Peekaboo! Hello friends 🙂
You know what? This one week of not blogging, and not even looking at the blog or anything related to it has been liberating. It has also made me miss it more than I realised. I wasn’t planning to be back this quickly, but I have because I missed it, I missed talking to you and I also had my epiphany moment after talking to a couple of friends.
But first, I want to thank all of you for your kind comments in the previous post and on email. It means a lot to me because its made me realise that I am reaching out to people who share the way I feel and who can relate to the way I think and do things. I think MWS has grown far beyond just me, the blogger; its now about all of you who chime in ever so often with your input, and I embrace and am humbled by the growth and support. Group hug anyone? 😀
While I was away, in a bit of a limbo and a rut, there were some things I did that helped me get out of that rut and I wanted to share them with you. We all face a rut sometimes, whether in our work, personal lives, passions and perhaps this can help you get out of it, the way it helped me 🙂
Take time off
This is the first thing I did. I identified the source of my frustration and I took time off. For me it was an overlap of work and the blog so I took time off both. I actually took the week off work and stayed home. All I did was spend time with myself, not bothering about the demands of anything except my tummy – just zenning out. On some days, I sat for hours just looking out the window… and on my birthday, after a stormy afternoon, I saw the most beautiful double rainbow right outside the window, so close I could almost touch it. The wonders of nature never cease to amaze me and the message was clear. It maybe stormy but at the end of it will be a lovely rainbow 🙂
Clear your clutter
We all have clutter, whether we realise it or not. It could be clutter of random items filling up the nooks and crannies of your home, or it could just be closet clutter. So I sat down and cleared my clutter. I went through drawers, tossing out things that I’d kept “just in case” and things I’d kept “because I’m not sure what to do with it”. Take a big black bin bag and just toss. If you have not looked at it or thought about it for months (or in my case, years) its time for it to go. I took to my store room and cleared out my shoes. Tossed out the ones that were beyond repair and that I never wore anymore, and set aside those that are still wearable but that I don’t. Tossed out old shoe boxes and rearranged things so it was neat and tidy again.
I then did something I’d been wanting to do for a long time. I set up my study/home office 🙂 One trip to the hub of home organization, Ikea and I finally had a proper work area. Next on my list is a good comfortable work chair and I’m all good to work from home whenever I need to (or blog, whichever is relevant) 🙂
If you believe in feng shui, one of the tenets is exactly this. Clutter encourages the pooling of stagnant chi when what you need is for chi to flow. A very simplistic view, but it helps clear your mind even as you clear your clutter. Tossing out things helped get rid of old ghosts too. My next project is my closet and I plan to be brutal about it! (and then I can justify clothes shopping yay! 😉 )
Spend time with friends
Make that good friends. Friends you can have a laugh with. Friends you can sit around and talk crap with. Friends with whom you feel as comfortable in your T-shirt and shorts, sitting at a streetside “dai chow” restaurant eating good food while being bitten by mosquitoes, as you are dressed up in your finest and having la-di-da drinks in an up market restaurant. Friends who see you are on a hiatus and deliver gifts to help that hiatus along – scented candles and lavender tea. So zen now, I’m horizontal 😉
Figure out your strengths and what you want to do
2 friends spoke to me separately about my taking a blog break, and what they said stuck in my head. One said to be sure I was doing what I wanted and enjoying it; and the other told me to ignore the external stresses and not to let them get me down. That was what triggered my epiphany.
I realised that I quite like my day job. Its challenging and keeps me in my creature comforts and frivolities and luxuries so I’m not about to give it up just yet. I also like blogging. It allows my creative side to develop and I love writing my thesises… theses? thesi? LOL Ok, my blog posts 🙂 I have a new found love for photography too. But I also worked out that I don’t enjoy blogging about makeup looks.
