know how you feel, Mari. There are parts of my country that so many tourists visit and I’ve never even been there! Its embarrassing for me to admit it LOL Hope you enjoy your trip!
Pearl says
Hi paris, sorry I just realized u posted up today..i ve been missing u! Welcome back n I hope everything goes well with u! And I m so glad to hear that happy voice behind the text
Paris B says
Oh no need to be sorry, Pearl 😀 I think its going to take a while before it cuts through everyone’s consciousness 🙂 Thank you and its good to be back!
Leila says
First of all, WELCOME BACK! It’s nice to know your time away was refreshing. I really missed your posts, didn’t realize how much they were a part of my day, even though I did have other blogs to read (and I usually don’t miss most of the others when they post less). I think I’ve said it before, but part of the reason people stick to certain blogs is because we like the “voice” that comes through in the writing and I certainly missed your voice Paris!
This post resonates with me, because over the past year or so, I’ve been in a sort of rut myself. I’ve already been trying a lot of the things you’ve mentioned and it helps, but somehow, it’s still nice to see it all out and see that I am along the right path.
Surprisingly, the one about clutter turned out to be quite important to me. I’m not a messy person in the slightest so when I let clutter build up, it’s awful, so I’ve learned that even with important things to do, I shouldn’t let keeping it under control slip from priority.
What I wouldn’t give to go abroad somewhere for a couple of weeks! It’s been a while and I do love travel. A change in atmostphere (and climate) would be refreshing. I don’t have the opportunity now, because of studies, so I’m looking forward to next year when I finish.
On another note, I like that you don’t force yourself to exclusively stick to makeup and skincare, it gives nice variety to the blog and sometimes it’s refreshing! Some of my favourite posts were about travel advice! Just keep doing what you like, because that’s best for you and it shows through. After all, you are doing this for free.
Oh what a beautiful rainbow! Nature’s birthday present to you ^-^
I have always loved the symbolism associated with them, hope and beauty after the storm. How did you manage to photograph it so well? I always have such trouble with them.
Looks like I’ve written my own thesis of a comment! Anyway, glad to have you back and a belated Happy Birthday!
Paris B says
Hi Leila! Thank you so much for the very uplifting comment. I am most gratified and very happy to be back again amongst my online friends 😀 I’m also very happy to know that not everyone here reading is here just for the beauty stuff (which will remain the mainstay of the site) because it can get a bit stale doesn’t it? 😉 I love writing about travel too. I wanted to branch out into a travel blog once but didn’t travel enough to justify it. Still, I will be sure to slip in bits and pieces now and again. I think we all enjoy that.
I only managed to get this rainbow so clearly because it was quite literally outside my window. I opened the curtains and there it was! It was quite surreal. Most of the time, we just see it in the sky don’t we? Thank you so much for taking time to leave a comment 🙂
ceej says
welcome back! glad to see you writing again. *hugs* from manila
Paris B says
Thank you Ceej! *hugs* back to you from KL! 😀
Ting says
Welcome back, Paris! 🙂 glad to know you had a good break and shooed away the dark clouds. 😀
Since I don’t have the luxury of having extended peaceful time outs at the moment, when I feel pressure mounting to a summit, I will go for full body massage, hair cut or just walk aimlessly in a department store by myself. Before I have a family, I loved to bury myself in waterstones (the bookshop) reading everything. Usually children books are good because they are simple, creative and funny. 🙂
Paris B says
Thank you Ting! 😀 A full body massage is a glorious luxury. I had one over the weekend after a very long time and I’d forgotten just how wonderful it can be! It must be nice being able to have good and affordable massages where you are – and you’ve just reminded me that I haven’t gone on my annual Bangkok trip – gotta remedy that 😀
Becca says
YAY Paris–I’m so glad you’re back! I was already starting to have MWS withdrawals!!! 😛
And again, I’m so glad you brought up the “makeup looks not being your specialty” thing. I’ve been practicing for so long trying to improve my makeup skills so that I could finally start posting FOTDs on my blog, but I finally realized that it wasn’t happening bc I wasn’t interested in it! Applying makeup isn’t my strong suit either–I just like learning about the products and talking about them and playing with them. But I’m not creative when it comes to doing looks–I have a certain way that I like to look and I stick with it for the most part. But because its a pretty minimal look (most of the time) that doesn’t show up very well on camera, I decided why change how I do my makeup (i.e make it darker, bolder, brighter, apply more, etc.) just to post FOTDs? No one should feel bad if they aren’t good at something–just focus on what you love and people will appreciate your passion!
