Your Say: Are you affected by other peoples’ opinions on your makeup or clothes?

by Paris B on · 67 comments

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dressing Your Say: Are you affected by other peoples opinions on your makeup or clothes?

Granted, if I was dressed like the mannequin in the picture above, I think I might be delirious from a high fever, and am thus not quite rational so it would perhaps be a good idea for someone to stop me icon razz Your Say: Are you affected by other peoples opinions on your makeup or clothes?

But my question is mostly related to something less extreme. For example, if you were experimenting with a new makeup look or practising something like eyeshadow or eyeliner, or even wearing a red lipstick; and you think you look nice but then your friend or significant other or family member then tells you that it doesn’t look nice on you. Or maybe that you should not even wear any makeup at all, even if you want to.

Or maybe you wear a new dress and like how it looks on you but someone else tells you that it looks too young or that you should not wear a colour that bright. Key point is, you do not think so.

Do other people’s opinions on your makeup or dressing affect you?

For the most part, I only value opinions if I ask for it. Other than that, I take it as an expression of my own style and I may listen, but I don’t take it in if I don’t relate to it.

Sometimes, I may be told that my makeup is too extreme although that’s rare, or that my foundation doesn’t suit me, or my blush too red. I appreciate that, because its constructive, but I don’t let it affect me. I might just do the same thing again next time, because I’m feeling like it.

I guess you could say that I’m not fussed about what other people think about my makeup or dressing. I do not appreciate people telling me that I should not wear any makeup at all if I want to, or that I shouldn’t wear red lipstick because it looks vampy or trashy; or that I shouldn’t wear eyeshadow because my eyes look small when I do.

There is a way to get around all problems. Wear a light red if you don’t want to rock the boat, or learn to use makeup to enhance your features, not drown them in colour and thick troweled on foundation. Choose a different shade of colour in your next dress, and if you are told you don’t look nice in a dress, find out what makes them think so and then find a way around it.

I personally do not believe we should allow ourselves to be dictated to by others in anything we do. But, without being all headstrong and stubborn or being a doormat, I believe we can all meet halfway and get a happy medium… if the other person’s opinions matter of course icon razz Your Say: Are you affected by other peoples opinions on your makeup or clothes? If they are people who do not matter to you then tell them to push off! icon razz Your Say: Are you affected by other peoples opinions on your makeup or clothes?

What say you? Are you affected by other peoples’ opinions on your makeup or clothes? Would you stop wearing certain makeup or dressing a certain way if someone else does not appreciate it? Or do you try to meet halfway?

Paris B

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[ 67 comments… read them below or join the discussion ]

Hanny April 3, 2012 at 9:07 am

My mom is a little… conservative towards these things, so I tend to keep things, er, simpler when she’s around. However, I feel that when I’m having a busy week, what makes me feel best in the morning is dressing up in my own terms (within reason, of course). It just gives the extra spring in my step that I need!

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Coming from a protective household, I know where you’re coming from :) Then again, I left home to study so there were years where I was out of my parents’ eyes and by the time I came home, they were comfortable enough knowing that I didn’t turn into a punk goth to let me do my own thing ;) But I have to agree that wearing something we enjoy is definitely a mood lifter!

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Jarucha April 3, 2012 at 9:07 am

Nicely worded….I wish I can always not care but I must admit criticism does impact how I feel….I trust my mom’s opinion the most so I look to her.

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 12:29 pm

I know right? Some people can be very nasty but I play the ignore game these days. Getting older helps and I trust my family’s opinion best too! :)

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xin April 3, 2012 at 9:31 am

suddenly i am reminded of ‘poke eye’ dressing :P usually no one comments on my clothing since i don’t usually wear extraordinary outfit.

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 12:33 pm

HAHA! Yes man, that poke eye incident was just too surreal >.<

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Lily April 3, 2012 at 9:33 am

For me, the most important thing is being myself. I have to feel comfortable AND confident wearing the makeup or clothes. Granted, people are allowed to their opinion, but individual style is unique. I’m not going out in hot pants and fishnet stockings because I can’t carry the look, and I just don’t like it, but I’m not gonna tell a young girl with long toned legs to change her clothes.

