Hello Ladies!
Saturday again – time moves so quickly these days. I don’t like taking up lots of your time on a Saturday (there’s more fun things to do out there!) but if you have a little time, here’s a question for you.
How do you deal with criticism?
Do you lash out? Get upset? Accept it and move on?
When I was younger (hah!) I was a bit of a hot-head so when criticized, whether rightly or wrongly, I’d lash out almost immediately. Nevermind that it was constructive criticism. I’d lash out anyway because I was always right! Take that! 😈
And then I’d get upset because deep inside I knew they were right but I was just too proud to admit it.
These days that I’m older (and wiser – haah! 😛 ) I pause first before I see red. I give myself a few seconds or minutes to consider if the criticism might be accurate or correct. If it is, I accept it and do what I can to adopt it, albeit it may be a little grudgingly.
If it isn’t, I say so. Not by lashing out but by taking a reasoned approach wherever possible. This avoids confrontation but it is hard because I’m naturally hot-headed. Yet I’ve learnt that this way, I don’t lose a friend or make someone else and myself angry, I don’t get my blood pressure up, and people might actually see they were wrong.
However, if it is criticism I cannot react to personally e.g. something online on another website or blog, or hearsay from a third party then I let it slide. No point making a mountain out of a molehill or getting angry against faceless aggressors who are too gormless to tell it to your face anyway 8)
How would you deal with criticism? 🙂
Happy weekend! 🙂
Paris B
Hanny says
November 20, 2010 at 9:27 amI tend to totally ignore criticism, whether good or bad. I have this ego problem that negates all the good criticism, haih… Could it be only a phase?
ParisB says
November 24, 2010 at 1:24 pmWell good criticism, no matter how hard to swallow is always worth thinking about 🙂 I was hard headed when younger too and I think I’ve just grown up over the years.
Ava says
November 20, 2010 at 12:03 pmI behave so childishly, I just refuse them and get angry or upset!!!!! I know it is a biggg problem!
ParisB says
November 24, 2010 at 1:25 pmAww… since you do know its a problem, perhaps just give it 2 minutes next time before getting angry or upset. We all do coz I don’t think anyone likes being criticized at all but sometimes there’s something there to learn 🙂
Jessica says
November 20, 2010 at 12:32 pmIt depends. If it’s a constructive one, I’d put my pride aside and swallow whatever comes my way. Of coz, I may cry when I get home but it is for the good. However, if I do get critism that is otherwise or mirror personal attacks, I put on my fangs and I attack (grrr!) LOL.
ParisB says
November 24, 2010 at 1:26 pmooh fangs! *runs away* 😉 I know exactly what you mean. If its something that makes sense I usually just shut up else I might get angry or cry 😛
eliza says
November 20, 2010 at 12:55 pmfirst angry (but keep quiet), later think about it and weighing the good and bad of the criticism. If i think its not logical, i talk bout the fella with my sister to get her opinion~
ParisB says
November 24, 2010 at 1:26 pmThat’s nice that you talk it out. My best critics are my family – no holds barred there 😛
ny says
November 20, 2010 at 2:36 pmmy reaction depends on the people who criticise me. if its my family, i lash out immediately. if its my friends, i welcome it and think what a true friend, must cherish her. if its just an acquaintance, i will analyse why he/she said such things about me and then be sad about it before getting really angry at her on who is he/she to say such things about me.
ParisB says
November 24, 2010 at 1:33 pmAww… I’m more accepting of family criticism and less from strangers or friends 😛
Nikki says
November 20, 2010 at 2:40 pmHmm..when it is from real friends and family, I do take a moment of silent and think about it, and if I think they’re right, I’ll accept it, but if they’re still wrong, it’ll be a long night of conversation hahahah
When it comes from someone I do now know or who don’t know me personally, I tend to listen, think about it, and if they’re right, take time to rethink about what I’ve done , but if its totally wrong! I will let it slide!
ParisB says
November 24, 2010 at 1:34 pmThat’s all very logical Nikki 🙂 I guess I’m pretty much the same as you except that if people are wrong, I just close my ears. hehe
Shay says
November 20, 2010 at 5:06 pmBreak down and cry.
Hahaha….naw….I take criticisms quite seriously. I would try to change my behavior if that is what is required to make others happy. However, if it is a personality thing. Sorry. Can’t change myself. They have to go find some other friend. Hahaa….
ParisB says
November 24, 2010 at 1:36 pmAww… you’re so nice! Sometimes criticisms are for our own good because we can’t always see where we go wrong. But I guess a lot lies in how the criticism is leveled i.e. whether it is told to us nicely or in a rude manner. For the latter I give as good as I get 😛
melchewvin says
November 21, 2010 at 1:07 amI always give my true opinion to others, i believe it will help people to improve and spot their mistakes although it’s not always nice to hear one
ParisB says
November 24, 2010 at 1:36 pmA nicely given criticism or advice can be very helpful, and doesn’t make people as mad 😉
Julia says
November 21, 2010 at 5:23 amHm, I think it depends on who criticizes me. If it’s something I respect, I’ll take it. If some random stranger has some mean remarks, I try to ignore it, but…
ParisB says
November 24, 2010 at 1:37 pmI know what you mean by the but… we try to let it slide but its not that easy is it?
shuaddict says
November 21, 2010 at 12:37 pmIt has improved as I’ve gotten older but I still lash out – internally, on myself usually 🙁 Eitherways is not good imo. It’s just something most of us will learn to handle with time.
ParisB says
November 24, 2010 at 1:40 pmYep! How we deal with it is something we must learn ourselves and time and maturity is usually the best way.
Liz says
November 21, 2010 at 10:53 pmIf it makes sense, I’ll take it and even thank them for it. But if it is just pointless accusations, I’ll defend myself while throwing sarcastic remarks to the idiot and will only lash out when a nerve is hit. I work in a customer service orientated environment so I’m used to it on a daily basis. Criticisms still hurt though, both good and bad. I have a tendency to think about them for days after since I’m pretty sensitive.
ParisB says
November 24, 2010 at 1:45 pmOuch! Customer service is the frontline of customer abuse unfortunately. I guess there’s a difference between criticism and accusations. The former usually makes sense while the latter is by irate people who don’t know better or who are just nasty. Criticisms, no matter how true or valuable can hurt.
j3nny9irL says
November 22, 2010 at 8:16 pmHmmm I’ve alwiz been quiet abt criticism since young and just let ppl say what they wanna say. Even though unhappy abt it I just let them finish til they stop. Which I find it bad. I used to write diaries to let go my feelings coz I never talked to anyone, not even my parents coz of too much of an age gap. I was the only one and never really mixed with any cousins or had many friends. I’ve gotten used to being alone and handle things my own way.
I am quite a stubborn one too especially when someone blames me. If I am right I will never admit being wrong no matter how anybody forces me to admit I am wrong. I recently stopped writing diaries and letting go my emotions more which I find it quite bad as well haha coz I can’t control it now. Well, maybe I need to learn how to balance things around. I am just happy that being with my current bf made me stop writing diaries and am being happy abt things in life and abt myself as well.
I still get criticized a lot til now, I just ignore it and keep quiet abt it. No point debating or arguing over it. I just want to be myself, this is who I am and I choose to do or say things I would say or do. I just hope that ppl around me would just be themselves and don’t try to change just to please ppl around you. I wouldn’t do that. 🙂