Doing looks or makeup and taking photos of myself just isn’t my speciality if its not related to how a product works. My strength lies not in my makeup skills, which are rudimentary at best. The thing I do best is apply lipstick – kid you not! 😉 I can’t interpret looks, nor can I even pull off anything very elaborate, mainly because its not something I am all that keen on. Sounds sacrilegious I know 😀 I like seeing how things work and making them work, so I wear enough makeup to look polished, but I’m not an artist nor am I very imaginative. Art was never my favourite subject, writing was. That realization was helpful because I don’t have to feel any more pressure to conform to the perceived mould of a beauty blogger for better or worse, and I can get on with what I love 🙂 Of course I’ll still provide swatches and how a product looks wherever necessary. Helpful things like that won’t change but knowing what I dislike and coming to terms with it helps 🙂
Oh and there’s also more to beauty and being a woman, than just makeup or skincare. It might not sit well with some, but it pleases me to talk about other things that I like too from time to time. If doing this breaks the “beauty blogger” label, c’est la vie! I’m comfortable with it 😉
Learn to say NO
Yummilicious Chocolate Banana Loaf Cake @ Zang Toi Cafe Parkson Pavilion KL
One of the key tenets to living a happier life is to learn to say No. Its hard sometimes, but when it has to be done, it has to be done. So, I now choose to operate on a “Do it my way or no way” principle when it comes to demands on my time and effort. Knowing your worth and knowing what you want to do helps a lot in saying that one syllable word “No” as it does in saying that other one syllable word “Yes” 🙂
Its ok to get help
More often than not, we want to sort out our problems ourselves where possible. But realistically, that can sometimes make things worse as you sit around digging yourself deeper and deeper into your rut. They don’t call it a rut for nothing! So, get help. Someone to give you a hand to help you climb out of your doldrums. Someone who has the skills you need to achieve the goal you want. Its ok to get help. Sometimes, that’s the first step towards heading back to normality 🙂
Look on the bright side
Positivity begets positivity. I talked about this once before, but it is worth repeating. When dark clouds are overhead, its very easy to allow yourself to be dragged down. Finding the bright side and focusing on it is the challenge, and something I forced myself to do. It does help you know. When I started looking on the bright side of things, and stop being so morose and negative, I have had quite a few positive experiences, and so long as I don’t waver, it can only get better.
What do you do to get out of a rut? Do you sometimes feel like you’re just stuck with no way forwards nor back?
There maybe some changes going on around the blog, or there may not, and there maybe a couple of bumps in the road while I get my blogging mojo back, but for the conceivable future, hey! I’m back in action! 😀 Thank you for sticking it out with me, everyone. Regular transmission should resume shortly 🙂
xoxo
Paris B
Welcome Back Paris, glad you’ve sorted things out. *Hug* *Hug*
Thank you Vissi! I’m glad I did too – missed blogging! 😀
Hi Paris!! Glad that you are back. 🙂
Great post indeed for your coming back post.
“It maybe stormy but at the end of it will be a lovely rainbow” is your sentence that i like the most. It’s what i would keep on telling myself, whenever i am down too. Although most of the times, it’s harder to look at the bright side when you are breaking down. Btw, you have pointed out a number of things that is relevant for our human sanity. (a bit on the dramatic side, hehe….)
PS: Yaaayyy for MWS upcoming posts!! Looking forward to it.. 🙂
Hi Nani, thank you for your support and kind words 😀 I did hope that what helped me will help someone else break out of their rut. Its such a depressing place to be in but you’re right. Its very hard to look on the bright side when you think its just all darkness and gloom all around, but I’ve learned to look hard because somewhere in that doom and gloom will always be a sliver of light 🙂
Yes, you are right, PB. I shall learn to look deeper and harder for that sliver of light. Thanks.. 🙂
Glad you’re back. I missed your posts.
I’m on my first week of a 3 week leave at the moment and I totally know what you mean by just zoning out at home. Although I’ve been more of a good girl and spent my afternoons walking/running at the beach to boost my fitness level. My next step is also to clear the clutter in my room but I still couldn’t find the motivation to do it yet. Procrastinating is way more fun. I will then finish off my last two weeks travelling solo to Siem Reap and Penang. I really want to have private time to myself without talking to family/friends but it’ll be impossible with my mom texting me every 2 to 3 hours to make sure I’m still alive. =_=
Thank you Liz, and 3 weeks! What wouldn’t I give for a 3 week break 😀 It sounds like you’re off to something good at any rate. Exercising is a good way to boost one’s spirits too. The first step to clearing up is always the hardest so do it this way – break up the room in to small manageable parts. Say, do your vanity table today, your bedside table tomorrow… that sort of thing. It gets easier and once you get started, its easier to move along. I know how you feel too about wanting time just for yourself. I’m sure your Mom means well and I was a little irritated with family too during the week but I realised that sometimes its better to be bugged than never to have family to bug you at all 🙂 Enjoy your upcoming trips! Penang is a gastronomic haven 😀
Very valuable, organized post.
And I admit to being very happy that your break was short!