In the end, there are only less than a handful of people’s comments that really matter to me. Others, I find, are just noise if I didn’t ask for advice. Also, I think the security comes with age. The older I get, the less I care about what other people think. Hehe… attitude much?

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 12:35 pm

With age comes wisdom ;) I’m not bothered either but I was perturbed because I read a comment saying that the commentator didn’t wear shadows because her bf/husband thought she had squinty eyes with them on. There are ways to get around these things. Heaven knows, I’ve had my share of squinty eyed days before hitting on a formula that works :D

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Issa April 3, 2012 at 9:52 am

I get affected to the point that I double check myself on the mirror if I really don’t look good. But I still follow what I like or how I feel. If I think I look good, I don’t change my makeup or clothes. :)

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 12:36 pm

I think we are all affected to a degree, just how much :) Like you, if I feel comfortable in what I’m wearing, I don’t take heed. Maybe they are squinty eyed hehe…

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Roberta April 3, 2012 at 10:02 am

This is such a good question! When I first saw the heading, I thought “no way” but as i read further, I have to admitt that I do let it affect me even though I wish I didn’t. For examle even if I like something and i’m wearing it confidently as soon as someone says something, I may still wear it happily but their opinion will pop in my head from time to time throughout the day. That to me means that I’ve let their opinion affect me somehow.

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 12:37 pm

As I mentioned to Issa above, I believe we are all affected to a degree… just how much :) The important thing to me is that if we feel comfortable and happy, we should not let others dictate how we look or dress because if they are our friends and family they should support us. Constructive criticism is helpful but not if they make fun of you like I know some people do. That’s just nasty :P

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Jyoan April 3, 2012 at 10:02 am

When I get comments, I will somehow remember them. The next time I do my makeup again, I will inevitably recall those comments. haha. I had a friend who told me not to put so much lipgloss.

And those who told me not to make my eyes look so pigmented.

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Question is Jyoan, do you apply less lipgloss and less eyeshadow? ;)

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Nikki April 3, 2012 at 10:54 am

I’m lucky to be born with a personality who accepts constructive criticisms just like you! Mr. AMW is the best example of someone who gives me super constructive criticisms so he stopped me from getting out of the door if he thinks my foundation is too light on me! I get to adjust it before I leave home making me look PERFECT for the outside world (HEHEHEHHEHEH) Just joking!

But yeah, I do accept opinions from others and thank them for it but never use it as a reason to have a GOOD or Bad day! At the end of the day, it is how I feel about myself that’s important! :D

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 12:39 pm

LOL Its helpful having Mr. AMW keeping an eye on you ;) But yes, its how we feel about us that should be important. SOme people just like to tear others down so its important to make that distinction in comments received :)

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Cas April 3, 2012 at 11:06 am

I”m too old to be bothered with what other people have to say. I am my own boss :) I dont tell people what to wear so I expect them to behave the same too. I saw this quote a long time ago and totally agree with it….opinions are like assh*les, everyone has one and it stinks, LOL. Its okay to listen to opinions and advice from family members but to the rest….nuh uh!

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 5:24 pm

HAHA I love that quote and it is so true too! :D I’m like you. I’d rather rock to my own beat than conform, which is what many people will try to make you do. How boring to have a homogenous world right?

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beetrice April 3, 2012 at 11:12 am

For me it depends..

- if it’s people whose taste and opinions I trust, then I’d likely take it into consideration
- if I did it just for fun (ie. for a party) and am blaming it on temporary insanity, then I wouldn’t really bother and just have a good laugh!

