Granted, if I was dressed like the mannequin in the picture above, I think I might be delirious from a high fever, and am thus not quite rational so it would perhaps be a good idea for someone to stop me :P
But my question is mostly related to something less extreme. For example, if you were experimenting with a new makeup look or practising something like eyeshadow or eyeliner, or even wearing a red lipstick; and you think you look nice but then your friend or significant other or family member then tells you that it doesn’t look nice on you. Or maybe that you should not even wear any makeup at all, even if you want to.
Or maybe you wear a new dress and like how it looks on you but someone else tells you that it looks too young or that you should not wear a colour that bright. Key point is, you do not think so.
Do other people’s opinions on your makeup or dressing affect you?
For the most part, I only value opinions if I ask for it. Other than that, I take it as an expression of my own style and I may listen, but I don’t take it in if I don’t relate to it.
Sometimes, I may be told that my makeup is too extreme although that’s rare, or that my foundation doesn’t suit me, or my blush too red. I appreciate that, because its constructive, but I don’t let it affect me. I might just do the same thing again next time, because I’m feeling like it.
I guess you could say that I’m not fussed about what other people think about my makeup or dressing. I do not appreciate people telling me that I should not wear any makeup at all if I want to, or that I shouldn’t wear red lipstick because it looks vampy or trashy; or that I shouldn’t wear eyeshadow because my eyes look small when I do.
There is a way to get around all problems. Wear a light red if you don’t want to rock the boat, or learn to use makeup to enhance your features, not drown them in colour and thick troweled on foundation. Choose a different shade of colour in your next dress, and if you are told you don’t look nice in a dress, find out what makes them think so and then find a way around it.
I personally do not believe we should allow ourselves to be dictated to by others in anything we do. But, without being all headstrong and stubborn or being a doormat, I believe we can all meet halfway and get a happy medium… if the other person’s opinions matter of course :P If they are people who do not matter to you then tell them to push off! :P
What say you? Are you affected by other peoples’ opinions on your makeup or clothes? Would you stop wearing certain makeup or dressing a certain way if someone else does not appreciate it? Or do you try to meet halfway?
Paris B
My mom is a little… conservative towards these things, so I tend to keep things, er, simpler when she’s around. However, I feel that when I’m having a busy week, what makes me feel best in the morning is dressing up in my own terms (within reason, of course). It just gives the extra spring in my step that I need!
Coming from a protective household, I know where you’re coming from :) Then again, I left home to study so there were years where I was out of my parents’ eyes and by the time I came home, they were comfortable enough knowing that I didn’t turn into a punk goth to let me do my own thing ;) But I have to agree that wearing something we enjoy is definitely a mood lifter!
Nicely worded….I wish I can always not care but I must admit criticism does impact how I feel….I trust my mom’s opinion the most so I look to her.
I know right? Some people can be very nasty but I play the ignore game these days. Getting older helps and I trust my family’s opinion best too! :)
suddenly i am reminded of ‘poke eye’ dressing :P usually no one comments on my clothing since i don’t usually wear extraordinary outfit.
HAHA! Yes man, that poke eye incident was just too surreal >.<
For me, the most important thing is being myself. I have to feel comfortable AND confident wearing the makeup or clothes. Granted, people are allowed to their opinion, but individual style is unique. I’m not going out in hot pants and fishnet stockings because I can’t carry the look, and I just don’t like it, but I’m not gonna tell a young girl with long toned legs to change her clothes.
In the end, there are only less than a handful of people’s comments that really matter to me. Others, I find, are just noise if I didn’t ask for advice. Also, I think the security comes with age. The older I get, the less I care about what other people think. Hehe… attitude much?