Most of what you state makes sense,and not just for blogging. Thanks; I will try to apply this to my life. I am in the midst of a cleanout of my apt. and it has been eye-opening how much stuff I can really get rid of. Right no I’m having some difficulty in finishing my wardrobe purge before I start shopping! It’s oh so tempting to start already 😛
Hi Kuri, I’m glad it was short too 😀 Any longer and I might have forgotten to come back 😉 I did hope for the advise to work for everyone because I think we tend to get caught up in things a lot of the time and forget how important WE are 🙂 I can’t wait for the next public holiday break to get a head start on my wardrobe cleaning 😀
Hi Paris dear! *group hug*
I’m glad to see you here again. I’ll take note on all your thoughts. Lately I’m going through a pretty rough time with myself. I’m always thinking I’m not good enough and keep on comparing myself with others so that I’ll pressure myself to do better and better. I think in a way it’s good to keep myself motivated but in another way it also makes me feel even worse. I should learn more on how to accept the fact that some things aren’t my forte and however hard I try, I can never be good at them. I should focus more on my strengths and the things that I love and be good at them. Put more effort and enjoy them as I go along. Once in a while, I can take a step back just to evaluate myself to keep myself in check so that I am not so lost and still on the path I want to take. Thank you Paris for sharing your thoughts and experiences ^^ You’re not just a beauty blogger, you’re much more than that. You reach out to us too. We feel you. THANK YOU.
Hello Rin! *hugs* Thank you so much for your kind words before and now – means a lot to me 🙂 I think I know what you’re going through now because I’ve gone down that road too and its a really bumpy and rough ride. As you have said, having a basis for comparison gives you the push to better yourself, but there comes a time when we have to realize that sometimes, we can’t. We all have our individual strengths which is what we should discover and develop and nurture. There is so much we can do these days unlike before so don’t pile on the unnecessary pressure. There is a lot more to life 🙂
Wow….amazing what a break can do! I would love to have all that me-time to declutter and reorganize too…and thanks for sharing your thoughts. Welcome back! And you’re darn right…you ARE good at writing! 😀
Haha thank you so much GT! I can imagine you would appreciate the me-time, especially now. But I also know you won’t trade now for the world 🙂
Had to stifle a giggle when I saw “so zen now, I’m horizontal” 😛 But welcome back!! *hugs*
It’s about time I get around to decluttering as well – nothing like a clean canvas to start over on 😉
Oh yes, we all need that brand new canvas and you have one! Perfect excuse to start tossing out what you don’t need so you don’t carry clutter back and forth 😉 Thanks Bee!
{bear hugs}
I was happy to see your post update in my timeline this morning. Good to know the break helped, and it was a very efficient one since you got so many things sorted out during that very short hiatus 🙂
I hate clutters so I throw things out all the time. I’m still a firm believer that the blog belongs to you and you can write whatever you want. We got your back, girl 😀
*hugs* Thank you Lily! Yes, it was a very surprisingly efficient break – I’m glad I took it since it helped me put things in perspective 🙂 I wish I was as efficient in tossing out stuff as I go. As it stands, I have to declutter every now and then or drown, I guess LOL! 😀 Good to be back
Fantastic post! Glad to have you back one week felt like a really long time 🙂
For you too, huh? 😉 Thank you so much 🙂
Welcome back, Paris! *hugs*
Thank you Gio! 😀 *hugs*
it’s my lucky day. i feel that something missing in my daily reading, so i just tried to click your blog and here you are 🙂 honestly, i follow few bloggers, but PB yours is the one i love the most as it is not only about beauty that you write. so keep it up and at the same time enjoy life. spare some time to sniff the flowers or even drink it (i notice you have lavender tea, hehe)
love from bali 🙂
ps. perhaps holiday in bali? good idea 🙂
We must have a connection, Tuti! 😉 Thank you for your lovely kind words before and now and I’m very happy that you’re able to identify with what I try to put across. It gets really old writing all about beauty all the time 😉 Oh and I would LOVE to visit Bali again – seriously! I need some of that “babi guling” 😉
~Group Hug!~
So happy to hear that you’ve sorted things out. 😀
Gotta love Ikea for organizational furniture. Love the customization. And about work chair, better than one with really good back support. Comfort is king here. Don’t want to risk hurting your back.
And de-cluttering is my favorite thing to do. It feels liberating to get rid of stuff that has just been THERE (for no particular reason). LOL. And I “spring clean” my closet every year. 😉
Stay happy and beautiful! <3
Eeks! *hugs* Thanks Sze Ling! 🙂 I have to agree with you about Ikea. It cost less than I expected to get more than I originally planned so it was all perfect! I also realised that a good and comfortable chair does cost a LOT 0_0 But you’re right. With the amount of time I spend in it, its better to get a good one. I need to toss out some old clothes – I’ve had them hanging in the closet since I moved in years ago… and never worn them! >.<
welcome back!! i was sorely missing your posts. i think i shall declutter soon too 🙂 good feng shui!
Thank you Dom! Decluttering is chicken soup for the soul 😀 And good feng shui too 😉
Yay! You’re back. Although I understand the need for timeout, I also really miss having a daily dose of MWS.