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 5:28 pm

You forgot Point #3 – if its someone who is just being a pain, hit the ignore button! :D

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Vicky April 3, 2012 at 11:13 am

I used to have this friend who loves to criticize for the sake of criticizing. Somehow there is always faults with everyone, hair look dirty, lipstick too red, blouse too revealing, pants too tight etc etc etc Needless to say, I am avoiding her like a plague.

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 5:29 pm

eeks what negative energy! Good thing you realized it enough to stay out of her way

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LeGeeque April 3, 2012 at 11:29 am

Like you, I only take advice to heart if I ask for them. There are a handful of friends I can count on who will tell me if I look like an idiot but for most part, I’m happy to develop my own style. Also, style, like fashion is very subjective. Providing it’s constructive criticism, I don’t mind taking it. Because I’ve experienced far too many “critique” laced with malicious intent, I’ve learnt to take everything with many pinches of salt.

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 5:31 pm

True! Style is a personal thing. Sometimes people like to use a backhanded compliment which is just a thinly veiled criticism cloaked as a compliment.

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Kim April 3, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Sometimes I do take into consideration of people’s comments, if I’ve the time to change or if I also have doubts about it. Otherwise, I’ll just go with the experiment and see how it turns out. Of course, my dressing is pretty tame so I don’t think there’s going to be terrible consequences with just experimenting a bit more.

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 5:38 pm

I think you’re right. If we have a little doubt then perhaps seeking another’s opinion is a good thing. I dress quite tamely too so I don’t really have a problem in that area hehe … ;)

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gio April 3, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I’m often told that I shouldn’t wear bright and colorful eyeshadows and do more conservative looks instead, but I just don’t care. Makeup to me is a medium to express myself, not something I do to please others. Having said that, if the criticism is constructive, then I’ll keep it in mind next time I apply makeup.

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 5:40 pm

I think whenever anyone is a bit out of the ordinary and does not conform, then there is more likely to be criticism. But if we are happy not conforming, then I don’t see why we should cave in and be part of the majority right? :)

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Phoenix April 3, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Hi Paris! Hehe, another nice topic to ponder upon… =D
I really like everything u said above & I agree with your views.

As for me, the person that pops to my mind is my BF who comments on my clothes & makeup~

Haha…I’m usually lazy to put on makeup most of the time, but I’m always eager to put the effort on certain occasions when i’m out with him, & he tells me that he likes my face without makeup~ -__-”’ Or he teases me about my ‘panda eyes’ (I think i might have been overenthusiastic with the eyeliner & mascara LOL) So, thank God i have a fave blog like yours to refer to on makeup tips & I solved this by doing tightlining & only 1 coat of mascara instead of 2, so that my eyes still look defined but with no obvious smoky effect~ ;-) But sometimes, when i feel like it, I’ll still experiment with my makeup regardless of his teasing, because i like to look good & i need to practise my makeup skills!

As for dressing, I’m more inclined to wear the styles that he likes on me, but if there were a particular style that i like & he doesn’t, I’ll just wear it when i’m not with him! Haha, talk about meeting halfway eh?

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Hi Phoenix! I’m glad tightlining has helped you! It has most certainly helped me too whenever I want to look natural but… not :P I’m sure he’s pleased to see you make the effort anyway. I find that guys are really blur most times. They say they like a girl without makeup but if something light is applied, they may not even notice and may even compliment you on it hehe… :)

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BunBunMakeupTips April 3, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I’ll accept criticism as long as I know they were told with kind intentions – not to bring me down or just for the sake of sayin’. Some people are just mean that way.

The Boyfriend is a good measurement of aesthetics, sometimes he’ll ask me why I didn’t remove all my stray brow hairs before taking pictures of my eye or ask me to dye my hair again when too much black has grown out.

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Yup! I’ve come across some really nasty people too, who are just nasty for the sake of being nasty. They probably derive some sick pleasure out of it LOL!

