Getting out of the rut, and getting a grip of yourself

Peekaboo! Hello friends

You know what? This one week of not blogging, and not even looking at the blog or anything related to it has been liberating. It has also made me miss it more than I realised. I wasn’t planning to be back this quickly, but I have because I missed it, I missed talking to you and I also had my epiphany moment after talking to a couple of friends.

But first, I want to thank all of you for your kind comments in the previous post and on email. It means a lot to me because its made me realise that I am reaching out to people who share the way I feel and who can relate to the way I think and do things. I think MWS has grown far beyond just me, the blogger; its now about all of you who chime in ever so often with your input, and I embrace and am humbled by the growth and support. Group hug anyone?

While I was away, in a bit of a limbo and a rut, there were some things I did that helped me get out of that rut and I wanted to share them with you. We all face a rut sometimes, whether in our work, personal lives, passions and perhaps this can help you get out of it, the way it helped me

Take time off

This is the first thing I did. I identified the source of my frustration and I took time off. For me it was an overlap of work and the blog so I took time off both. I actually took the week off work and stayed home. All I did was spend time with myself, not bothering about the demands of anything except my tummy – just zenning out. On some days, I sat for hours just looking out the window… and on my birthday, after a stormy afternoon, I saw the most beautiful double rainbow right outside the window, so close I could almost touch it. The wonders of nature never cease to amaze me and the message was clear. It maybe stormy but at the end of it will be a lovely rainbow

Clear your clutter

We all have clutter, whether we realise it or not. It could be clutter of random items filling up the nooks and crannies of your home, or it could just be closet clutter. So I sat down and cleared my clutter. I went through drawers, tossing out things that I’d kept “just in case” and things I’d kept “because I’m not sure what to do with it”. Take a big black bin bag and just toss. If you have not looked at it or thought about it for months (or in my case, years) its time for it to go. I took to my store room and cleared out my shoes. Tossed out the ones that were beyond repair and that I never wore anymore, and set aside those that are still wearable but that I don’t. Tossed out old shoe boxes and rearranged things so it was neat and tidy again.

I then did something I’d been wanting to do for a long time. I set up my study/home office One trip to the hub of home organization, Ikea and I finally had a proper work area. Next on my list is a good comfortable work chair and I’m all good to work from home whenever I need to (or blog, whichever is relevant)

If you believe in feng shui, one of the tenets is exactly this. Clutter encourages the pooling of stagnant chi when what you need is for chi to flow. A very simplistic view, but it helps clear your mind even as you clear your clutter. Tossing out things helped get rid of old ghosts too. My next project is my closet and I plan to be brutal about it! (and then I can justify clothes shopping yay! )

Spend time with friends

Make that good friends. Friends you can have a laugh with. Friends you can sit around and talk crap with. Friends with whom you feel as comfortable in your T-shirt and shorts, sitting at a streetside “dai chow” restaurant eating good food while being bitten by mosquitoes, as you are dressed up in your finest and having la-di-da drinks in an up market restaurant. Friends who see you are on a hiatus and deliver gifts to help that hiatus along – scented candles and lavender tea. So zen now, I’m horizontal

Figure out your strengths and what you want to do

2 friends spoke to me separately about my taking a blog break, and what they said stuck in my head. One said to be sure I was doing what I wanted and enjoying it; and the other told me to ignore the external stresses and not to let them get me down. That was what triggered my epiphany.

I realised that I quite like my day job. Its challenging and keeps me in my creature comforts and frivolities and luxuries so I’m not about to give it up just yet. I also like blogging. It allows my creative side to develop and I love writing my thesises… theses? thesi? LOL Ok, my blog posts I have a new found love for photography too. But I also worked out that I don’t enjoy blogging about makeup looks.

Doing looks or makeup and taking photos of myself just isn’t my speciality if its not related to how a product works. My strength lies not in my makeup skills, which are rudimentary at best. The thing I do best is apply lipstick – kid you not! I can’t interpret looks, nor can I even pull off anything very elaborate, mainly because its not something I am all that keen on. Sounds sacrilegious I know I like seeing how things work and making them work, so I wear enough makeup to look polished, but I’m not an artist nor am I very imaginative. Art was never my favourite subject, writing was. That realization was helpful because I don’t have to feel any more pressure to conform to the perceived mould of a beauty blogger for better or worse, and I can get on with what I love Of course I’ll still provide swatches and how a product looks wherever necessary. Helpful things like that won’t change but knowing what I dislike and coming to terms with it helps

Oh and there’s also more to beauty and being a woman, than just makeup or skincare. It might not sit well with some, but it pleases me to talk about other things that I like too from time to time. If doing this breaks the “beauty blogger” label, c’est la vie! I’m comfortable with it

Learn to say NO

Yummilicious Chocolate Banana Loaf Cake @ Zang Toi Cafe Parkson Pavilion KL

One of the key tenets to living a happier life is to learn to say No. Its hard sometimes, but when it has to be done, it has to be done. So, I now choose to operate on a “Do it my way or no way” principle when it comes to demands on my time and effort. Knowing your worth and knowing what you want to do helps a lot in saying that one syllable word “No” as it does in saying that other one syllable word “Yes”

Its ok to get help

More often than not, we want to sort out our problems ourselves where possible. But realistically, that can sometimes make things worse as you sit around digging yourself deeper and deeper into your rut. They don’t call it a rut for nothing! So, get help. Someone to give you a hand to help you climb out of your doldrums. Someone who has the skills you need to achieve the goal you want. Its ok to get help. Sometimes, that’s the first step towards heading back to normality

Look on the bright side

Positivity begets positivity. I talked about this once before, but it is worth repeating. When dark clouds are overhead, its very easy to allow yourself to be dragged down. Finding the bright side and focusing on it is the challenge, and something I forced myself to do. It does help you know. When I started looking on the bright side of things, and stop being so morose and negative, I have had quite a few positive experiences, and so long as I don’t waver, it can only get better.

What do you do to get out of a rut? Do you sometimes feel like you’re just stuck with no way forwards nor back?

There maybe some changes going on around the blog, or there may not, and there maybe a couple of bumps in the road while I get my blogging mojo back, but for the conceivable future, hey! I’m back in action!  Thank you for sticking it out with me, everyone. Regular transmission should resume shortly

xoxo

Paris B

Featured: Lifestyle
Categories: Musings,Tips
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