With age comes wisdom ;) I’m not bothered either but I was perturbed because I read a comment saying that the commentator didn’t wear shadows because her bf/husband thought she had squinty eyes with them on. There are ways to get around these things. Heaven knows, I’ve had my share of squinty eyed days before hitting on a formula that works :D
I get affected to the point that I double check myself on the mirror if I really don’t look good. But I still follow what I like or how I feel. If I think I look good, I don’t change my makeup or clothes. :)
I think we are all affected to a degree, just how much :) Like you, if I feel comfortable in what I’m wearing, I don’t take heed. Maybe they are squinty eyed hehe…
This is such a good question! When I first saw the heading, I thought “no way” but as i read further, I have to admitt that I do let it affect me even though I wish I didn’t. For examle even if I like something and i’m wearing it confidently as soon as someone says something, I may still wear it happily but their opinion will pop in my head from time to time throughout the day. That to me means that I’ve let their opinion affect me somehow.
As I mentioned to Issa above, I believe we are all affected to a degree… just how much :) The important thing to me is that if we feel comfortable and happy, we should not let others dictate how we look or dress because if they are our friends and family they should support us. Constructive criticism is helpful but not if they make fun of you like I know some people do. That’s just nasty :P
When I get comments, I will somehow remember them. The next time I do my makeup again, I will inevitably recall those comments. haha. I had a friend who told me not to put so much lipgloss.
And those who told me not to make my eyes look so pigmented.
Question is Jyoan, do you apply less lipgloss and less eyeshadow? ;)
I’m lucky to be born with a personality who accepts constructive criticisms just like you! Mr. AMW is the best example of someone who gives me super constructive criticisms so he stopped me from getting out of the door if he thinks my foundation is too light on me! I get to adjust it before I leave home making me look PERFECT for the outside world (HEHEHEHHEHEH) Just joking!
But yeah, I do accept opinions from others and thank them for it but never use it as a reason to have a GOOD or Bad day! At the end of the day, it is how I feel about myself that’s important! :D
LOL Its helpful having Mr. AMW keeping an eye on you ;) But yes, its how we feel about us that should be important. SOme people just like to tear others down so its important to make that distinction in comments received :)
I”m too old to be bothered with what other people have to say. I am my own boss :) I dont tell people what to wear so I expect them to behave the same too. I saw this quote a long time ago and totally agree with it….opinions are like assh*les, everyone has one and it stinks, LOL. Its okay to listen to opinions and advice from family members but to the rest….nuh uh!
HAHA I love that quote and it is so true too! :D I’m like you. I’d rather rock to my own beat than conform, which is what many people will try to make you do. How boring to have a homogenous world right?
For me it depends..
– if it’s people whose taste and opinions I trust, then I’d likely take it into consideration
– if I did it just for fun (ie. for a party) and am blaming it on temporary insanity, then I wouldn’t really bother and just have a good laugh!
You forgot Point #3 – if its someone who is just being a pain, hit the ignore button! :D
I used to have this friend who loves to criticize for the sake of criticizing. Somehow there is always faults with everyone, hair look dirty, lipstick too red, blouse too revealing, pants too tight etc etc etc Needless to say, I am avoiding her like a plague.
eeks what negative energy! Good thing you realized it enough to stay out of her way
Like you, I only take advice to heart if I ask for them. There are a handful of friends I can count on who will tell me if I look like an idiot but for most part, I’m happy to develop my own style. Also, style, like fashion is very subjective. Providing it’s constructive criticism, I don’t mind taking it. Because I’ve experienced far too many “critique” laced with malicious intent, I’ve learnt to take everything with many pinches of salt.
True! Style is a personal thing. Sometimes people like to use a backhanded compliment which is just a thinly veiled criticism cloaked as a compliment.
Sometimes I do take into consideration of people’s comments, if I’ve the time to change or if I also have doubts about it. Otherwise, I’ll just go with the experiment and see how it turns out. Of course, my dressing is pretty tame so I don’t think there’s going to be terrible consequences with just experimenting a bit more.
I think you’re right. If we have a little doubt then perhaps seeking another’s opinion is a good thing. I dress quite tamely too so I don’t really have a problem in that area hehe … ;)
I’m often told that I shouldn’t wear bright and colorful eyeshadows and do more conservative looks instead, but I just don’t care. Makeup to me is a medium to express myself, not something I do to please others. Having said that, if the criticism is constructive, then I’ll keep it in mind next time I apply makeup.