Paris B says
Haha Thank you Becca! Its good to be back 😀 I’m glad you understand how I feel about the makeup looks thing. I have done it and I know I can but its just not me. I never liked the camera and am only really tolerating it now 😛 I do find that putting together a look does help people visualize how to use a product especially eye and lip products. I think that’s helpful within a review post so I will try to do it whenever I can. It will just feature less from now on 🙂 You’re doing a great job so don’t feel the need to change either!
jk says
Hi, greetings and welcome back PB. Rejuvenated, revitalized and raring to go! Blog on!
Paris B says
Thank you JK! 😀 Blogging on! 😀
LSY says
I’m little late but welcome back!!! So good to know that you have sorted things out. I just came back from Shanghai and remembered your post about Shanghai when I was visiting the museums and walking about, I guess my point is, your blog is more than just a beauty blog, it is how you connect with your readers and how you tell your stories that makes it so engaging 🙂
Paris B says
Hi LSY thank you for the hearty welcome and I am so gratified that you remembered my post about Shanghai! 😀 I hope you had a great time – did you go to the museum? It was such an eye opening experience for me. I love sharing these little bits of trivia (because I like collecting them) and I’m very happy that so many of you are here not only for the beauty stuff 🙂
Jennifer says
Hiya Paris! I’m so happy to see you spring back into good form 🙂 All’s good! Welcome back. You have read my mind again 🙂 Your post was something that reached deep into me because I’ve been stuck in the rut for the longest…but was afraid to press the pause button, seek sanctuary time, grab time out etc to reorganize my life and thoughts. And I haven’t done so even.
But I’m so glad that you did it which was the proper and responsible thing to do. We all owe ourselves that but often we end up taking ourselves for granted in pursuit of other things. Nothing brings more warmth than to see you back and your post is filled with so much sunshine and joy that it shines through in the post itself.
Year end is fast approaching. I honestly don’t know how I’ve led this year. I too, hope that I will do some self recollection and be with myself again. Thank you so much for sharing this…you’re more than a beauty blogger, but a friend, confidante and sister that I know I have 🙂
Hugsss!
Paris B says
Hi Jennifer, thank you for the hearty welcome 🙂 I remember you haven’t been having the most wonderful time this year, but I think as you said, you owe it to yourself to hit the pause button and centre yourself. Its the only way to move forward without losing balance so I hope that before the year is out, you find a little time to just call a “time out” and get things on even kilter 🙂 You know where to find me if you need a sounding board 🙂 *hugs*
Cece says
Hi Paris,
Blog about the things you like. Anything at all. I, for one, have become your loyal reader because I like the way you write 🙂
*hugs*
Paris B says
I appreciate that so much, Cece. Thank you! *hugs*
Sam says
Fantastic post Paris, well done. You make some points that are very valid to me – especially the ‘say no’. Most of the people I know don’t know I blog so they tend to underestimate my (sparse) free time.
I’m going to bookmark this post and come back to it.
Love your home office!
Paris B says
Yes, and when we have the spare time, we just want to spend some me-time right? Its important to say no because I think we will eventually thank ourselves for it 🙂
Jen says
So glad that you’re back Ms. Paris! Btw, do you know the ‘Secret’?
It says that when you dwell on the negativity, the more it will stay.. The more you think of negative thoughts or ideas, the more it will likely to happen..
So you have to stay positive, and always think of happy thoughts or positive ideas.. And to really get the positivity going or flowing, you also have to get rid of the negativity that surrounds you.. May it be people, ideas, thoughts or things that has a negative effect on you.. Hope that helps! 😀
Paris B says
Hi Jen! It’s good to be back and you’re so right about the Secret! I came across it a few years ago and tried to practice it when I can. It doesn’t get me parking spots in malls all that easily still, but for attracting positive and negative energy, I have noticed that it works. When I’m feeling up, good things happen and when I’m down, it sometimes can feel worse. So importantly, it’s good to look on the bright side where possible. Hopefully then we do only get the good stuff right? 🙂
Janesapphire says
Wow..its great to have you back!! Finally, there’s good post to fill my day once again. You have surely inspired a lot of us to start writing (myself too) and discovering what we enjoy. Like myself, i enjoy more on trying body care items, skin care and something just some random stuff. :-))
Paris B says
Hi there! Thank you for the welcome back 🙂 I’m glad to have inspired you to write and that you’ve learnt what brings you joy. It’s what makes life so good 😉
Rosa says
I’m a bit behind the times, but I am glad you’re back.
Paris B says
Thank you Rosa 🙂