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Julia April 3, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Who says other people always have better sense than we do?
In my case, it might bother me, so I may ask for a second opinion from someone else.
If I receive a compliment, however, I will wear that look again! :)

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 6:15 pm

haha! I like that! Its too true that people may not have better style sense than we do (they only think they do!) I think you’re right too. A compliment is also another person’s opinion of our dressing and makeup and we should definitely take that to heart ;)

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Swati April 3, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Even I appreciate the comments ina consturctive way but if someone tries to impose something on me, I don’t think I would really heed to that. I am myself pretty critical so unless I am confortable with something entirely, I don’t really venture out so I don’t like intruding comments and again it also depends on who is giving comments. Someone close and whose opinion I really value or someone who just wants to show the authority!!! It so happened during one my hair cuts. One of my elder relatives was going on and on about my *bad hair style* but actually, it was a pretty one which definitely made me look different and everyone had complimented me on it. So, I guess there is a prejudice which comes with age too.

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 6:17 pm

If its any consolation, when I had my recent hair cut where I went for a china doll look, the first thing my family did when they saw me was laugh :D But I was expecting it and they didn’t mean it in a mean way, so I didn’t feel bad about it. But I have also experienced the elders who feel they have a right to comment about everything from your life to how you look and that bugs me… just not in a good way.

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jen April 3, 2012 at 4:49 pm

If I really like what I’m wearing, be it on my face or my clothes, I don’t usually care about what other people might think. Especially if I feel good and I think I look good with it! Except if I’m wearing something ridiculous and I’m forced to wear it.. Haha! :)

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Indeed! I think we should wear what makes us happy and what we think makes us look good. Sometimes, people don’t know any better either and just want us to conform, which I don’t think is always a good thing. A little non conformity makes things interesting ;)

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S. April 3, 2012 at 5:36 pm

I’ve wrote a post this subject that pretty much sums up what I think, here’s the link if you have the time to read it : http://www.dramanmakeup.com/2012/01/drawing-line.html
xxxx

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Paris B April 3, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Thanks for sharing S :)

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Evelyn Chang April 3, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Sadly, I do get affected by my friends or family’s comment towards my dressings and make up (though I didn’t get much negative comment so far), but I think their comment do affect me if they say anything negative~

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Paris B April 7, 2012 at 11:26 pm

It’s quite natural to feel upset when a family member or close friends give a negative comment. But they probably know how to temper that negative comment so it isn’t too harsh :) that said, fact that you haven’t gotten many means you must be doing something right :)

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rudi April 3, 2012 at 7:01 pm

I remember experimenting with new eye make-up once and thought it looked great. My colleague, much older and a mentor, took one look and said – “you look like XYZ”; to which i asked “who?”. “oh, a movie star from old times”. Well, i was a little flattered at that comment but not so much with what followed a short while later – “she wore too much eye shadow too!” LOL – we are still great friends 20 years on.

I pretty much do my own thing and believe in the saying “those who care don’t matter and those who matter don’t care”.

Comments from good friends I will note but may not follow. Others, oh well, water off a duck’s back!

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Paris B April 7, 2012 at 11:29 pm

That’s such a cute story! :D I’m glad you took it positively but it was a cute way for her to get her message across :)

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Mira April 3, 2012 at 8:54 pm

I’m kinda affected by people’s opinions on my makeup. I told you before that I rarely wear eyeshadow because people said it made my eyes stand out too much, even if I’m wearing light-colored eyeshadow. I don’t really understand, the 1st time I used it I think I look just fine. But when people said that to me I started seeing myself weird too.

Oh, and I’m REALLY affected by people’s opinions on my clothes. I gotta admit that I’m kinda chubby. You know how family and friends always think that they can criticize us just because we are close or related. They simply say “hey, you look fat with that shirt” or “you must be happy staying at home during her sem break, you gained a lot of weight, I can see it from your clothes”. Since then I become phobia. Everytime I go out, I’ll stay at least 10mins in front of mirror looking at myself from all angles. Do these clothes made me look fat, do these colors made me looks chubbier. I’m working very hard now on losing all these hideous body fats, but it takes time. I gained 10kg in a year, and this 10kg won’t loose in a mere 3 months. I feel pressured everytime people criticize how do I look with certain clothes that I wear. Even if I like any shirt/pants, I’ll ask my mom 1st whether I look fat in this. If my mom said yes, then I won’t buy the clothes no matter how much I like it, how pretty it is. I hope I can become slimmer and I can buy all the clothes that I like without thinking that people might see me like a whale in the clothes.