I think whenever anyone is a bit out of the ordinary and does not conform, then there is more likely to be criticism. But if we are happy not conforming, then I don’t see why we should cave in and be part of the majority right? :)
Hi Paris! Hehe, another nice topic to ponder upon… =D
I really like everything u said above & I agree with your views.
As for me, the person that pops to my mind is my BF who comments on my clothes & makeup~
Haha…I’m usually lazy to put on makeup most of the time, but I’m always eager to put the effort on certain occasions when i’m out with him, & he tells me that he likes my face without makeup~ -__-”’ Or he teases me about my ‘panda eyes’ (I think i might have been overenthusiastic with the eyeliner & mascara LOL) So, thank God i have a fave blog like yours to refer to on makeup tips & I solved this by doing tightlining & only 1 coat of mascara instead of 2, so that my eyes still look defined but with no obvious smoky effect~ ;-) But sometimes, when i feel like it, I’ll still experiment with my makeup regardless of his teasing, because i like to look good & i need to practise my makeup skills!
As for dressing, I’m more inclined to wear the styles that he likes on me, but if there were a particular style that i like & he doesn’t, I’ll just wear it when i’m not with him! Haha, talk about meeting halfway eh?
Hi Phoenix! I’m glad tightlining has helped you! It has most certainly helped me too whenever I want to look natural but… not :P I’m sure he’s pleased to see you make the effort anyway. I find that guys are really blur most times. They say they like a girl without makeup but if something light is applied, they may not even notice and may even compliment you on it hehe… :)
I’ll accept criticism as long as I know they were told with kind intentions – not to bring me down or just for the sake of sayin’. Some people are just mean that way.
The Boyfriend is a good measurement of aesthetics, sometimes he’ll ask me why I didn’t remove all my stray brow hairs before taking pictures of my eye or ask me to dye my hair again when too much black has grown out.
Yup! I’ve come across some really nasty people too, who are just nasty for the sake of being nasty. They probably derive some sick pleasure out of it LOL!
Who says other people always have better sense than we do?
In my case, it might bother me, so I may ask for a second opinion from someone else.
If I receive a compliment, however, I will wear that look again! :)
haha! I like that! Its too true that people may not have better style sense than we do (they only think they do!) I think you’re right too. A compliment is also another person’s opinion of our dressing and makeup and we should definitely take that to heart ;)
Even I appreciate the comments ina consturctive way but if someone tries to impose something on me, I don’t think I would really heed to that. I am myself pretty critical so unless I am confortable with something entirely, I don’t really venture out so I don’t like intruding comments and again it also depends on who is giving comments. Someone close and whose opinion I really value or someone who just wants to show the authority!!! It so happened during one my hair cuts. One of my elder relatives was going on and on about my *bad hair style* but actually, it was a pretty one which definitely made me look different and everyone had complimented me on it. So, I guess there is a prejudice which comes with age too.
If its any consolation, when I had my recent hair cut where I went for a china doll look, the first thing my family did when they saw me was laugh :D But I was expecting it and they didn’t mean it in a mean way, so I didn’t feel bad about it. But I have also experienced the elders who feel they have a right to comment about everything from your life to how you look and that bugs me… just not in a good way.
If I really like what I’m wearing, be it on my face or my clothes, I don’t usually care about what other people might think. Especially if I feel good and I think I look good with it! Except if I’m wearing something ridiculous and I’m forced to wear it.. Haha! :)
Indeed! I think we should wear what makes us happy and what we think makes us look good. Sometimes, people don’t know any better either and just want us to conform, which I don’t think is always a good thing. A little non conformity makes things interesting ;)
I’ve wrote a post this subject that pretty much sums up what I think, here’s the link if you have the time to read it : http://www.dramanmakeup.com/2012/01/drawing-line.html
xxxx
Thanks for sharing S :)