I think you’ve said it all! Sometimes all we need is rest, sitting by the window and drinking tea. Enough. =)
Aww thank you Jyoan – it didn’t feel right not blogging either. I guess that’s what routine does to you 😉
I’m so happy you’re back Paris. I haven’t been commenting a lot lately because I’m superbusy with my new academic year and with some family issues. But I’ve been reading everything you wrote and I missed you when you were on your break. I’m happy to see you’re back and I’m going to follow your tips, they were just what I needed. x
Thank you so much S. Thank you for your support and I hope your family matters and school ease up soon. It must be rough having both on your plate at the same time, so don’t forget to take a step back whenever you need it. Things will work themselves out in the end 🙂
Welcome back!!!! Glad you came back because you ‘missed’ it and not because you ‘needed’ to. 🙂
I wish I can also take a break from everything and go into zen mode… not really blogging because I don’t think I blog enough but more from work and chores.
The part about decluttering is highly effective but sometimes really hard to do. I went through it during the recent long weekend and I was surprised to find 2 big black trash bags of things I wasn’t really using but still keeping for who-knows-why. I had freed half a cabinet’s worth of space from things I don’t use anymore — which in a way was sacrificing all the really good shopping prospects I had let go off because I thought I didn’t have space anymore.
Hi Vivi! You’re right – it would have been tragic to have to return because I had to so I’m glad it didn’t come down to that 🙂 We sometimes think taking time off is hard, but I’ve found that the hardest thing is to actually do it because I think some of us subconsciously fear losing out or missing out on things while we’re “away” so letting go of that and taking that time off is the first step to peace of mind 😉
Hi Paris, I don’t usually leave comments (altho I read almost all of your posts, unless I’m super busy :-D), but this time I couldn’t resist saying: Getting rid of clutter is sooooooo therapeutic!!! And that double rainbow on your birthday is definitely a Godsend just for YOUUUU!
Thanks for showing us that you are only human and not that superbeing that manages a full-time day job and a blogsite sooooooo d__n well!!! 🙂 Just blog about what you love and are comfortable with; people will read your blog for who you are, even if one day it ends up that most of your posts are not beauty-related, haha!
Hi Polly, thank you so much for taking time out to leave a comment! I think you’re right about the rainbow thing – it was a Godsend indeed. I’d never seen a rainbow within touching distance before. All your support means more to me than you will ever know – and not to worry. The beauty posts will keep coming but then, so will others 😉
Hi Paris, I have been following your blog for the past 5-6 years as far as I could remember. Although I comment very seldom now, but I do read all your posts. Of all the so-called beauty blogs I followed last time, yours is the only staple read now. I think you ought not label yourself/your blog, no such a thing say ‘beauty blogger’ or ‘makeup looks’, leave it to the fashion bloggers 🙂 I am comfortable with whatever you post. Cheers!
Oh Junni, I actually remember you from way back when! 😀 Gosh has it really been that long?! Thank you for all your lovely kind words – it means a lot to me, and you’re right. Labels are what we give ourselves and then we contort ourselves trying to fit that label so letting go is probably the best thing 😀 Thanks for sharing your thoughts – appreciate it!
Yes i believe once in a while every1 will have that roadblock…i experience that earlier this year n when i sat down, think through abt it, its the job that is dragging me down as i no longer feel motivated, so i took the plunge,left my company of 4 yrs & start afresh at a new 1, things r looking good n i’m in my happy, motivated self again ;-).I agree on clearing up the clutters (i have neverending clutters btw), u will feel refresh once u c ur room in better condition..sometimes i just go for nice cup of coffee or watch my fav drama & just not think too much to get out of a rut. Good to hear u r doing well, take care 😉
Thank you for sharing your experience, Samantha 🙂 I’m glad you took things in your hands and did what felt right to you and that it worked out for the better! The last time I felt terrible about my job, I took the step to leave it too and I think it was the best decision I ever made 😀
Hi Paris
It’s good to take a break and spend time alone. I cleared some mess in my house last weekend too and the whole process made my mind clearer. I have to clear my closet too. And I love the cabinet and table that u fixed.
Oh and I forgot to tell you that the rainbow is a symbol of God’s promise to His people. I remember reading it in the Bible. and yes God will bring us out from the stormy seas. I have been there and came back.
And another thing, you can reduce the number of posts in a week if it demands too much of your time. We will understand. Actually i am amazed that yo can post almost daily. If you have to cut down, pls do so. Learn to say NO. You need to rest too. Don’t let the PR ppl pressure u ok? take care ya.
Hi Lavender, thank you for your kind words 🙂 And thank you too for sharing the interpretation of the rainbow. It was an awe-inspiring sight because I could almost touch it, and isn’t something I’m likely to forget in a hurry. Sometimes, we need these sorts of messages to remind us of the beauty that’s life, and what we can’t control but which is beautiful anyway 🙂 I’ll be sure not to let anyone pressure me again – things will be changing around here and hopefully, for the better for me and for everyone else 🙂 Thanks for the support and advise 🙂