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Shay April 4, 2012 at 6:21 am

Hello there! I have been chubby since I am young. Every Chinese new year, I would hear relatives tell me that I got fatter and fatter. After a while I am not so bothered already, because I focus on the good in myself. For example, nice natural, shapely eyebrows, a waistline, square shoulders, etc.

If I really like the clothes, I buy it and wear it. I find that I really carry myself with more confidence if I like how I look in the mirror. But of course, some fashion sense and knowledge on how to dress according to my body type helps a lot.

I think we can’t help but care about other people’s comments about us. But don’t worry, this too shall pass. ;)

Especially if you’re still in school, it’s easy to exercise, eat right and lose weight. After 25, I slowly lost my baby fat and my relatives no longer tease me. Last dec, I started exercising about 240mins a week. I have lost only 3kg but i have some comments that i look like i lost a lot. Like you, I need to lose 10kg. So, I have to keep going. I’m 32 now. I hope I can reach my goal at the end of this year. :D

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Paris B April 7, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Thank you so much for sharing, and for your advice, Shay!

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Paris B April 7, 2012 at 11:35 pm

Sometimes, I think we are harsher on ourselves than others are :) if your eyes are large, and if you can’t help making them the focus of your face, why not just embrace it and enjoy the attention? Some of us would kill to have pretty large eyes :) ok maybe not kill, but we’d love to have pretty and large eyes. As for clothes, with all the focus on being thin, it’s hard to escape all that, especially when they make clothes so small these days. A friend has, with lots of exercise and a healthy diet, lost 10kg in 4 months. It can be done, so good luck! Just remember to stay healthy! :)

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lavender April 3, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Interesting topic. I will only listen to my mom’s opinion and some close friends. Sometimes some people are jealous that you look nicer than them so they tell you don’t wear makeup simply because they don’t know how to use it and don’t want u to look nicer than them. This is my personal experience. For myself, I love to wear dress to work and I do get comments. i only take in the positive ones.

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Paris B April 7, 2012 at 11:36 pm

You have a point too, Lavender. Sometimes, people only feel better when they bring someone down and we shouldn’t give them that sort of satisfaction :)

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Jennifer April 3, 2012 at 10:47 pm

I’m one who sometimes take other people’s opinions too seriously. This came about since my younger days due to acne and what nots – very bad for self confidence and esteem. So much so, I give up wearing a particular item or trying new styles all together or avoid it when with the critic. But as I grow older and more comfortable in my own skin, I’ve learnt to ignore the negative comment if it only came badly from a person or better still, if the critic actually looked worse than me :) If I get repetitive bad comments, then I’ll question my sense of dressing and perhaps put the item in cold storage first.

I’ve learnt to accept criticism in a constructive manner, unless it was harshly put to me. In fact, now I’ve learnt to smile and say thank you whenever I receive a compliment rather than go hiding or do the polite Asian thing “No la, it’s just a normal dress”. Lol, age does amazing things to me sometimes :D

I am very new to make up so whenever I put on light make up, it still earns me compliments and lots of stares when oily eyelids turn me into a walking panda. But it’s all about trying within boundaries, no one is harmed in the process I guess ;)

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Paris B April 7, 2012 at 11:39 pm

That’s what I love about growing up. We learn to be comfortable in our skin and hang what everyone else says. If they don’t like it they can stuff it! ;) like you, I’ve,earns to say thank you to a compliment too! I love it when I say thanks and the complimenter looks at me weirdly, because I didn’t deflect it as most Asians would. Why should we right? :D

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